‘I’m just about to make a coffee. Would you like one?’ He nodded towards the kitchen.
‘Sure, thanks.’
While Ben set about making their drinks Eva ambled through to the dining room, which Ben was clearly using as a makeshift office. The table was covered in papers and books. She glanced at the sheets of paper filled with calculations and indecipherable scrawls. She picked up a paper lying on top, her eyes drawn to the heading – Causal Probabilities in Quantum Field Theory. Wow. Not only did Eva find it impressive and intimidating that Ben understood that; she also found something slightly intoxicating about it.
Ben appeared at her side and handed her a mug. ‘That’s the seminar this afternoon,’ he said casually nodding to the paper.
Eva tried to think of an intelligent question but failed miserably. ‘Causal probabilities … so what’s that exactly?’
‘The question of causality asks whether or not your theory respects the laws of special relativity – the laws of space and time. If your theory isn’t causal then you could have all sorts of weird things happening, one event affecting another before light has had the chance to propagate between them … In the movies it’s called time travel.’ He glanced at her and smiled lopsidedly. ‘Sorry. I can get a bit carried away.’
Eva shook her head, putting the paper back down. ‘That’s all right, I’m afraid it’s just not something I can easily get my head around. But it does make me feel slightly inadequate.’
‘Are you kidding? You should never feel inadequate,’ he said forcefully. ‘You run your own business, bring up your son. And look at all your practical skills – you know about heating systems, plumbing, decorating – I reckon that’s pretty impressive.’
She regarded him over the rim of her mug. ‘You don’t look like a scientist, or at least how I imagine one to look.’
‘And how would that be?’ He returned her gaze, his eyes glittering.
‘I don’t know. A cloud of mad white hair, a crumpled lab coat, glasses.’
‘I can wear glasses if you like.’ The look he gave her sent a flash of heat up and down the length of her body and she struggled to make her voice sound normal.
‘So um, how did you get into physics?’
‘I suppose it was my dad really. He used to take me to the natural history museum in London when I was very young. One time there was this exhibition about the moon landing and I just remember something inside me come alive, you know. Something really caught my imagination. And I was lucky I had a good physics teacher at school who really encouraged me.’
Eva remembered how patient Ben had been with Jamie with his maths homework and thought he must be a good teacher. It must be nerve-racking to stand up in front of a classroom of students but presumably he was used to it.
‘So where did you teach before St Andrews?’
He didn’t answer immediately. Instead he moved to the table and Eva saw his shoulders tensing as he gathered papers. ‘I haven’t taught for the past five years. I’ve been working in the city as a financial analyst.’
Eva frowned, not understanding. ‘Do you mean you were a banker?’
He nodded. Like everyone, Eva had heard the stories about big money and city trading. Weren’t they ruthless and greedy? She’d registered his expensive car in the driveway, and the quality of his few pieces of furniture was unmistakable but apart from that there had been nothing showy or ostentatious about him that she could see. Eva had simply assumed he had always been a physics teacher.
‘So, why did you get into banking?’
‘The same reason anyone does. Money,’ he replied dryly.
Eva closed her eyes briefly, memories of her father flitting into her mind. He’d always looked so worn out, working such long hours and for what? They were able to live in a lovely house, have holidays, and buy nice things. But Eva was convinced it was the relentless pressures of work that caused his heart attack, and she would have traded any of the material things for him to still be alive. Affording nice things in life was fine but not at any cost. Eva tried to live by and instil in Jamie a sense of values not based on money.
Up until now, she’d thought of Ben as a scientist, a teacher. She liked that he was clever, could apply his mind to higher matters and let’s face it, she found his intelligence incredibly sexy. Knowing he’d been a city trader surprised her and not in a good way.
‘So um, what exactly did you do?’
‘I worked for an investment bank,’ he sighed.
‘What did that involve?’
He gave a wry smile, before answering. ‘On a good day working fourteen hours … on a bad day, longer.’
‘And you enjoyed that?’ Eva didn’t intend her tone to sound so harsh and judgemental but it was too late; the mood had shifted and she saw Ben’s expression change. He looked at her, a nerve twitching in his jaw, and she felt herself flinch under his gaze. Eva didn’t know whether to be thankful or not when she heard loud rapping at the front door.
‘Oh, that’ll be Gary. I’ll get it’
‘Fine. I should go and get ready,’ he said, turning to go.
‘Of course, sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you up.’
Eva opened the door to find Gary on the doorstep looking his usual cheery self.
‘Hi, Eva.’
Wearing overalls and carrying the tools of his trade, Gary was one of Jamie’s football coaches at the weekend but a plasterer by trade. He had been recommended to Eva when she’d first moved into her house. They chatted for a few minutes as Gary set himself up and started to mix the plaster. Eva watched as he handled the plaster using his trowel and hawk. He worked rhythmically and quickly, making it look easy as he used broad strokes to cover the surface of the ceiling.
Eva suddenly felt miserable, not sure what had passed between her and Ben just now but certain she had antagonized him in some way. She shouldn’t have shown her distaste for his job in the city. Who was she to pass judgement – it had nothing to do with her. But she couldn’t deny it, discovering he had worked in the city she felt a stab of disappointment. She gave herself a shake and picked up the bucket to fill with hot water from the kitchen so she could start to give the floor a clean.
As she passed through the hall, the doorbell rang and with Ben upstairs, Eva decided to answer it. She swung the door open to a young woman. Slim, heavily made-up, and with the shiniest hair she’d ever seen. Eva’s eyes darted to her bright red nails wrapped around a bottle of champagne. Clearly not expecting Eva to answer the door, her posed smile fell for a second before she recovered.
‘Hi, I’m here for Ben?’
‘He’s –’ Eva started to speak but the woman didn’t wait; instead she barged in past Eva just as Ben appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He had changed into navy trousers and a white shirt and looked so painfully handsome Eva wanted to cry. He glanced uneasily at Eva and then at his guest. Eva felt herself shrink. Never before had she felt self-conscious in her dungarees. They were comfortable; they were practical. But she looked like a workman she thought miserably. She hadn’t even washed her hair today.
‘Hello, Kat. You’re early.’ Ben’s tone was cool and Eva bit her lip, sensing their earlier conversation must have really irritated him.
‘Hi, Ben. I thought you might want to show me round your new house before we go. You didn’t tell me it was so big!’ She looked around and turned to Eva and briefly looked her up and down. ‘And you have decorators in – how lovely.’
Ben looked awkwardly over at Eva. ‘Actually, this is –’ He started to speak but his visitor gave him no chance to finish and instead