‘I don’t want to put it off,’ Louise said. ‘Then again, I sort of do.’ She was truly confused. ‘God, could you imagine being in a relationship with Anton? He’d be coming home and checking I’d done hospital corners on the bed and things …’
‘He’s nothing like that,’ Emily said.
‘Ah, but you get his hospital bedside manner.’
‘Why not just try?’
‘Because I’ve sworn off relationships, they never work out … I don’t know,’ Louise sighed, and then she looked at her friend and told her the truth. ‘I’m scared to even try.’
‘When’s the maternity do?’ Emily asked.
‘Friday, but I’m on a late shift, so I’ll only catch the end.’
‘If you get changed at work I want to see you before you go.’
‘You will.’ Louise gave a wicked smile. ‘Let’s see if he can rustle up another supermodel.’
‘Or?’
Louise didn’t answer the question because she didn’t know the answer herself. ‘I’ll go and set up the shower for you,’ Louise said instead, and opened Emily’s locker and started to get her toiletries out. ‘What do you want to wear?’
‘Whatever makes me look least like a prostitute,’ Emily said, because, after all, it was Louise who had shopped for her!
‘But you look gorgeous in all of them,’ Louise said, ‘and I promise that you’re going to feel gorgeous too once you’ve had a shower.’
Emily actually did. After more than a week of washing from a bowl, a brief shower and a hair wash had her feeling so refreshed that she actually put on some make-up and her smile matched the scarlet nightdress that Louise had bought her.
‘Wrong room!’ Hugh joked, when he dropped in during a lull between patients, please to see how much brighter Emily looked.
In fact, Emily had quite a lot of visitors and Anton glanced into her room as he walked past.
‘Is she resting?’ Anton asked Louise.
‘I’m going to shoo them out soon,’ Louise said. ‘She’s had her sister and mum and now Hugh’s boss and his wife have dropped in.’
Alex and Jennifer were lovely, just lovely, but Emily really did need her rest and so, after checking in on Carmel, who seemed much calmer since her sleep and a visit from her husband and children, Louise popped in on Emily, dragging the CTG monitor with her.
‘How are you?’ Louise asked.
‘Fine!’ Emily said, but she had that slightly exhausted look in her eyes as she smiled brightly.
‘That’s good.’ Louise turned to the visitors. She knew Alex very well from the five years she had worked in Theatre and she knew Jennifer a little too. ‘I’m sorry to be a pain, but I’ve got to pop Louise on the monitor.’
‘Of course,’ Jennifer said. ‘We were just leaving.’
‘Don’t rush,’ Louise said, while meaning the opposite. ‘I’m just going to get some gel.’
That would give them time to say goodbye.
Of course Emily was grateful for visitors but even a shower, after all this time in bed, was draining, and Louise would do everything and anything she had to do to make sure Emily got her rest. By the time she returned with the gel Alex and Jennifer had said their goodbyes and were in the corridor.
‘How are you, Louise?’ Alex asked. ‘Missing Theatre?’
‘A bit,’ Louise admitted, ‘although I simply love it here.’
‘Well, we miss you,’ Alex said kindly, and then glanced over to the nurses’ station, where Anton was writing his notes. ‘Oh, there’s Anton. Jennifer, I must introduce you—’
‘Not now, darling,’ Jennifer said. ‘We really do have to get home for Josie.’
‘It will just take two minutes.’ Alex was insistent but as he went to walk over, Jennifer caught his arm.
‘Alex, I really am tired.’
‘Of course.’ Alex changed his mind and they wished Louise goodnight before heading off the ward.
Louise looked at Anton, remembering the night of the theatre do and Anton’s stilted response when Alex had said he hadn’t yet met his wife. Even if she and Anton were trying to keep their distance a touch, Louise couldn’t resist meddling.
‘She’s gone,’ Louise said, as he carried on writing.
‘Who?’
‘Jennifer.’
‘That’s good.’
‘She’s nice, isn’t she?’ Louise said, and watched his pen pause for a second.
‘So I’ve heard,’ Anton responded, and carried on writing.
‘Have you met her?’
Anton looked up and met Louise’s eyes, which were sparkling with mischief. ‘Should I have?’
‘I don’t know.’ Louise smiled, all the more curious, but, looking at him, properly looking at him for the first time since he had handed her the referral, she was curious now for different reasons. ‘Why aren’t we talking, Anton?’
‘We’re talking now.’
‘Why are you checking everything I do?’
‘I’m not.’
‘Believe me, you are. I might just as well give you the obs trolley and follow you around and simply write your findings down.’
‘Louise, I like to check my patients myself. It has nothing to do with you.’
‘Okay.’ She went to go but changed her mind. ‘We’re not talking, though, are we?’
He glanced at the sticking plaster on her arm from where she had had blood tests. ‘How was your appointment?’
‘He was very informative,’ Louise said.
‘You’re seeing him again?’
‘In January.’ Louise nodded.
‘May I ask …?’ Anton said, and Louise closed her eyes.
‘Please don’t.’
‘So I just sit here and say nothing?’ Anton checked.
He glanced down the corridor. ‘Come to my office.’
Louise did as she wanted to hear what he had to say.
‘I want to see if we can have a chance and I don’t think we’ll get one with you about to go on IVF.’
‘Oh, so I’m to put all my plans on hold because you now think we might have a chance.’
‘I don’t think that’s unreasonable.’
‘I do,’ Louise said. ‘I very much do. I’ve liked you for months,’ she said, ‘months and months, and now, when I’m just getting it together, when I’m going ahead with what I’ve decided to do, you suddenly decide, oh, okay, maybe I’ll give her a try.’
‘Come off it, Louise …’
‘No, you come off it,’ Louise snapped back. A part of her knew he was right but the other part of her knew that she was. She’d cancelled her dreams for a man once before and had sworn never to do it again and so she went to walk off.
‘You won’t even discuss it?’
‘I need to think,’ Louise said.
‘Think