The dark flames in his gaze blazed, his fingers moving higher, finding my clit and circling.
I groaned and lifted my hands, wanting to touch him, hang on to him because the desk was tilting, I was sure of it, and if I wasn’t careful I was going to slide right off.
‘Hands on the desk.’ The order was hard and flat as he continued that maddening touch between my thighs. ‘And keep them there. You don’t get to touch me yet. Not until you give me what I want.’
I put my hands down, helpless to resist the command. ‘Xander,’ I panted. ‘I... I...’
‘You what?’ The last word was vicious as his fingers hooked into the lace of my knickers and jerked them aside. ‘You’re hot and wet and desperate for my cock?’ He touched my slick, bare flesh and I couldn’t hold back the desperate moan as raw pleasure licked up inside me. ‘Is that what you meant to say?’
I swayed, gripping onto the edge of the desk so tightly my knuckles went white. I didn’t want to give in, I so didn’t, but he was driving me insane. How many times had I imagined him touching me? How many times had I lain by myself in the darkness of my bedroom, imagining him giving me orders and me obeying them?
Hundreds of times. Thousands. Countless.
‘No,’ I forced out, trying to resist the urge to open my thighs wider, lift my hips against his hand. ‘That’s not wh-what I meant to say.’
‘You’re such a liar, Poppy.’ His fingers slid through my folds, a firm, deliberate pressure. ‘Why are you lying? When I can feel how much you want me?’
‘I’m...not...l-lying,’ I said through my teeth, even as my pussy throbbed and ached, desperate for more of his touch.
Gently he took a fistful of my hair and drew my head back, forcing me to look at him. And I didn’t protest. I needed to look into those mesmerising black eyes, to ground myself. Because the pleasure was eating me alive and I didn’t know what to do with it.
‘You want me,’ he said relentlessly. ‘You’re desperate for me. I can feel it. You’re practically coming all over my fingers already.’
My face flamed. There was no way I could deny it, not now. And when one of those long, clever fingers pushed gently into me, I jerked, a low, animal sound of pleasure escaping my throat.
‘How long?’ His voice was guttural, his fingers in my hair winding tighter, pulling my head back even further. ‘How long have you wanted me?’
There was no resisting his authority, no resisting him.
‘S-Since...’ When had it been? That Christmas? My brain wasn’t working and then his finger eased deeper, pushing against the walls of my sex and I lost my train of thought entirely. I was so wet there was no resistance. My thighs trembled and it was all I could do not to shift against his hand.
‘Tell me.’
‘Christmas,’ I gasped. ‘Five, six years ago.’
‘Why Christmas?’ His fingers curled inside me, his thumb stroking over my clit.
I groaned, looking up into his dark eyes, the truth spilling out of me even though I didn’t want it to. ‘Your dad’s friend had a dog. And it was jumping up. You told it to sit down and be quiet, and then you stroked it.’ I couldn’t stop the words; they kept coming. ‘I wanted you to do that to me. I wanted you to tell me to sit down and be quiet. And then I wanted you to stroke me.’
Shit, why had I told him that? It was the most embarrassing thing on earth.
Yet there was no surprise in his face. It was as if he’d been expecting that explanation all along. ‘Why did you want that?’
‘Because I wanted your attention.’ I don’t know why I kept going. Then again, I’d told him everything else. What was one more humiliation? ‘I wanted you to l-look at me. To touch me.’
He was all dark, magnetic fury and burning heat. ‘You know that seals it, don’t you? Knowing that you wanted me. Because now I’m going to punish you for that kiss and for holding out on me.’ His thumb began a slow back and forth, stroking my clit. ‘If you want my cock you’re going to have to beg for it. That’s your punishment, Poppy.’
I shuddered at the hot shock of pleasure that went through me at the rough, dirty words. At the demand in them. At the thought of begging him for what I wanted.
And I did want it. I’d wanted it for so long I couldn’t even remember what it felt like not to want it.
Thoughts went through my head, vague warning thoughts about how this was a slippery slope. And how if I started begging Xander for what I wanted now, and started taking his orders, then there was nothing to separate me from my mother.
But his fingers were moving between my legs and the thoughts vanished like smoke.
‘Well?’ His thumb moved tantalisingly over me, the look on his face utterly compelling. ‘Beg me to fuck you, Poppy. Beg me for it.’
And I saw at last what lay underneath his fury: desperation.
He needed this as badly as I did.
All the remaining breath left my lungs as the things he’d been saying all this time finally hit.
‘I’ve wanted you for years...’
He wanted me. He wanted me.
I didn’t know why it made any kind of difference, but it did. Maybe it was understanding that even if I begged him I’d still have some power because he wanted this so badly. That in this moment I had the ability to give us both what we needed.
Perhaps knowing that made the words slip out so easily, and they did. Like I’d been waiting for years to say them.
‘Yes,’ I forced out, my hips tilting uncontrollably against his hand as his finger twisted inside me. ‘Please, Xander. Please...’
‘Please what?’
‘Please...f-fuck me. I need you.’
Instantly he moved, taking his fingers from between my thighs and pulling me off the desk. I had no time to protest or even speak as he flipped me around and bent me back over it, his hand on my nape, pushing me down.
I gasped as he jerked up my skirt and then I heard the sound of his belt buckle being undone, his zip going down. There came the crinkle of foil, a second of his harsh and ragged breathing, and then he was gathering my hands and crossing my wrists behind me, pinning them in the small of my back.
I was shaking, an all-over tremble I couldn’t stop. The way he held me, locking my wrists so I couldn’t move, made me feel so totally in his power that my pussy throbbed and my nipples got painfully hard.
Perhaps I should have been panicking at being completely helpless before him. But I wasn’t. In fact, it was the opposite.
I was shaking, but deep inside a part of me relaxed. As if it knew everything would be okay because I was with him. And I didn’t question it, I didn’t fight it. Because finally—finally—I was getting something that I wanted.
Him.
His free hand brushed over my exquisitely sensitive sex, spreading me, holding me open. And then came the push of his cock.
I groaned, shutting my eyes as I felt my pussy stretch around him, shivering at the feel of him as he thrust in hard. He was big, hot and I found myself straining against his hands, wanting to move.
‘Keep still.’ He held me tighter. ‘And don’t make another sound. We’re in my office, remember?’
Oh, God, that was right. And the door wasn’t locked.
Weirdly