The shower beckoned. He stripped, hoping the rush of cool water against his sizzling skin might ease the confusing thoughts in his head. But the normally soothing sound of water against tiles gave him space to think… something he needed like a hole in the head.
He was officially broken.
A noise caught his attention. The vibration of his phone against the benchtop, sounding like insects buzzing. Who would be calling him? The guy who managed his office had already told him to butt out until his holiday was officially up. Apparently things were running like clockwork, and he’d told Brodie he sounded as if he hadn’t had any rest at all.
Brodie rubbed his eyes and tilted his face up to the spray. Exhaustion weighed down his limbs. No wonder… He was pretty sure he’d seen each hour tick over on his clock last night.
What if Chantal was calling?
He wrenched at the taps, shutting off the water, and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, checking the ID flashing up on his phone. Of course it wasn’t her. She’d made it damn clear there was nothing between them. That didn’t stop the way his body sprang to action at the thought of her contacting him.
Pathetic.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey, man.’ Scott’s voice boomed over the line. ‘Want to grab a drink?’
The last thing he wanted was to see Scott face to face. His friend would know in an instant that things had gone south. ‘I’m actually having a little time out at the moment.’
‘You’re back in Queensland?’
‘No, not yet.’ He’d been so rattled by the encounter with Chantal that he’d hightailed it back up the coast to Sydney without telling anyone. Not even Scott.
‘Everything okay?’
‘Nothing major,’ he lied, padding to his bedroom.
‘Work problems?’
He paused, unsure how much he wanted to reveal. But Scott’s pushing meant he knew something was up. ‘Not exactly.’
A chuckle came down the line. ‘Let me guess—it starts with C and ends with L.’
‘Spelling was never my strong suit.’ He tried to make light of Scott’s words but it sounded hollow, even to him.
‘What happened?’
‘I don’t know. One minute it was fine—we were fine—and the next…’ He dropped down onto the bed and rubbed his temple with his free hand. ‘It was supposed to be convenient. Fun.’
‘Love is anything but convenient,’ Scott said sagely.
‘I didn’t say I loved her.’
‘Didn’t need to. Why else would you be hiding out?’
Scott had a point. He’d run like a scared little kid, tail between his legs, all because she’d drawn the line at sex. In what universe would he be upset by that? It was guilt-free—for once he didn’t have to be the bad guy.
‘I don’t know if I love her.’
‘Are you feeling miserable?’
‘Yes.’
‘Miserable’ was probably a few notches down from the aching in his chest that had appeared when he’d sailed out of Newcastle that morning.
‘Confused?’
‘Hell, yeah.’
‘Lost?’ Scott didn’t bother waiting for an answer. ‘That’s what love feels like.’
‘It blows.’
Scott laughed. ‘It only blows before you sort things out. Then it’s pretty bloody amazing. Kinda funny how the tables have turned.’
‘I’m not laughing.’
He wanted to throw something—anything that might help him release some of the deadening weight in his limbs. ‘So what’s your plan of attack?’
‘Plan?’
‘To get Chantal back. Jeez—keep up, Brodie.’
And there was the rub. ‘It’s hard to get someone back if you didn’t have them in the first place.’
‘Did you tell her how you felt?’ Scott sounded as though he were explaining something to a dumb animal for the tenth time.
‘Well, no.’
‘Did you even try?’
Brodie groaned inwardly, this was way out of his comfort zone. He was used to being the one giving advice—as he’d done with Scott not that long ago. Why couldn’t he seem to sort out his own situation?
‘I kind of went a little… caveman.’
‘Wow—and you’re wondering why she didn’t give you anything?’
‘She didn’t want it. I could tell.’ He remembered the look in her eyes, almost as if she was pleading with him to leave.
‘She’s got a thing about being independent—you can’t change that.’ Scott sighed. ‘She needs her space.’
‘I know.’
He rubbed a hand over his face. Of course she wanted to be her own person, but that didn’t stop him wanting to protect her. Was it completely hopeless?
‘How did I screw it up so bad?’
‘Is she worth the pain?’
‘Yes.’
The word slipped out before he’d even had time to weigh up possible answers. Uttering that one little word had released the tension from his neck and lifted the heaviness from his shoulders. Was it possible that he was in love with Chantal Turner?
‘What should I do?’
‘Aren’t you supposed to be the lady whisperer?’ Scott teased.
‘I’m lost, man. She makes me question everything and I’ve got no clue what to do next.’
‘What do you do when you wipe out?’
Brodie smiled—he could always count on Scott to put something in his terms. ‘Are you trying to tell me I need to give it another go?’
‘I’m not trying to tell you—I am telling you. I know Chantal is tough. You need to let her know how you feel—she’s not great with ambiguity.’
‘What do I say?’
‘You’ll figure it out. But I would start with an apology. There’s no excuse for going caveman.’
Brodie put the phone down and stared at it long and hard. He would figure it out… But having Chantal meant sacrificing other things. To be with her he would need to be away from his family more. He couldn’t expect her to drop her dreams of being a dancer and move to Queensland with him.
If this thing between him and Chantal was going to work then other things needed to change too.
He reached for the phone and sucked in a huge breath, dialling his father’s number quickly, before he could change his mind.
HIGHWAY SCENERY BLURRED past as Sydney faded away in Chantal’s rearview mirror. Her old car struggled to keep up with the speed limit, but she was moving… and that was all that mattered.
Last night she’d stood tall in