‘So could you teach me to play chess?’ Jamie’s face shone with enthusiasm. Ben looked slightly taken aback for a moment, perhaps not expecting such an instant response.
‘Jamie! You can’t just ask like that – I’m sure Ben’s too busy.’ Eva threw an apologetic look to him but he seemed keen.
‘No, I’d love to – I used to really enjoy playing.’
Eva smiled in appreciation at his offer, knowing anything to do with sports or games was a no-brainer as far as Jamie was concerned. With the maths homework completed, Jamie shut his jotter with a resounding thump and the conversation moved easily to football.
‘What position do you play?’ Ben asked.
‘Usually forward: that’s where I like best.’
‘Yeah? So do you score many goals then?’
‘A few but I’m more of a winger – I like to set ’em up.’
‘I was more of a rugby man myself. I played for my university up until a few years ago, played in an amateur league and we did all right …’
Eva sneaked a look at Ben, matching his physique to the knowledge he played rugby making perfect sense. She pulled the pizzas from the oven thinking how nice this all was. Homework done and now football talk – almost too good to be true, she mused, rolling the cutter along the pizza base and hearing a sudden warning alarm sound in her head.
She recognized a small part of her was feeling defensive, as if she had allowed Ben into her inner sanctum. And while she was happy to have him here, saw how much Jamie was enjoying it, at the same time she didn’t want him getting used to something that wouldn’t always be there. She told herself not to read too much into it. Jamie certainly wouldn’t and they were going to be living next door to each other after all; they should all get along.
‘These look great.’ Ben rubbed his hands together as Eva served up. She had introduced the idea of home-made pizzas to try to get Jamie interested in cooking. He got to choose the different toppings on the proviso he helped prepare them. Tonight, he had grated the cheese and sliced the mushrooms. A satisfied silence fell as they all tucked in. It was new and strange sharing food in their kitchen with Ben whom they’d only known a matter of days. But it didn’t feel wrong or uncomfortable, Eva realized. Jamie, through a mouthful of food, suddenly decided to bring up the activity weekend.
‘Mum, have you made up your mind if I can go on the trip?’
‘Er, not yet.’ She narrowed her eyes at Jamie – not a topic she would have chosen to bring up now but had to admire her son for seizing his opportunity in front of Ben.
Eva could only watch helplessly as Jamie picked up the leaflets that had been piled to one side of the table and started to show Ben the promotional glossy photos of picture-perfect moments of children swinging from ropes or about to jump into water pools, their faces beaming.
‘Okay, Jamie. I’m sure Ben’s seen enough now,’ Eva interjected after what felt like an interminable time, asking him to clear the table.
‘That was really great, thanks,’ Ben enthused. Eva was glad he appeared to really enjoy his food.
‘Can I go upstairs and play on my game now?’ Jamie asked once he’d finished his duties.
‘Go on then but only half an hour on a school night. And can you take Hamish up with you please?’ All during the meal Hamish had been sniffing about under the table, Eva gently shoving him away with her foot hoping Ben wouldn’t notice. Jamie thanked Ben for helping him.
‘Does that mean you can you help with my homework from now on? Mum’s pretty rubbish at maths,’ Jamie cheerfully told Ben as Eva’s face flushed. True, she was useless at maths but that didn’t mean she necessarily wanted it broadcast in front of Ben. She shuddered to think how easy he must have found Jamie’s level of maths. If truth be told Eva had been struggling with Jamie’s maths since the end of primary school.
‘I’d be happy to help but only if that’s okay with your mum?’
Eva felt Ben’s eyes regard her earnestly and she experienced a wave of gratitude that he’d respected her role. ‘As long as you don’t mind then it’s fine with me. Thanks.’
As Jamie and Hamish made their way noisily upstairs, Ben picked up the leaflets again from the outdoor activity centre at Ardentinny and read through some of the activities that Jamie had been so eager to show him. Eva must have read the leaflets a hundred times, scrutinizing every printed word. She had googled them, read reviews, and still couldn’t find a single thing that indicated it would be anything other than a fantastic and safe experience for her son. Ben regarded her, one eyebrow raised.
‘I take it you’re not too keen?’
‘Is it that obvious?’
‘It sounds like fun.’
‘Sure, if you like rock climbing, gorge walking, and generally endangering your life.’ She knew she sounded prickly.
‘I can’t think of many boys his age who wouldn’t,’ he replied reasonably.
Eva let out a sigh. ‘I know I have to let him go. It’s just – I find it difficult. I get scared something terrible will happen to him if I’m not there.’ The words had tumbled out before she’d even realized she had admitted her fears to Ben, leaving her feeling exposed in some way.
‘I can understand.’
‘You can?’ she asked surprised.
‘Well, obviously not as a parent. But I can remember my mum worrying about me especially after my father died. At the time it was a pain. But as you get older, you appreciate how precious that love is from a parent. I’m sure he will be okay,’ he said gently, holding her gaze for a moment before Eva blinked and looked down to sweep an invisible crumb from the table.
She wasn’t sure she wanted him to sound so understanding. It made her think what it be like to have someone else, to have that other voice in her life to reassure her. It wasn’t a luxury she often allowed herself. There was a small, mildly awkward pause before Ben drained his glass and spoke.
‘Anyway, thanks for the pizzas. They were delicious.’
‘Well thank you for helping with Jamie’s homework. Are you sure you don’t mind helping him? And teaching him to play chess? I hope you don’t feel cajoled into anything – Jamie can get a bit carried away. I’d understand if you didn’t want to or didn’t have time.’
‘Honestly, I don’t mind at all – in fact, I’ll enjoy it. Apart from my work at the university, I don’t have any other commitments,’ Ben told her.
Whilst reassured he seemed genuinely eager to help, Eva wondered if she should be directing the question more to herself as a warning. As lovely as it was seeing her son getting on so well with Ben, the alarm bell was ringing again, asking how wise it was letting Jamie get too close to Ben. For now, she put the worry aside.
‘I’ll put the kettle on. Would you like a coffee?’ She stood up but Ben held up his hand.
‘Please, let me make it for you.’
‘Oh. Thanks. But you know what I’d really like? A cup of tea.’
‘I think I can just about handle that.’ After a few pointers from Eva, Ben filled the kettle on and found mugs.
‘This makes a nice change. Jamie’s happy to help with pizza but he doesn’t seem so keen to master the art of making his mum a cup of tea.’
‘Sounds like a typical boy,’ Ben observed with a lopsided smile.
‘I guess so.’
While Ben made tea, Eva gathered the details of a heating engineer and a plumber she had put aside to give to Ben. She passed them over to him when he rejoined her at the table.
‘This