“Are you on break?
“I actually worked the night shift. I just got off about fifteen minutes ago, but I heard the noise and decided to see if I could help.”
He nodded. “I’m glad you were here. I might have gotten myself tossed out of the hospital before I’d been in town a week.”
“That would be unfortunate. Especially with the Appalachia trip coming up.”
And why had she even brought up the relief mission? The last thing she needed to be thinking about right now were those two weeks. Not when she hadn’t quite figured out how she felt about being there with him.
They made their way to the first floor, and as the elevator doors opened she was met with the hospital’s Christmas trimmings that had gone up in the last couple of days. Three festive trees were clustered to the side of the huge glass entry doors, the sparkle of silvery tinsel catching the light. On the other side stood a life-sized animated Santa, his bag of toys thrown over one shoulder, his head swiveling from side to side as if looking for his sleigh.
Above them, glittery snowflakes hung from fishing line, the climate-control system making them dance.
She’d always loved this time of year. “The hospital does a great job decorating.”
“Hmm...”
The sound was so noncommittal that it made her laugh. “You don’t like it?”
“It’s just different from the places I’ve worked.”
Of course it was. “The military doesn’t decorate for the holidays?”
“They do, it’s just not normally so...” He paused, as if searching for the right word. “So extravagant.”
Hollee looked with different eyes and could see how he might think that. “I’m sure where we’re going, then, you’ll feel right at home.” Then, wondering if that sounded pompous, she added, “It’s not the decorations that make Christmas special. It’s the spirit behind it. Arlington Regional has a lot of children who walk through those doors. And sometimes they need a little bit of hope—a little bit of magic.”
“I never thought of it that way. I guess I’m used to dealing with cynical adults whose deep pockets only give up funds for other things.”
“Things that save lives.” She smiled. “But you’re right. I think it all depends on its target audience.”
If things went as planned she would be here to help out on at least one of the hospital’s “Staff Santa” afternoons in the next couple of weeks, when they handed out gifts in the pediatric ward. It was always fun to see who they got to play the part of Santa. After that, she’d be away in Appalachia, in a town called Bender, for the rest of the festivities, playing a completely different kind of Santa. Two groups so very different but that both needed a shot of hope and happiness.
They arrived in the cafeteria, which was also decorated for the season, boasting small centerpieces on each of the laminate tables. She headed straight for the coffee machine, where she dumped a couple of sealed creamers titled “Mint Fantasy” and three packets of sugar into a cup.
He smiled. “I see you like a little coffee with your flavored syrup.”
“It’s the only way to enjoy it.” She scrunched her nose. “I’ll never understand how people can drink theirs black.”
“Since that’s how I like mine...”
“Okay, so maybe I was being a little judgmental. But for me, coffee is a dessert. Best savored in tiny delicious sips that make you tingle all over. Sweet, luscious and silky smooth.” She closed her eyes for a second, her tongue already anticipating the flavor.
Clancy didn’t answer, and when she glanced up, she found his eyes on her in a way that made her swallow. Oh, God. She’d made her coffee sound almost like...sex.
Strangely, they’d only shared a single kiss but, like her dessert coffee, she could still taste him. That light touch between them had been romantic and sweet and had hinted at things that had made her skin heat.
Their kiss had happened at Christmas too, and she could still remember exactly what had led up to it. Ava had pointed above her at something on the ceiling of her and Clancy’s childhood home with a wink, and when Hollee had glanced up, she’d seen a sprig of mistletoe.
And she had been standing right underneath it. And Clancy... She could still see his mischievous grin. That time he’d kissed her on the cheek. He’d saved the real kiss for later that evening, when he’d driven her home. Only that time he’d been the one holding the sprig. And when their lips had met...
She closed her eyes, suddenly angry with herself for even thinking of that night.
It might have meant something to her, but it hadn’t to him. He’d made that very clear.
It was as if someone had flipped a switch and turned Clancy into a totally different person. He’d still been intense, his loose bad-boy vibe deadly to the senses. Obviously a lot of other women had found him just as attractive. He still was.
When his attitude toward her had shifted, she’d nursed that hurt until it had festered, convincing her that Jacob was the better choice. After all, she felt like she knew him, whereas Clancy had become a stranger. When Jacob had wanted to save sex for their wedding day, she’d been fine with it. But when they’d finally slept together, it had been a huge letdown, and she wasn’t sure why. But she’d loved Jacob and had convinced herself it didn’t matter.
But maybe it had. Maybe if she and Clancy had had let-down sex, she wouldn’t be sitting here now wondering if he would have been as delicious as her coffee.
She turned away, feeling like she was betraying Jacob’s memory somehow. Maybe she’d been guilty of comparing them all along, and Jacob had figured it out. Maybe that’s why he’d changed.
Forget it. She concentrated on pouring and stirring her coffee and snapping on the lid. She should have just gone home, instead of offering to keep Clancy company. Tearing open old wounds was not something she was interested in doing. Especially if it would cause forgotten memories to come creeping back, dragging a matching bag of emotions with it.
“Ready to head to the waiting room?” she asked.
“Yes.” Then he frowned, touching her hand. “Thank you for checking on Ava. And being her friend.”
“She’s always been there when I’ve needed her. How could I do any less?”
“Well, I’m glad you were there anyway.”
“I’m sorry about the father. It was a rough time for her.”
He shrugged. “Mom didn’t even tell me what happened until I came home. I knew she was expecting, but not that he’d run off with someone else while I was still in Afghanistan. Maybe that was a good thing.”
“Will you go back overseas?”
“No. I was ready for a change.”
Something shifted in his demeanor, making her say, “It couldn’t have been easy.” Her glance went back to his face and the separation in his eyebrow. If anything, the scar made him look even more gorgeous, which was ridiculous. A scar was simply epithelial tissue that filled in a wound. It didn’t change who he was.
Or did it? He seemed less carefree than he had ten years ago. Harder in ways she couldn’t quite put her finger on. He was twenty-nine, just two years older than she was. There were no strands of gray in that thick, dark head of hair, but he almost seemed ancient, his frown line carving a deep groove that nothing would erase. She hated to think what