“I know that.”
Her mam patted her cheek fondly. “Of course, I know how much you did for me both before my marriage to Benjamin and after. But...now that you’re here, things have to be different. It’s time you started thinking about yourself. About the life you’ll have separate from me—marriage, your own home, babies, God willing.”
“I told you I don’t want to talk about that.” Lovage gazed out over the garden. “My place right now is with you, helping you.”
“Oh, Lovage.” Her mother sighed. “You being my eldest, it’s natural that you feel the most responsible. But it’s time you flew the coop, my chick. Find yourself a good man and let him court you the way you deserve.”
Against her will, Lovage thought of Marshall Byler and how he had flirted with her the previous day at the harness shop. “And what if that’s not what I want?”
Her mother drew back, looking at her with true concern. “You don’t want to marry and have your own home? You don’t want a husband and children? I don’t believe that. Children are God’s greatest blessings. And His grace, of course. If any woman was born to be a mother, it’s you, Lovage.”
Lovage removed her straw hat and dropped it onto the brick walkway, letting the breeze ruffle her hair. Carefully thinking over her words before they spilled out all higgledy-piggledy, she straightened her starched white kapp and repinned the back of her hair securely. “I do want those things. It’s every girl’s dream... Her own kitchen...red-cheeked babies with sticky hands and butterfly kisses. But—”
“But nothing. If you want those things, you need a husband. And you need a partner to share the burdens of life,” her mother said softly. “A godly man who shares your faith, and will laugh with you and lend you his strength when you most need it. Don’t you want that?”
“I do want all those things someday,” Lovage assured her. “But not now. Now, I want only to be here with you, to help you through this.”
“Help me through this?” Her mother’s eyes widened in puzzlement and then she sighed. “Lovey—”
“There you are, my Rosebud,” boomed a deep male voice. Benjamin was a sturdy, fiftyish man of medium height, with rusty brown hair streaked with gray and a pleasant, weathered face with a high forehead and a broad nose under his straw hat. His full beard had a reddish cast and that, too, had begun to gray. At the moment, he was carrying a tray of assorted herb seedlings and had a twenty-pound bag of bonemeal tucked under one arm.
“I should have known to look here first.” He swung the white picket gate wide and strode into the garden. “And you with her, dochtah. What do you think of the place? I warn you, your mother had the final say. So if it doesn’t please you...” He chuckled. “You must blame her.”
Lovage’s mother laughed with him.
“Speak up, wife,” he implored. “Where do you want the bonemeal?”
She got up and went to him. “Anywhere at all, Benjamin,” she answered, taking the tray of seedlings from him.
“That’s no answer. Shall I drop it in the pond or balance it on a fence post?”
“Anywhere will do, but preferably not in the water,” Rosemary said, setting the plants on the ground. “Here.”
“She’s full of honey-do’s, this wife of mine.” Benjamin winked at Lovage conspiratorially and lowered the bag of bonemeal to the ground beside a section of newly worked, bare dirt. “You see how she treats me?” He straightened and slipped an arm around her mother’s waist.
“Go on with you.” Her mam blushed like a schoolgirl. “You’re embarrassing Lovage. What will she think of us?”
“That we suit each other like bread and honey,” he teased, wrapping his other arm around his wife.
Giggling, Rosemary tried to push her husband’s hands away, but with no great effort.
Uncomfortable, Lovage glanced away. She truly liked her stepfather, but their outrageous behavior was going to take some getting used to. She could never remember her father acting so, and she knew their marriage had been a happy one. Physical affection wasn’t something one saw often with an Amish couple. And certainly not one of their age. Both were old enough to be grandparents and Benjamin soon would be. His married daughter, Mary, was expecting twins.
“See, what did I tell you? Behave yourself in front of the children.” Still chuckling, her mother stepped out of her husband’s embrace. “Go see to your harnesses and buggy wheels and leave us in peace.”
“There now, wife, I meant no harm,” Benjamin said. “And no disrespect to either of you,” he added, looking to Lovage.
“I know that.” Lovage nodded, but avoided his gaze.
It was true. In spite of the current situation, she was pleased that her mother had found someone who obviously adored her and could provide for her. It was only natural that mixing two large families into one would require adjustment. Her aunt Paula thought her sister Rosemary had lost her mind to accept the offer of a man with six children, five under his roof.
“You must have chores of your own to do,” her mother told Benjamin.
“If you say so, Rosebud,” he agreed. “Unless you need me here.”
She smiled at him. “I do not. Now off with you, before you embarrass poor Lovage even more.” She watched him trudge away with a feigned sad expression. When the gate shut behind him, she turned to her daughter. “You mustn’t pay his silliness any mind. Benjamin is so pleased to have you with us. And you’re going to like it here,” she added.
Lovage nodded.
Leaving the home where she’d been born and grown up hadn’t been as difficult as Lovage had thought it might be. She could see that the move to a new place and a new, larger home that neither her mother nor Benjamin had shared with another spouse seemed the wisest course. It was too soon to know if she would like Delaware, but her mother clearly did. And Lovage was happy to be reunited with her sisters and mother, and her little brother.
“It seems like a good house and community,” she said. “Of course, I haven’t met the new bishop and preachers yet. Or the other families.”
“You will like them very well,” her mother said. “The sermons are short and pithy and our church members welcoming. Everyone has embraced us and they’re eager to meet you.
“Now, to get back to what we were talking about before we were interrupted,” her mother continued. “Why is it that you have set your mind against being courted by a suitable young man now? A sweet and capable girl like you. You could have your pick if you’d just—”
“Mam, please. Don’t talk like that.” She felt her cheeks grow warm. She knew what she was. Too tall, too lanky...too opinionated. But that wasn’t the point. “It’s not about me. It’s about you. A woman your age...in your condition,” she intoned.
“In my condition?” The amusement seeped from her mother’s face and her chin firmed. “I am neither sick nor so decrepit that I can’t run my own household. I’m forty-five and carrying a child. It is not an illness. It’s a natural condition for a married woman and it’s a blessing. God has given Benjamin and me another life to cherish.”
Lovage knew she blushed. To have such a conversation with her mother made her uncomfortable, but if she was determined to have it, have it they would. “A pregnancy at your age is considered high risk. I’m worried about you and it’s my duty to help you through this.”
“Goose feathers! I’m as strong as a horse.” Chuckling, she picked up the basket she’d been using to gather herbs. “You’re the one who needs help, Lovage. And I would be