Somehow, that helped. Somehow, it infused her with a sense of confidence she had not known she could find here.
These men, these women, might well be the rulers of this domain, and she most certainly was not. But she had dominion over what she loved. And once she had completed this ruse with Matías, no one would ever be able to take it from her again.
She could withstand anything in order to ensure that. Anything at all.
She found herself holding her head higher, carrying her shoulders a bit straighter.
Matías put his hand low on her back and ushered her inside, and she felt that touch like lightning. She turned to look at him, her heart racing. No man had ever made her feel like this before. And a moment ago it had made her feel ashamed. It had made her feel as though she was simply one of the scores of women who had fallen prey to his charms before.
An inadequate one, at that. One who could not measure up in terms of beauty or grace.
But none of the other women that he had ever been with before would have matched her for horsemanship. Of that, she was confident.
And perhaps, a man would not find that to be an asset in a lover.
Just thinking the word made her stomach turn over.
Perhaps he would not. She was strong, she was athletic. She knew what her body could do, knew how to test the limits of her physical abilities when it came to doing ranch work.
She would be more than able to do the same in bed with a man.
Her face grew hot, her throat tight and prickly.
That burst of confidence had pushed her mind into strange territory. Or perhaps it was that hand on her body. Perhaps it was simply prolonged exposure to him. Perhaps it was everything. All the changes that had occurred in her life over the past few months.
And perhaps more than anything that time spent dressed as a boy and working at his rancho.
Being so aware of the fact that she was a woman when no one saw her that way. Being so aware that she was a woman when she could not behave like one.
And now she was thrust into this. The spotlight where her beauty, her femininity, was being highlighted in a way it never had been before. Where she was experiencing forced proximity with a man in a way that she had never done before.
Perhaps that was why her thoughts had gone to lovers and bedrooms.
She didn’t want them to go there again.
She simply had to get through the night.
Then tomorrow she would focus on getting through that day. And the next. And the wedding day. And all the days after that until this ended and she got what she truly desired. Which was not Matías, but the ownership of the family rancho. The horses.
She simply had to keep sight of that end goal. That was all.
Matías swept her inside the beautiful, glittering hotel, and she marveled at the surroundings. The marble pillars, the glittering chandelier at the center of the room. And all the people swirling beneath it. Women in swirling pastel dresses, men in sharply cut suits.
To her, all men’s suits looked roughly the same, but no man looked the way Matías did. They all looked domesticated, and somehow, putting Matías in a tuxedo only made him look more dangerous. Only highlighted the fact that in many ways, though he could move in this world freely, it was not his world.
He was like her in that way. Although, her ability to move within this space was up for debate and would continue to be until the evening was finished.
His fingertips brushed her arm as he abandoned her for a moment to procure glasses of champagne for them. Rough hands.
Working man’s hands.
Yes, he might look the part of sophisticated businessman in this environment, but in reality he was part of the ranch. And it was part of him.
It was in his soul, in his blood, for better or worse, and now that she knew so much of the worst, she appreciated it on an even deeper level. Appreciated him, and his drive to possess it. To bend it to his will.
And now she knew the weight of his burden. The trauma he’d experienced and he’d come out the other side so...he cared so very much about what was right.
No one else knew the whole story. No one but her.
It made her feel...so strongly linked to him. To this man who was so different from her. So much more experienced.
But also...so much the same. He loved his land. He loved the horses.
She didn’t want to feel anything for him, but she did. Oh, she did.
He handed her the glass of champagne and she took it in her left hand, lifting it to her lips, and it was then she noticed how her ring sparkled in the light. Her engagement ring. And she was not the only one who noticed the way that it caught the lights.
Suddenly, she felt at least fifty sets of eyes on her, and the discomfort from that chased away some of the feelings that had been wrapping themselves around her heart.
And it was only a moment before a couple made their way to Matías and herself, led by the petite, blonde wife and her much older husband.
“Matías,” the woman said. “I daresay we did not expect to see you here tonight. Not after news of your broken engagement had surfaced. But it appears that you’re here after all. And with a woman. A woman with a ring.”
She looked at Camilla with an expression of speculation, her hands clasped together tightly, reminding Camilla of a praying mantis.
“Yes,” Matías said, his tone smooth. “This is my fiancée, Camilla Alvarez. Her father was the late celebrated trainer Cesar Alvarez. I met her during a business venture and had quite the immediate connection.”
“But up until last week you were engaged to Liliana Hart,” the woman said as though Matías might have forgotten.
“I was indeed. I can only say that Liliana and I were clearly not suited, and she was the one who was brave enough to break things off before they became more permanent. I am thankful that Liliana followed her heart so that I was free to follow mine.”
Matías nodded definitively, clearly pleased to let the conversation end on that note, and swept her away from the couple, taking her champagne glass from her hand and depositing it—along with his—on a passing tray. “I say we take this opportunity to share our first dance,” he whispered, his lips close to her ear, his breath playing havoc over her skin, sending heat rioting through her body.
“Okay,” she said breathlessly, her hands feeling slightly clammy.
“Knowing Señora Gomez, what I said to her will make its way into the paper nearly verbatim. I thought that was a good quote to offer up to the press. And a good chance for us to have our photograph taken.”
He swept her into his arms, and this time, when they began to move, it was in time with music. The strains of the live quartet’s song wound its way around them, but it wasn’t what moved her. It was Matías.
Suddenly, she wished, if only for a night, that this were real. That the words he had spoken to that woman, so greedy for gossip and scandal, were true in some regard.
You don’t want that. You don’t want your life controlled by a man. You don’t want to be bound to someone forever.
She didn’t. Truly. But just for a while, it would be nice to be wanted. To be found beautiful.
She had spent so long not particularly feeling like she was any of those things. And this game they were playing touched the edges of those wounds.