She looked at Pauline’s hand on her arm. The same place that Callum had touched her. The touch that had made every tiny hair on her arm stand on end and little unfamiliar sparks shoot up her arm. It had felt odd.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about any of this. She’d spent a long time with one man and the thought of another—even one who was familiar—was alien to her. There was still that burning edge of disloyalty. Right now she couldn’t even consider that Callum could be anything but a friend. No matter how her body reacted to him. It didn’t help that her confidence was at an all-time low.
She caught a glimpse of her reflection in one of the windows in ITU. She hardly recognised herself these days. Even she was aware of how thin she was.
She’d once been proud of her figure. She’d liked the glow about her skin. But all that had been lost in the last three years. She barely even looked in a mirror any more. She got her hair cut when it took too long to dry in the mornings. She only put make-up on to stop people commenting on how pale she looked. What man could ever find her attractive now?
‘It’s only work, Pauline, nothing else.’ The sadness in her voice surprised even her. Why were thoughts like this even entering her mind?
‘But maybe it could be something else?’ Pauline had raised her eyebrows and there was a hopeful tone in her voice.
Everything about this made her uncomfortable.
‘If it hadn’t been for the accident, our paths would never have crossed again. It’s just some crazy coincidence. Callum isn’t interested in me.’
‘Isn’t he? Well, he apparently asked after you while he was in.’
‘He did?’ She hated the way her heart had given a little jolt at those words.
Pauline finished checking the controls on the ECMO machine and recorded them in the log. ‘Yes. He did.’ She stared at Jess. ‘All I’m saying is there’s a world of possibilities out there. Just leave yourself open to a few.’ She hung the chart at the end of the bed and moved across to the next patient.
Jessica gazed at her reflection in the glass. A world of possibilities.
How on earth would she cope with those?
CALLUM WAS BORED. Bored rigid.
He usually liked coming to study days. There was always something new to learn in his job and some networking to be done. But this guy had been droning on for what seemed like hours. It felt like he was saying the same sentence over and over again. It didn’t matter that the clock had only moved on ninety minutes, it felt like groundhog day.
The door at the back of the auditorium opened and he heard a little murmur around him, accompanied by the sound of over a hundred firefighters straightening up all at once. He turned sideways, trying to see what had caused that effect. Had the chief officer just come into the room?
No. It wasn’t the chief officer. It was a woman with caramel-coloured hair and a sway to her step. His mouth fell open. Jess?
All of a sudden he was paying attention to what the man at the front of the room was saying. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to welcome Dr Jessica Rae. She’s a paediatrician at Parkhill, the children’s hospital in Glasgow.’
Callum tore his eyes away from Jessica for a moment—something none of the other men in the room were doing—to look at his programme. It had someone else’s name on it for the next lecture.
‘Dr Rae is filling in for Dr Shepherd, who had an unexpected family emergency today. We’re very grateful that she could find the time to step in for us. Dr Rae will be talking to us about paediatric smoke inhalation and immediate treatment.’
Callum watched as Jessica walked to the front of the room. Her hair was shining and resting in curls on her shoulders. And she was dressed cleverly in layers to hide how thin she was, and in bright colours to complement her skin tone.
‘Hey, Callum, isn’t that the lady doc from the minibus accident?’ the firefighter sitting next to him whispered.
‘Yes, it is.’ He still hadn’t taken his eyes from her. She was wearing a bright blue dress that was draped and gathered at the front. She looked good. She had more colour about her face today and was wearing bright lipstick.
‘Wow. She looks gorgeous.’ He turned and squinted at Callum, in the way only a friend could. ‘Didn’t you say you knew her from years gone by?’
Callum shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He knew exactly what was going on in Frank’s head. ‘Yeah. She’s an old friend.’
Frank let out the lowest of whistles. ‘Wish my old friends looked like that.’
The hackles at the back of Callum’s neck immediately rose. Frank was only voicing what every appreciative man in the room was thinking. But that didn’t mean that he liked it. He wanted to put a cocoon around Jess and protect her. Hide her away from the leering glances.
He hadn’t seen her in more than a week and, boy, was she a sight for sore eyes. The fact that thought had sprung into his mind alarmed him. Why, all of a sudden, was he annoyed by the fact that other men found her attractive? What right did he have to feel like that?
More than once this week his hand had hovered over the phone, thinking of a reason to phone Jess again. Looking for any excuse just to speak to her.
But then his rational side had kicked in and brought him back into reality.
Too bad reality was looking kind of blurry right now.
Jess stood up at the podium and looked around the room. When her eyes rested on Callum he saw her give a little start, before she gave him a nervous smile.
‘Hi, folks. I recognise some of the faces in here today because unfortunately, in our lines of business, our paths frequently cross.’ She pressed a button and the presentation appeared on the wall behind her. ‘I’m going to give you some up-to-date information on the best things you can do for a child with smoke inhalation.’ She lifted her hand and gestured around the auditorium. ‘I’m sure it’s something you’ve all had to deal with.’
Jessica was confident at work. She was in control. That much was clearly evident. She could probably have done this presentation with her eyes shut. And it was nice to see her that way.
Her voice was steady and clear. ‘We don’t expect any of you to do anything more than the most basic first aid. I’m sure you’re all aware that the paramedics and ambulances aren’t always on scene immediately, so my job today is to give you enough information to feel confident in your first responses.’
She lifted her hand, pressed a button on the remote and the screen behind her changed. Then she turned back and gave the room a dazzling smile. ‘Now, let’s begin.’
It was officially the quickest thirty minutes of her life. She hadn’t hesitated that morning when a colleague had asked her to cover for him. As a paediatric consultant at a teaching hospital she was often asked to give lectures to medical students and people in other disciplines. This was a walk in the park for her.
If only there wasn’t a great big distraction right in the middle of the room.
Callum was definitely the proverbial elephant in the room today.
She spent the whole thirty minutes trying to avoid looking at him. She was sure that if she caught a glimpse of his green eyes she wouldn’t be able to concentrate at all.
It was strange. She should have felt happy that there was a friend in the room,