She nodded, before asking quietly, ‘Can I ask when my companions will be joining me?’
‘Didn’t your father tell you? Your companions are to stay at the palace.’
Her eyes widened a fraction.
‘It’s to minimise disruption,’ he lied. ‘When our marriage is over and you return to the palace, they will be ready to resume their duties. In the meantime, I have staff here who will take care of your every need.’
In actual fact, her father’s words had been, ‘She can live with you in your apartment but her personal staff belong to the House of Fernandez. They’re not going anywhere.’ Another thing Nathaniel would not be sharing with her.
‘That is very kind of you.’ Her voice sounded hoarse.
‘You must be tired,’ he said. ‘Let me show you to your room. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the staff in the morning.’
‘I look forward to it.’ Her smile didn’t meet her eyes.
He extended an arm to her. ‘The sleeping quarters are this way.’
Far too aware of her following in his steps, Nathaniel focused his attention on the door at the other side of the living space. Lights came on automatically when he opened it, bathing the large square hallway in warmth.
He opened the door to the right. ‘This is your room. The staff have unpacked your clothes for you in your dressing room. The bathroom is fully stocked but if there’s anything amiss then press the green button by the side of your bed. Frederic has agreed to stay on call for the night. If there’s anything you need, anything at all, press the button and he will come.’ Nathaniel deliberately kept the smooth flow of information going, far too aware that Catalina seemed to have shrunk into herself.
‘Do you have everything you need?’ he asked when he had shown her everything.
Her eyes darted around the room and she nodded.
He headed to the door. ‘In that case, I will say goodnight.’
‘Where are you going?’ They were the first words she’d uttered since she’d entered the room.
‘To bed. It’s been a long day.’
‘But...’ For the first time in all the years he’d known her, real colour heightened her cheeks. ‘Aren’t we going to share a bed?’
‘No.’ The word came out much sharper than he’d intended. He dragged a hand across his jaw. ‘Sleeping together would be asking for trouble.’
‘But no one will believe our child was conceived within marriage if we don’t share a bed.’
‘The whole world already believes this was a shotgun marriage.’ Seeing her eyes cloud over, he added, ‘No one will know of our sleeping arrangements.’
‘Your staff will.’
‘They won’t say a word.’
‘How can you be sure?’
‘They’re loyal to me.’
‘You trust them not to sell us out?’
‘I trust them implicitly,’ he stated firmly. ‘As I said, they’re loyal to me.’
‘You must pay them a fortune for such loyalty.’
‘Loyalty doesn’t have a price.’
‘It does in my world,’ she said with a touch of sadness.
‘This will be your home for the foreseeable future. You don’t have to worry about spies reporting back to your father or Dominic. My staff are discreet and they will take good care of you.’ He opened the door. ‘Goodnight, Catalina.’
‘Goodnight,’ she whispered to the closing door.
HOW MUCH HUMILIATION could one person take?
Catalina blinked back the tears that had been threatening all day, mortification ravaging her.
Nathaniel no longer found her attractive. Whether it was because she was pregnant or because he’d had her once and had no wish to repeat the experience, she didn’t know and she didn’t care. It was the final indignity to add to what had been an awful, horrendous day.
She could already imagine the headlines of the La Belle piece and knew that at some point the text would say the immortal words, ‘best day of her life’.
And yet it had to rank as one of the worst; certainly the worst since the day she’d said goodbye to her mother.
She spun around in this strange room that was to be hers alone. There wasn’t even the pretence of a real marriage. She was going to live as Nathaniel’s wife for a year and he wanted nothing physical to do with her.
Being rejected by Helios had been bad enough, but this...
It was infinitely worse. She hadn’t had any feelings for Helios, whereas her feelings for Nathaniel were all over the place. One minute she wanted to hit him, the next she was yearning to feel his warm, firm lips upon hers again and to rediscover the touch of his hands upon her skin.
She’d prepared herself for emotional distance between them, especially since the opera, but it had never entered her head there would be physical distance too.
A celibate marriage? To one of France’s most notorious playboys?
She could only imagine Dominic’s crowing if he were to discover Nathaniel found her so unattractive he wouldn’t even share a bed with her.
The nausea that had been kept at bay all day suddenly hit her with a vengeance. She only just made it to her bathroom before she brought up the remnants of the little food she’d managed to eat.
Afterwards, she sat on the heated floor tiles and clutched her head. There was a buzzing in her brain making it hard for her to think straight, but think she must.
This apartment was her home for the next year. She couldn’t spend that time sitting on the bathroom floor feeling sorry for herself. Self-pity never changed anything.
Dragging herself to her feet, she looked from the inviting freestanding bath to the walk-in shower section of the bathroom. As she debated which to take, she noticed the toiletries that had been neatly placed on the tray by the bath. They were the exact brands she used at home.
In some small way, Nathaniel was trying to make this easy and painless for her.
She took the lid off the bubble bath and sniffed, feeling better with the familiar scent in her nose. And then she caught sight of her reflection.
She wouldn’t be able to have a bath or a shower if she didn’t get out of her wedding dress. The only problem was how she would do that.
For a fortnight she’d let her secret thoughts dart to places she should never have allowed them to go; to a place where Nathaniel had been the one to take the dress off for her. She had imagined the scenario in detail.
Did helping her out of her wedding dress count as something Frederic was supposed to deal with? Surely not. Her companions had always been the ones to help her. She could never ask a man.
Should she ask Nathaniel?
Absolutely not. She didn’t have to give him another excuse to reject her.
And just like that, the calm she’d found with the scent of the bubble bath evaporated and anger pushed its way through.
She was a fully grown woman but as helpless as a child. She’d been raised this way. It hadn’t been her choice.
Well,