Her voice was a little higher-pitched than Kara’s, and at times it was quite shrill. He glanced up and smiled awkwardly. ‘Yes, but …’
‘Oh, come on, Justin, once we get the insurance money, we can have the house rebuilt in no time and just how we want it. It will be perfect for our new baby.’
‘It’s not the house … it’s Kara I’m concerned about.’
Lucy’s eyes, carefully defined by heavy make-up, narrowed. Her lips tightened and pursed, but she reluctantly remained controlled. ‘Darling, people break up all the time, but they don’t go burning down a house and practically killing the neighbour. That poor woman will be lucky if she is able to ever walk or talk again … I mean, who does that? Jeez, I think you were lucky to get out when you did, because, sweetheart, sooner or later, her madness would have surfaced, and God knows what may have happened to you.’
Justin made a sad attempt at a smile, but underneath, he was racked with guilt. ‘I feel bad for her.’
Lucy flared her nostrils this time, unable to contain herself. ‘Look, listen to me: you need to put your energy into thinking about our baby, instead of worrying about some nutjob!’
Justin was in over his head. Lucy wasn’t anything like Kara and he had no idea why he’d shagged her. In fact, he couldn’t remember it at all. Two months ago, he was out with a group of friends from the workshop, Dave’s stag do. They did drink far too many shots and he recalled Lucy chatting him up, and if he was honest, he enjoyed the attention. Kara had been away for two months in Papua New Guinea on one of her expeditions, and he was lonely.
Then, he remembered nothing except calling for a cab the very next morning from Lucy’s flat. He’d felt guilty at the time but still decided not to come clean; after all, Kara would never know. How could she? They never went to that particular pub together.
When Kara returned home for a week, he spent every waking hour with her. He even took time off from work himself because he knew she would shortly return to Papua New Guinea for another month. He missed her so much when she was away. The house seemed so empty; he would wander from room to room, lost in his thoughts, his mind on Kara. It wasn’t as if when she was at home they talked all the time; often, she would just be there studying, but the fact that she was at arm’s length and he could plant a kiss just above her glasses or share a bath and even hold her tightly in bed was enough for him to feel contented.
However, this Papua New Guinea trip seemed to go on forever, and the week they had shared together, she wasn’t quite herself; at the time, he’d put it down to jet lag and overwork. Yet, she had seemed oddly cold, even snappy, as if she was under a lot of pressure from work. He didn’t push her, deciding it would be better if he left her alone.
The boredom, mixed with missing her, foolishly led him to soak up the attention from Lucy. He spent more time in the pub and in her company, and the incentive to do so was there. She was very flirtatious and the compliments she paid him boosted his ego, although he couldn’t blame Kara for any loss of self-esteem he felt. Far from it, yet Lucy was making him feel very special indeed, and as a man, he lapped it up, until once more Justin found himself drunk and in Lucy’s company.
Again, he couldn’t remember anything until he woke up in her bed the next morning. When Kara was home for good, he pushed the incidents out of his head. Kara’s mood swings and tetchiness continued and once again he assumed it was work. After a short while, Kara returned to her usual self and things were back to normal but then the unthinkable happened – fast. Lucy called him one night in floods of tears. Shocked that she even had his number, he managed to calm her down and agreed to meet up in the park across from where he worked. That was when she dropped the bombshell that hit him like a concrete post.
Justin was brought up never to shirk his responsibilities. It was bred into him, being raised by a mother and no father in sight. He could still hear his mother’s words: ‘You made your bed, now you must lie in it.’ But it wasn’t just his mother who had that opinion – he did too. All his life he had wished for a father and vowed if he had a child he would never abandon it.
Lucy removed his untouched plate and toddled off like a moving Barbie doll towards the kitchen. Justin followed her with his eyes and sighed deeply. It was all too fast and like a mad dream; sitting in the dining area with Lucy playing happy families was surreal. She was acting as if they had been together for years, and yet he was torn. On the one hand, he loved Kara, but on the other, he was faced with the cold reality that Lucy was having his baby.
He knew why he had liked Lucy initially: because although she was very different in personality, she was similar in appearance to Kara. It was not the overdone make-up or her hair, or the neat thin nose, but those amber eyes. He fell in love with Kara because of those hypnotic flecks and swirls like tiger stone. She was aloof at times with her head in a book and her oversized glasses perched on the end of her nose. But he loved the way she was so natural, with her blonde hair pulled up in a scruffy bun, and he was attracted by the way she could look highly desirable, even in just a loose tracksuit. Her beauty was innate, and if she did get dressed up in a tight sexy dress with a sprinkling of make-up, then she looked stunning and turned heads.
What he loved the most about her was that she never knew how beautiful she actually was. Despite her intelligence, she had a sweet naivety about her.
He watched as Lucy, in her high heels and skintight catsuit, came walking back with a confidence that emanated self-importance. She waved a bottle of wine and two glasses. ‘Here you go, sweetie, I bought us a special pressie.’
‘Lucy, firstly, I’m not in the mood. My house has just burned to the ground and Kara is in some prison somewhere. That’s probably down to us. Secondly, since you are pregnant, you cannot drink.’
‘Oh, don’t be like that, darling. I thought it might take your mind off all the drama.’
Justin rolled his eyes and left the room. He was drained and needed to sleep and hoped things would be clearer in the morning. He stared for a while at the plain white sheets and the grey walls – there was nothing warm or inviting here – and then he looked at his bags. They were still packed, apart from the bare essentials. Maybe he was too hesitant to really put his feet under Lucy’s table. He had no choice now, though. His home, their home, was totally destroyed. He just needed to be alone to think things over.
As he lay with his arms under his head, staring up at the ceiling, he thought about Kara and wondered how she would ever cope in prison. She wasn’t made for any such place. She was his delicate princess, his soul mate, and he’d let her down very badly. That said, she wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth – far from it. Not that Kara spoke much of her past.
Her mother, who wasn’t rich by any means, brought her up in a cottage down in Kent; however, she managed to pay for Kara to go to a posh boarding school. Kara hadn’t been exposed to the real world. He gritted his teeth, when he thought of how she would never survive if anyone hit her. She hadn’t had a physical fight in her life, and he’d never seen her be rude to anyone. She didn’t like confrontation. True, she’d certainly put up a fight to keep him when he’d delivered his bombshell, but the fact was he’d committed the act and he didn’t blame her for defending her own corner, even though her intense anger was a shock and that expression on her face haunted him.
* * *
The first thing that hit Kara was the smell; it could be best described as sweat mixed with a school canteen odour. With the overpainted metal doors and polished concrete floor enhancing the harshness, Kara longed for her warm bed and to be wrapped in a blanket, safe and secure. She realised then that peace and tranquillity, words that had been so important to her, were now just words.
Every noise now had an almost frightening meaning to it. Every unexplained bang was making her jump, the rattling chains were setting her teeth on edge, and the periodic sound from the entry buzzer left her ears vibrating. The speed at which she was pushed from one section to another, expecting to take everything in, was alarming. She wasn’t