Anything to get away.
He ached from his calves to his groin to hear Aurora’s footsteps. From the small of his back to his chest, need gripped him tightly and fear for her choked him.
And then the door opened quietly, and Nico breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the pad of bare feet and guessed that she was carrying her shoes.
Aurora tiptoed past him.
She couldn’t really see him on the sofa—it was more she could feel that he was there.
She was so sick of Nico and his effect on her that it was all she could do not to spit in his direction.
Instead, she crept into the bathroom and stared at her streaked mascara and wild hair for a moment before she brushed her teeth.
She couldn’t even kiss anyone else.
The fireman was quite attractive.
Big and bearded, he was the type of man who would get on with her father. He lived in the next village and had said he was more than happy to come and meet her family, if that was what it took to get to know Aurora some more.
He was perfectly nice—but he was not Nico.
In every dream, in every thought, it was Nico she kissed, Nico who was her first, and she did not know how to change the grooves in which her mind was stuck.
Nico’s hands on her body.
Nico’s mouth on hers.
She washed her face, stripped off her clothes and pulled on a baggy old T-shirt that had seen better days.
But instead of heading to her bedroom it was the kitchen to which she headed, her choice fully made.
Nico would be her first.
He heard the fridge door open and water being poured, but feigned sleep as she stood over him.
‘I know you’re awake,’ Aurora said.
‘How come you’re back?’
She didn’t answer.
‘What have you been doing?’
‘I don’t answer to you,’ Aurora said, and then shrugged. ‘I was just sitting on the hillside, talking…’
‘With?’
‘You forfeited any right to ask, Nico.’
‘With?’ he asked again.
‘Chi-Chi and Antonietta.’
‘And your firefighter?’
‘He wants me. You don’t.’
‘So why are you here?’
‘I don’t want him. I want you.’
Nico could hear her despair and he took her hand, pulled her a little towards him, indicating for her to sit down.
‘Aurora,’ he said. ‘Me not wanting to marry has nothing to do with you.’
‘I would say it has everything to do with me, given our fathers agreed—’
‘Since when did I ever do as my father wished?’ Nico interrupted.
‘You rejected me.’
‘You were sixteen—and if you want to take offence that I was not attracted to some teenager who I looked at as a sister, then that is your choice.’
Aurora swallowed. She had never thought of it like that.
‘You think of me as a sister?’
‘I did.’
And now he did not.
‘Do you think of me the same way now? Or as a friend?’ she asked.
‘We can never be friends Aurora.’
Some might take that as an insult, Aurora thought, but it was true. She did not want to do the things she wanted to do to Nico with her friends.
‘What have you been doing?’ he asked again.
‘Trying to fit in—but as always I didn’t.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Chi-Chi is desperate to marry and Antonietta…’ She hesitated, and then told Nico what he might not know, as it was very recent news. ‘She is soon to be engaged to Sylvester.’
‘But isn’t he her cousin?’
‘Second cousin, I think,’ Aurora said, and watched as Nico pulled a slight face. ‘I don’t think she’s happy about it.’
‘I can’t say I blame her.’
Nico sighed. If Aurora was fire, then Antonietta was ice, and did not show her feelings. If Aurora thought Antonietta unhappy, then she was.
‘So,’ Aurora continued. ‘There is Chi-Chi wanting a husband, Antonietta not wanting one, and as for me…’ She took a breath and told him, ‘I am twenty and only last week had my first kiss.’
‘Just a kiss?’ Nico asked, and she nodded.
‘I hated it,’ she admitted.
Nico wasn’t sure he believed her. ‘You need to hide your Pill better, Aurora.’
‘You were snooping?’
‘And you think your parents don’t?’ said Nico.
‘Usually I’m more careful. I was in a rush tonight.’
‘So, if you have just had your first kiss, and hated it, why are you on the Pill?’
‘If you build it they will come,’ Aurora said. ‘Or hopefully I will.’
He laughed.
So did she.
Oh, they laughed—and it was such a moment, such a shared flash of bliss, to see cold, immutable Nico lie there and laugh, that she did what she knew she should not and moved her hand to his cheek.
His hand went to remove it, but instead it held hers there.
‘It’s me who doesn’t fit in, Aurora. I don’t want relationships. I don’t want responsibilities.’
‘And you probably don’t want someone who can’t kiss.’
‘Aurora, trust me—you can kiss.’
‘Can I try it on you?’
‘No.’
‘I repulse you so much?’
‘You know you don’t.’
‘Then why not let me kiss you?’
‘I’m not your practice board.’
‘So I go back to my firefighter…’ Aurora said, and felt his hands grip her fingers tighter.
‘One kiss.’
He said it with authority, but the undercurrent suggested they both hoped he was lying.
How to kiss him? Aurora pondered. How best to claim her one kiss?
‘What are you doing?’ Nico asked.
‘I want to see you,’ Aurora said, and she climbed up so she sat on his stomach, and it made her insides melt that he helped her and that he smiled.
She had not looked at her firefighter. In fact she had closed her eyes—though not in bliss.
Now she looked.
His face was still beautiful in the dark: the shadows in the hollows of his cheeks, the dent in his strong jaw, and those delectable lips, and those black eyes watching her.
‘You