She shook her head. ‘It’s not what he wants to hear. He doesn’t believe love exists—at least, not for him. I could never tell him. I just can’t.’
There was nothing else to do. He had to prove he loved her by telling her right now just how much. He had to risk having got it wrong, risk making a fool of himself. If he didn’t tell her he loved her now, he’d lose her for ever.
‘Maybe he just has to tell you,’ he said as he looked deep into her eyes, the tears now dissolved and hope glowing from them. ‘Maybe he needs to be bold and admit something he’d never thought possible.’
‘Maybe he does,’ she said as she watched his lips, as if willing him to say it, and his heart began to thump hard with trepidation.
He took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to instil calm into his body. This was the one thing he thought he’d never say. ‘I love you, Emma Sanders. Completely and utterly.’
She closed her eyes, her body relaxed in his embrace and he couldn’t resist her any longer. The temptation to kiss her was too much and he lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. The soft sigh which escaped her did untold things to his body, but passion and desire could wait. This was a kiss of love.
* * *
Emma sighed as Nikolai kissed her, so tenderly it almost made her cry. He loved her. It wasn’t only that he’d told her, but it was the way he was kissing her which proved it more than anything else. This kiss was different. It wasn’t hot and filled with lustful desire that stoked the fire of passion within her. This kiss was very different. It was gentle and, more importantly, it was loving.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, finally allowing all the love she felt to pour from her. He stopped kissing her and pressed his forehead to hers, the gesture so unguarded emotionally she couldn’t say what she wanted to say for a moment.
‘I thought you didn’t want love.’ She smiled, her voice teasing and light.
‘That was before I met you. Everything changed the moment you stepped off that train in Vladimir.’ His eyes were so tender, so filled with love, it was heart-rending and his voice broke with intense huskiness that sent a wave of pleasure breaking over her.
She closed her eyes and revisited the memory of the day they’d met, but even more importantly the knowledge that he had felt something for her from the moment they had met seeped into her. It had been no different for her. There had been something between them from that very first moment at the station in Vladimir, and he’d admitted that had turned to love even before she’d been carrying his child. That could mean only one thing.
‘So our child was conceived out of love, Nikolai.’ She breathed the words against his lips as he once more claimed them in a deep and meaningful kiss, his hands holding her face as if he couldn’t bear not to kiss her.
Around her life went on: voices of people in the park, the ripple of the water beneath them and birds singing their joy of spring all blended into the most perfect backdrop for the moment the man she loved with all her heart confessed his love for her.
As he pulled back from her, she let her palms slide down to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath her right palm, a heart which was filled with love for her. He’d had the courage to admit his love even though he’d been convinced she was going to walk away from him. How had she got it all so wrong?
‘I love you, Nikolai Cunningham—with all my heart.’ She smiled up at him as he smiled back at her, then kissed her tenderly, his lips gentle and loving. She wanted to melt into the moment, enjoy the kiss, but she needed him to know how much his words meant to her. She pushed against his body and pulled away from him, away from the temptation to deepen the kiss.
‘You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. The thought that you were in love with another man has been eating me up for days.’ His deep, sexy voice held a hint of seriousness and she knew it had been hard for him to talk about his feelings, no matter what they were.
‘Is that why you really moved out of the apartment?’ she asked as shyness crept over her. ‘I thought you wanted me out of your life.’
‘Like your father? No, Emma, that will never happen. I figured I needed all the luck I could get after what Jess had said, so didn’t want to tempt fate by flouting tradition. I knew even then I couldn’t risk losing you, but I was too blinded by my past to realise why—that I’d fallen in love with you.’
‘Really?’ She looked up at him to see amusement sparkling in his eyes, mixing with the newly acknowledged love.
‘Yes, but I also wanted you and Jess to have time to catch up and have girl chats about me.’ The laughter in his voice was contagious; she laughed softly and when he stroked her hair back from her face she almost melted all over again.
Then what he’d said finally registered and embarrassment flooded her. ‘You heard us talking?’
How much had he heard? She recalled telling Jess she loved him with all her heart, and she’d meant it, but they wouldn’t be here like this, with the worry of the last few days behind them, if he had truly heard what she and Jess had spoken about.
‘Only a little bit,’ he said and his brows rose, his eyes filling with that sexy amusement that had captured her heart in the first place.
‘Well, you obviously didn’t hear the part where I told Jess I loved you so much that it almost hurt; that marrying you was what I wanted to do,’ she said with an impish smile on her lips, taunting him mercilessly.
The humour left his face. ‘No, I didn’t hear that, but it could have saved me a lot of heartache if I had.’
She laughed softly, wanting to lighten the mood. ‘I’d much rather just tell you myself.’
‘In that case, don’t let me stop you.’ He pulled her against him once more and pressed his lips briefly to hers.
‘I love you, Nikolai, so very much, I just want to marry you. Today.’
‘Is that so?’ he teased. ‘In that case, you are in luck; I have everything planned for a perfect wedding for the woman I love.’
She looked at her watch and let out a shocked gasp. ‘I have to go now. The man I love with all my heart is going to make me his wife and the happiest woman alive. I just hope he’ll be there waiting for me.’
‘I have every faith that he will be, because he’s madly in love with you.’
EMMA PULLED ON an elegant black gown and looked at her reflection. The last time she’d studied herself so intensely had been the day she’d tried on her wedding dress. Now, over a year later, she was a mother to a beautiful little boy and so happy the doubts she’d had in the days before her wedding seemed like a bad dream.
‘As ever, you look amazing, Mrs Cunningham.’ Nikolai kissed the back of her neck and looked into the mirror at her. The usual flood of love for him filled her and she smiled back at him as he continued to compliment her. ‘It will be an honour to escort you to the ballet tonight.’
A quiver of apprehension ran through her as she thought of Jess being given a chance to dance as the lead ballerina so early in her career. ‘I hope Jess isn’t too nervous. This is her first leading role.’
‘And what better place than here in Russia, at its greatest school? She is the rising star of the company. She will have a wonderful life.’ Nikolai’s reassurance helped to quell the nerves she had for Jess and she knew he was right.
Emma still couldn’t believe that Jess was now halfway through her training and already other ballet companies were interested in offering her a place. She had the world at her feet. It was more than she could ever have hoped for her baby sister.
‘I