Because he had isolated himself emotionally from his work so effectively?
The way he’d isolated himself from his wife and daughter?
That was in the past. He’d learned his lesson. With the resolution that things were going to change from now on, Rafael didn’t dismiss the pleasure of having Abbie working beside him. Instead, he channelled it into making sure he did the best work he was capable of.
* * *
Talk about diving into the deep end.
Six hours later, Abbie all but staggered into the changing room where she’d stored her clothes in her old locker. The one beside Rafe’s.
She headed for the closest shower, which offered a private area that included a slatted wooden bench seat beneath a hook on which to hang her dry clothes. Having hung what she would change back into on the hook, however, Abbie didn’t immediately close the door or turn on the shower to let the water get hot. Instead, she sank down on the wooden seat and closed her eyes for a moment.
Everything ached. Her back and feet seemed to have totally forgotten their ability to stand in one spot for so long without major discomfort. She had cramp in her fingers from the fierce control she had exerted to make every one of the countless sutures she’d made as perfect as possible. Her eyes felt gritty, with a fatigue that was numbing her mind and making it impossible to think of anything but finding the energy to get up and turn on that shower.
And yet Abbie was smiling as she rolled her head in a slow circle, trying to get the painful kinks out of her neck.
How good had that been?
Challenging. Intense. But so satisfying. She hadn’t hidden her skills beneath a deep layer of rust like she’d feared. Even better, she and Rafael had worked together just as they always had. There’d even been at least one of those magic moments when that complete harmony had kicked in and it had felt like it was one surgeon who happened to have four hands.
Finally, Abbie found the strength to stand up and turn on the hot water. She knew it would take at least a minute to heat up, unless they’d made some big improvements in the plumbing while she’d been away, so she stood there waiting and tried rolling her head again because there was one particularly painful spot between her shoulder blades.
‘Sore neck?’
The query was accompanied by the metallic scrape of a locker door opening. Rafael must be feeling every bit as exhausted as she was. They’d both gone to Recovery with their small patient to watch over her as her level of consciousness lifted but Rafe had stayed longer, wanting to adjust the level of sedation they would keep her under.
Something stopped Abbie turning around. They had just spent a considerable period of time working so well together. Was it that she didn’t want to spoil that by finding that he was avoiding eye contact, perhaps? Or that she might see resentment that would confirm he’d only sent for her because Leo and Ethan had hauled them over the coals about not working together?
She put her hand under the stream of water to check the temperature and to excuse her not turning around. ‘How’s Lucy doing?’
‘Very well. When I’ve had a quick shower, I’ll find her grandmother and take her to visit Lucy in Recovery.’
His voice was getting louder with every word. Good grief, had he stepped into this shower cubicle with her? Abbie tensed, ready to turn, but then froze. Apart from the sound of the running water, there was an odd stillness. Maybe Rafe had just gone past the open door to get a towel or something. She might turn and he would be nowhere to be seen and even in the split second when she imagined that possibility, she could also feel the thud of disappointment it would create. But, even as that flitted through her brain, she felt the touch of his hands on her shoulders. His thumbs digging into her spine as they made small circles over her knotted muscles. He knew exactly where that sharp ache tended to settle, didn’t he?
‘Oh...’ Abbie let her head droop. ‘That feels amazing...’
It was by no means the first time she’d been treated to a neck massage after a tough stint in Theatre so it was no surprise he could do it so well. It was, however, the last thing Abbie had expected right now.
What was happening here? The magic she’d wanted when she’d first seen Rafael again and had imagined an embrace that could wipe all out all the grief they’d given each other?
Certainly the sensations Rafael’s fingers were conjuring up were enough to wipe out rational thought. Like worrying about any hot water that was being wasted. Tendrils of a pleasure-pain mix were shooting down her spine and arcing right through her body.
But it was just a neck massage. If they hadn’t happened to be standing in a shower cubicle it was something that could be perfectly acceptable between any colleagues who were friends and understood the aftermath of the physical challenge they’d just shared. If she started thinking it was intended to be intimate she could well be lining herself up for disappointment.
‘Thanks.’ Abbie’s movement was subtle but the touch of Rafael’s hand vanished instantly. She could feel him taking a step back even as she turned her head to smile at him.
‘We did it,’ she said.
‘Indeed.’ Rafael had one hand on the door. He raised his other hand to rub his own neck. ‘I’m sure Ethan and Leo will be delighted to hear how well we managed to work together.’
Oh, yes...that disappointment had only been waiting to hit Abbie hard enough to make her lose her emotional footing.
‘That wasn’t what I meant,’ she muttered.
Rafael leaned closer to hear her. Was it intentional that the movement pushed the door closed behind him? ‘What did you mean?’
‘That we put Lucy back together. I...I think she’s going to get a good result.’ Sudden, unwelcome tears stung the back of her eyes. Abbie turned them towards the shower so that Rafael wouldn’t see. There was steam billowing out over the top of the curtain now. At least she’d be able to have a good cry when she was under that stream of water. She needed Rafe to go away. Now.
But he didn’t. ‘We certainly did,’ he said. ‘And what’s more, you probably saved her hand, Abbie. Well done, you.’
The praise was sweet. So sweet that Abbie couldn’t hold back the tears now. She had to swipe at them with her hand.
‘Oh...Abbie...cara...’
Rafe was turning her to face him. Tilting her face up with gentle pressure under her chin. The warmth of the steam around them had nothing on what was sparking between them and had it dampened the oxygen level as well? Abbie’s lips parted as she tried to find a new breath.
The caring tone of the endearment Rafael had used still hung between them and it made the flicker of desire in his eyes totally irresistible. Abbie couldn’t look away. Her fatigue was forgotten as her body strained towards his, her mind willing him to touch her. To kiss her.
She had no idea who moved first, and what did it matter?
This was no gentle reunion kind of kiss. It was how Abbie had dreamed it might be. An incandescent moment that would burn everything else into oblivion. A leap straight back into the fierce passion they had discovered the first time they’d touched each other. A passion that had only grown more powerful the more they’d learned about each other’s bodies.
He knew exactly what took her over the edge. The slide of his tongue against the inside of her lip and the way it tangled with the very tip of hers. The slide of his hands inside her clothing and the way those strong hands cupped her buttocks and pulled her against that hardness she knew so well. Wanted so badly...
But somehow it didn’t feel right. Maybe it was becoming aware of the splash of water beside them and remembering where they were and how inappropriate this was.
Or...maybe it was something much bigger than that.