With the tea tray now complete, Helen carried it over to Eva and after a brief inspection of the shortbread biscuits, graced her daughter with a fleeting smile.
‘Take this through please, darling,’ she said handing over the tray. Eva did as she was told and headed through to the formal dining room where Helen insisted on serving lunch. Heavy cream and gold curtains framed the French doors, which looked out onto the garden, and a rich brocade tablecloth hung over the polished dark wood table where Eva now placed the tray.
‘Hello, Eva.’
Eva turned to the sound of her sister’s voice. Wearing a crisp white shirt and smart grey trousers and clutching her iPhone, Sarah Devine looked as if she had taken the wrong turning for a business meeting. Beside her, Eva always managed to feel slightly shabby – like the poor relation who had rolled up in skinny jeans and a baggy jumper.
‘Hi, Sarah, how are you?’ Eva smiled, hesitating for a moment before going over for an awkward embrace.
‘Fine. And you?’
‘Oh you know, the usual,’ she replied overbrightly. ‘Jamie should be in any minute. He’s out in the garden.’
‘I’ve seen him. He introduced me to your new dog.’
‘You met Hamish? He’s pretty cute, don’t you think?’
Sarah looked at her and raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you think getting a dog was a good idea?’
Eva felt a pain start to throb in her head. No, it probably wasn’t a good idea, she wanted to scream. But she had done it anyway, for Jamie. Eva wondered if her sister ever made an emotional decision or whether everything in her life was calculated on a spreadsheet.
Eva smiled tightly. ‘Well, Jamie loves him and its fun having a dog around the house.’ Helen suddenly bustled in, carrying more plates, followed by Jamie.
‘Mum! Look what Aunt Sarah got me!’ His face a picture of unadulterated joy, he waved an Xbox game in the air: the exact one Eva had planned on giving him as a special Christmas present. Eva swallowed down a burst of anger at her sister. Sarah hadn’t seen her nephew in months – she probably didn’t even know he had started high school, but in typical style had bought him an expensive present. Couldn’t she just spend some time with him, take him to the cinema or something?
‘That was very generous of her,’ Eva said pointedly.
‘It was nothing.’ Sarah waved her hand casually. Eva took a deep breath and asked Jamie if Hamish was now in the car.
‘Yup. And I washed my hands,’ he replied.
Now they were all seated at the table, Helen beamed at everyone. ‘Isn’t this nice? Tuck in, everyone!’
Jamie’s eyes hungrily scanned the table and Eva saw his face fall. Plates filled with dainty finger food – quartered sandwiches, scones, and biscuits. Neat tidy food, thought Eva, designed not to leave crumbs. Not like the big spilling-over-the-edge pots of food she made at home. Eva watched her mother’s precise delicate movements as she nibbled a sandwich and then glanced over at Sarah who was sipping her tea, barely touching the food.
Eva could swear her mother and sister looked more alike every time she saw them, almost as if they were morphing into the same person, with their neat ice-blonde hair and slender frames. Eva’s wavy darker hair and curvier figure only made her feel more of an outsider than she already did. Only the distinctive green eyes they all shared gave any indication the three women were related. Lost in thought, Eva realized her mother was talking to her.
‘You remember Gail Worthington from my book club?’ Eva didn’t but nodded anyway. ‘Her daughter Sarah is getting married next year. She’s almost forty you know, just goes to show you – it’s never too late!’
‘That’s nice,’ Eva replied blandly, presuming the implication being that at thirty-four she still had loads of time to ‘find someone’.
‘But of course I don’t suppose you’re likely to meet anyone nice in your line of work are you, darling?’ Helen asked doubtfully.
‘I meet lots of nice people. I had a professional golfer stay this summer – he took Jamie for a round of golf.’
‘A professional golfer?’ Helen’s face lit up with interest.
‘Yes, he was lovely. And so was his wife.’ Eva suddenly felt mean, but it always vexed her that her mother seemed intent Eva had to be married off yet somehow it was okay for Sarah to be single, presumably because she had a high-flying career. Of course she felt lonely at times and wished she had someone to share things with. But she also knew if a man ever were to become part of her life again he would have to be so special that he probably didn’t exist.
Eva would never admit that to her mother though. No single man in a hundred-mile radius would be safe. Eva almost laughed out loud imagining her mother’s reaction if she knew about the handsome physicist now living next door to her.
‘And how is the big school, Jamie?’
‘S’okay.’ He shrugged.
‘What’s your favourite subject?’
‘PE,’ Jamie replied brightly.
‘Mmmm.’ Helen smiled demurely before continuing. ‘But you need to work hard at all your subjects, you know. Have you thought yet about what you want to do when you leave school? Things are so competitive these days.’ She gave a knowledgeable nod as Jamie looked over to Eva, unsure how to respond.
Eva almost choked on her tea, hardly believing she was hearing the same words that were recited to her over and over when she was in high school.
‘I think first year is more about finding his feet and settling in rather than making any career plans,’ Eva said through gritted teeth before glancing over at Jamie and giving him a reassuring smile. Of course she wanted him to do well in school but she would never make him feel that was the measure of a successful or happy life.
A silence hung over the table, the only sound Jamie munching his way through most of the food. Eva reached for a scone and spread a thick layer of butter and jam on it before taking a huge bite.
She glanced over at Sarah whose eyes kept flitting to the screen on her precious phone. Eva felt like shouting at her not to be so rude. She wouldn’t tolerate Jamie having any electronic gadgets at the table. Eva didn’t see why she should be allowed to exclude herself from the conversation and decided it was time she joined in.
‘So, Mum says you’re working on a big case just now?’
Sarah looked up from her iPhone. ‘That’s right.’
‘So what’s it about?’
‘It’s complicated.’ She exhaled. ‘Basically a private equity group is suing a law firm for negligence. The case is worth about ten million.’
Eva bristled at her condescending tone. Okay, so her job was important but did she have to act so superior about it?
‘Sounds fascinating,’ Eva said dryly. Sarah ignored her and smiled at Helen instead.
‘Oh, Mum, I changed a few things about in my diary so I’ll be able to take you to the chiropodist on Wednesday.’
‘This Wednesday?’ Eva jumped in. ‘I could take you, Mum. What time is it at?’
Helen shook her head. ‘No it’s fine. Sarah’s taken me before so she knows where to go.’
Eva bit her lip thinking nothing had changed. Ever since they were little girls Sarah had always sought their mother’s approval. Eva