Confused, Julian tried to grasp what Allyn was saying. He had worked on his speech for weeks. He had been asked to deliver it because he was an influential peer, and his speeches were known to sway voters. Now, because of one print, he had become a liability.
‘Perhaps Allyn is right,’ Winter said in a low voice as he leaned forward.
‘Et tu?’
‘Listen to him.’ Winter pointed towards Allyn. ‘This is not an attack on you.’
‘Of course it is,’ Julian said with quiet emphasis.
‘No. It’s about certain men who won’t listen to you because they will be focusing on the possible scandal surrounding you—a man renowned for your moral character—and an unmarried American.’
Scandal.
Bile rose up in his throat. His family had been untouched by scandal for generations. Would he be the one to let their good name fall? He thought of the Fifth Duke—the one who wasn’t fit to have his portrait hung in the gallery. Was that to be his fate?
Clenching his jaw so tightly it might have shattered, Julian shifted his gaze to the row of peers next to him. His pride was crushed. The last thing he needed to see was pity in his friends’ eyes.
‘Fine. You drafted this speech with me—you give it.’ His composure started slipping as he thrust his notes at Winter.
An indecipherable expression passed between his friends, and Allyn gave a brief tip of his head before returning to his seat.
Winter leaned sideways and lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘I suggest you find a way to calm yourself before you draw even more attention your way. You are passionate about your work here. You always have been. But you are not the only one of us who can reach these men and change their minds. You are not a party of one man.’
Julian knew that to be true. But he also knew that the career and reputation he had built for himself was the most important thing in his life. It was the legacy he would leave to future generations. How could he have risked all of it for a few stolen hours with a woman? The problem was, it wasn’t just any woman—it was Katrina. And, although he was chiding himself for being so incredibly foolish, he knew he would recall every minute of those hours they spent together for the rest of his days.
Oh, God, what had he done? He had promised Katrina he wouldn’t do anything to risk her reputation. If only he had been honourable enough to make that so.
His stomach pitched. There was no telling if her reputation was beyond repair until he saw the print.
* * *
Katrina rolled off her wet pillow and stared up at what she knew were blue flowers stitched onto the cream silk that hung from the top of her tester bed. But the image was blurred from the teardrops clinging to her lashes and she rubbed her palms over her eyes. That was better. Now, if she could only concentrate on the details of the flowers and not on the image that had been haunting her for the past four hours...
It was no use. Once more she could see the scandalous caricature of her and Julian—a caricature that announced to all of England that she was a lightskirt. How could she show her face in London Society again?
Agreeing to go for a ride with Julian was probably the most foolish thing she had ever done. Now their time together was surely over, and scandal would follow her.
Her heart ached and she wasn’t sure it would ever be the same. She was such a fool! How could she have thought her feelings would not become engaged? It had happened so gradually there had not been one particular instance. Had there been, she might have had a chance to resist him.
She smothered her face with her pillow and let out a scream. The problem was she cared too much. She cared that right at that very moment he was probably telling himself he was better off without her. He would never want this kind of attention cast his way.
She thought she heard a knock, but she wasn’t certain since she was still squashing the pillow over her head. Tossing it aside, she sat up and looked at her door. There was another knock, and Katrina groaned at the intrusion. It was probably Meg, trying to get her to have some tea. What she really needed was something a bit more fortifying. This would be an excellent time to try the brandy her father kept in his study. Perhaps if she drank enough of it she would forget this day had ever happened.
The knocking grew louder. She slid off the bed and trudged to her door. Opening it slightly, she jumped when a foot encased in gold silk damask pushed its way inside.
‘If you close this door on my new slipper I shall be vexed.’
Katrina closed her eyes and took a deep breath, preparing herself for Sarah. Opening the door wider, she invited her friend inside and locked the door behind them.
Sarah tugged off her white kid gloves and tossed them carelessly onto the rumpled bed. Spinning around, she ran her gaze over Katrina.
Brushing the wetness away from her face, Katrina avoided Sarah’s piercing stare. The last thing she wanted was to see pity in her friend’s eyes.
‘You look as if a bear has sat on your head.’
‘Forgive me. Had I known you were planning on calling I would have been sure to have Meg arrange an elaborate coiffure.’
Sarah made her way over to the window and sat at Katrina’s dressing table. Picking up a brush, she appeared to study the monogram engraved into the silver. ‘If anyone enquires if I have been here this evening, please inform them that you have not seen me.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I was told quite firmly not to disturb you.’
‘By whom?’
Sarah tapped the brush in her palm. ‘My mother. Luckily your very proper English butler has taken a shine to me, otherwise I don’t know when I would have seen you next.’
Katrina trudged back to her bed and sat on the edge across from Sarah. ‘I am not very good company right now.’
‘So I can see. I knew you’d take this to heart. But it might not be as horrid as you think.’
‘Of course it is. That caricature has announced to all of London that I am a woman of loose morals who let herself be compromised in a carriage!’
‘Katrina, those caricatures are meant to be satires. They aren’t meant to be viewed in a literal sense.’
‘I am aware of that, but the implication is there. It’s very humiliating.’ She flopped onto her back and covered her eyes. ‘And I have tried very hard to act in accordance with all the ton’s ridiculous rules.’
The bed dipped as Sarah sat next to her. ‘Anyone who has met you will know that the drawing is a gross exaggeration of your character.’
‘I disagree—many will believe all American women conduct themselves as such.’
‘Some people already had those notions before we even stepped ashore. In time, as more and more American women arrive in England, people here will have a better understanding of our true character.’
Katrina raised herself up on her elbows and her eyes met Sarah’s soft amber gaze. ‘Why is it that I am the one who has garnered all this attention? Madame de Lieven doesn’t pester you. The papers do not write about the gentlemen you dance with, and you have never been the subject of a scandalous caricature.’
‘You are more attractive than I am.’
‘You are simply saying that to try to improve my disposition.’
Sarah’s lip twitched. ‘Yes, that is true. Everyone knows I’m the pretty one.’
Katrina managed to smile before her thoughts turned back to Julian. ‘Lyonsdale