“Well, be careful,” Bill said. “You know how many STDs are out there? Some of them aren’t pretty.”
Who talked about STDs at a bachelor party? Geez.
“Sounds like you know a bit too much about that, Bill,” Sebastian joked. But when the man turned bright red, Sebastian realized that Bill might actually have had a few experiences at the local health clinic.
“You get in trouble, Bill?” Theo echoed.
“I’m married now,” Bill said, as if that answered anything. It didn’t.
The men all stared at Bill. Now they were all thinking about Bill’s issues. How had this party got so far off track? Next they’d be asking about where his rash might be.
What this party needed was a drinking game. Sebastian knew he sure needed another drink.
“How about we play a game of Never Have I Ever?” Sebastian offered.
“Yes, let’s,” Theo said, leaning forward.
“Remember first year of law school?” Marco slapped the table, causing his whiskey to slosh in his glass. Beneath their feet, the boat swayed slightly, the only indication they were out to sea. “You killed with this drinking game.”
“You binge drank in law school?” Bill shook his head in disapproval.
Sebastian glanced at the man’s pressed khakis, super-starched, pin-striped, short-sleeved, collared shirt and wingtips. Who wore wingtips on a cruise ship? Hell, who wore them to a bachelor party? Sebastian had opted for a tasteful Aloha shirt and flip-flops. They were headed to Cozumel and then to Key West. Nowhere in that itinerary did wingtips factor in.
“Hell, I binge drink now,” Sebastian joked. Or I will soon if this party doesn’t get going. “Come on, one round?”
“Let’s do it,” James said, his dark eyes lighting up a bit.
“How do we play?” Bill asked. Of course Bill wouldn’t know how. He’d probably drunk wine spritzers in college. Sebastian glanced at the wingtips again. Hell, he probably drank wine spritzers now. It would explain why he’d barely touched his whiskey on the rocks.
“Everyone takes turns declaring ‘never have I ever’ something. If it’s true for you, you drink. If not, you don’t drink. Those aren’t the regular rules, but it’s more fun this way.”
“Sounds a little silly,” said Bill.
“Let’s just try it.” Sebastian raised his glass. “I’ll go first.”
“But never is such a strong word. I mean, does this include all future acts, as well?” Bill asked, clearly overly concerned about the legalities of a drinking game. “Also, what if a participant lies? How will we know?”
Sebastian stared at the man wearing Argyle socks in the tropics. God, if there was a vampire of fun, Bill would be it. Did the guy have to be so literal? Theo frowned and shook his head, as well. At least Theo got it. The two men exchanged a what’s-with-this-dude look. He guessed it just went to prove you didn’t choose family.
“Well, nobody’s taking an oath to tell the truth, so the only way we’ll know if you’re lying is if we just call you on it,” Marco explained.
“Fine.” Bill shook his head in disgust.
“Let’s just play. Here.” Sebastian put down his drink. “Okay, never have I ever...” He tried to think of something fun. “Never have I ever run down the French Quarter naked.”
The other men laughed. Sebastian lifted his whiskey and took a deep drink. He noticed Marco and James did the same, while Bill barely sipped at his. This was going to be one hell of a looong night at this rate. Sebastian bowed his head.
“Okay, okay, I have one.” Theo raised his glass. “Never have I ever gone more than six months as an adult without sex.”
Theo tipped his glass back. James and Sebastian both drank, but Bill failed to lift his glass.
“Are you serious?” Theo glanced at Marco, surprised.
Both Marco and Bill shrugged. “Hey, anyone can have a drought,” Marco said.
“Well, I haven’t had sex with my wife since the first year I got married,” Bill admitted. Sebastian’s mouth fell open. “Just telling you, bud, things change when you get married.”
“No, they don’t.” Sebastian wanted to derail this conversation pronto. While marriage might kill a man’s sex life, the last thing he wanted was for Marco to start thinking matrimony meant never having sex again. “Lola isn’t like that. She’s mad for you. I don’t think you’ll be like...” Wingtip Bill, who seems to be walking birth control.
“Sebastian defending marriage? Never thought I’d see the day. What? You’ll be getting married next!” Theo exclaimed.
“If I find my person, you bet I will.” Sebastian was surprised by his own forcefulness. Since when was he so open to the idea of marriage? Or was he just playing the part for Marco? Keeping the man’s spirits up? Hey, I’m just walking the man to the guillotine here, trying to remind him things don’t look so bad.
“Really? And how are you going to find your person sleeping with everyone?” James asked.
Sebastian stared at his glass and frowned. “Hey, how do I know unless I try them all?” The other men at the table chuckled at the joke.
“If you’re really serious about this,” Marco said, “you’ll get serious about dating.”
Was Sebastian serious? He could be, he reasoned.
“There’s no way this conversation is even happening,” Theo said, shaking his head. “Come on, get serious. I’ve had longer relationships with yogurt in my fridge than this guy’s had his whole life.”
“Not true.” Sebastian was getting a bit defensive. “Besides, what does that have to do with finding the one?”
“You can’t find Mrs. Right if your bed is crowded with Ms. Right Nows,” Marco pointed out. “I’d been hookup free for a full month before I met Lola. It was nice not to have all that other noise when we started dating. I didn’t have to keep my phone away from her or worry about awkward run-ins with dating-app hookups.”
“You’re going to ask Sebastian to be celibate for a whole month? Not possible.” Theo shook his head so vigorously, he sloshed a little whiskey out of his glass. “Heck, even a week would be too much. Or weekend!”
“I could be celibate for a weekend,” Sebastian protested. Of course, come to think of it, he hadn’t been celibate for a whole weekend in a long, long time. But so what? He could do it anytime he wanted. All he had to do was shut off his Spark profile. “I’ll bet I can be celibate this entire cruise.”
Marco and Theo laughed. “We’re stuck on a boat, so that feels like cheating.”
“Stuck on a boat with thousands of attractive women. Uh-huh. Not exactly so easy,” Theo offered.
“Look, I’m not a sex addict,” Sebastian maintained, wondering why on earth he had to defend himself for getting some often and just the way he liked. “But what do I get if I do it? What’s the wager?”
“Bragging rights?” Marco offered.
“Why would I brag about not getting any?” Sebastian joked. Somehow he’d dropped out of this reality and into a dimension where men had seemingly lost all their hunting instincts.
“Fine, then, a nice bottle of bourbon,” Marco said.