“I know I don’t want them going up in flames.” She cleared her throat, suddenly aware of a thick blanket of awkwardness settling over them. She didn’t know what to do with him now. Did she...not touch him unless they were going to have sex? Did she kiss him if she wanted to or did she need permission?
She needed a friends-with-benefits handbook.
“Um,” she began, rather unsuccessfully. “What exactly are my benefits?”
“Meaning?”
“My benefits additional to this friendship. Do I...kiss you when I see you? Or...”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
She looked up at him, all sexy and delicious looking in his tight black T-shirt, cowboy hat and late-in-the-day stubble. “Is that a trick question? Because the only answer to ‘Do I want to kiss a very hot guy?’ is yes. But not if you don’t want to kiss me.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her up against him before bending down to kiss her slowly, thoroughly. “Does that help?”
She let out a long, slow breath, the tension that had been strangling her since he’d arrived at her house leaving her body slowly. “Yes,” she said, sighing. “It does.”
“All right,” he said, extending his hand. “Let’s go.”
She took hold of his hand, the warmth of his touch flooding her, making her stomach flip. She let him lead her to the truck, open her door for her. All manner of date-type stuff. The additional benefits were getting bound up in the dating lessons and at the moment she wasn’t sure what was for her and what was for the Making Her Datable mission.
Then she decided it didn’t matter.
She just clung to the good feelings the whole drive to Ace’s.
When they got there, she felt the true weight of the spectacle they were creating in the community. Beaches was one thing. Them being together there had certainly caused a ripple. But everyone in Copper Ridge hung out at Ace’s.
Sierra West, whose family was a client of both her and Chase, was in the corner with some other friends who were involved with local rodeo events. Sheriff Eli Garrett was over by the bar, along with his brother, Connor, and their wives, Sadie and Liss.
She looked the other direction and saw Holly and Ryan Masters sitting in the corner, looking ridiculously happy. Holly and Ryan had both grown up in foster care in Copper Ridge and so had been part of the town-charity-case section at school. Though Holly was younger and Ryan a little older, so she’d never been close friends with them. Behind them was Jonathan Bear, looking broody and unapproachable as usual.
She officially knew too many damn people.
“This town is the size of a postage stamp,” she muttered as she followed Chase to a table where they could deposit their coats and her purse.
“That’s good,” he said. “Men are seeing you attached. It’s all part of changing your reputation. That’s what you want.”
She grunted. “I guess.” It didn’t feel like what she wanted. She mostly just wanted to be alone with Chase now. No performance art required.
But she was currently a dancing monkey for all of Copper Ridge, so performance art was the order of the evening.
She also suddenly felt self-conscious about her wardrobe choice. Wearing this outfit for Chase hadn’t seemed bad at all. Wearing it in front of everyone was a little much.
The jukebox was blaring, and Luke Bryan was demanding all the country girls shake it for him, so Anna figured—regardless of how comfortable she was feeling—it was as good a time as any for them to get out on the dance floor.
The music was fast, so people weren’t touching. They were just sort of, well, shaking it near each other.
She was just standing there, looking at him and not shaking it, because she didn’t know what to do next. It felt weird to be here in front of everyone in a skirt. It felt weird to be dancing with Chase. It felt weird to not touch him. But it would be weirder to touch him.
Hell if she knew what she was doing here.
Then he reached out, brushing his fingers down her arm. That touch, that connection, rooted her to the earth. To the moment. To him. Suddenly, it didn’t matter so much what other people around them were doing. She moved in slightly, and he put his hand on her hip.
Then, before she was ready, the song ended, slowing things down. And now she really didn’t know what to do. It seemed that Chase did, though. He wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her in close, taking hold of her hand with his free one.
Her heart was pounding hard. And she was pretty sure her face was bright red. She looked up at Chase, his expression unreadable. He was not bright red. Of course he wasn’t. Because even if this relationship was new for him, this kind of situation was not. He knew how to handle women. He knew how to handle sex feelings. Meanwhile, she was completely unsure of what to do. Like a buoy floating out in the middle of the ocean, just bobbing there on her own.
Her breathing got shorter, harder. Matching her heartbeat. She couldn’t just dance with him like this. She needed to not be in front of people when she felt these things. She felt like her arousal was written all over her skin. Well, it was. She was blushing like a beacon. She could probably guide ships in from the sea.
She looked at Chase’s face again. There was no way to tell what he was thinking. His dark gaze was shielded by the dim lighting, his jaw set, hard, his mouth in a firm line. That brief moment of connection that she’d felt was gone now. He was touching her still, but she had no idea what he was feeling.
She looked over to her left and noticed that people were staring. Of course they were. She and Chase were dancing and that was different. And, of course, a great many of the stares were coming from women. Women who probably felt like they should be in her position. Like she didn’t belong there.
And they could all see how much she wanted it. That she wanted him more than he wanted her. That she was the one who was completely and totally out of control. Needing him so much she couldn’t even hide it.
And they all knew she didn’t deserve it.
She pulled away from him, looking around, breathing hard. “I think... I just need a break.”
She crossed the room and went back to their table, grabbing her purse and making her way over to the bar.
Chase joined her only a few moments later. “What’s up?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
“We were dancing, and then you freaked out.”
“I don’t like everybody watching us.”
“That’s the point, though.”
That simple statement stabbed her straight through the heart. “Yeah. I know.” That was the problem. He was so conscious of why they were doing this. This whole thing. And she could so easily forget. Could so easily let down all the walls and shields that she had put in place to protect her heart. And just let herself want.
She hated that. Hated craving things she couldn’t have. Affection she could never hope to earn.
Her mother had left. And no amount of wishing that she would come back, no amount of crying over that lost love, would do anything to fix it. No amount of hoping her father would drop that crusty exterior and give her a hug when she needed it would make it happen. So she just didn’t want. Or at least, she never let people see how much she wanted.
“I know,” she said, her tone a little bit stiffer than she would like.
She was bombing out here. Failing completely at remaining cool, calm and unaffected. She was standing here in public, hemorrhaging needs all over the place.