She had a lot of planning to do, Eloise knew. But if she took nothing else away from her encounter with Noah Cross, she would have this: she wasn’t afraid of the spotlight any more.
How could she be? After all, it couldn’t ever get worse than this. And that thought was strangely liberating.
The string quartet at the front of the ceremony room started a new piece and Melissa gave a little squeal. ‘It’s time!’
‘Good luck,’ Laurel whispered as they lined up in their assigned order. ‘I’m going to head in and watch from the front.’
Eloise nodded to show that she’d heard her, but otherwise kept her focus on the task at hand. All she had to do was get through the rest of the day, and then she could fall apart and start again. Just another ten hours until the clock ticked past midnight and they entered a whole new year.
A fresh start. Just what she needed.
The doors opened and Eloise took her first careful, measured step, her bouquet held up at just the right height, right foot first, as instructed.
They’d opted to hold the ceremony in the old ballroom—one of the few rooms inside the hotel that retained some of the original Gothic charm. The high, peaked windows let in the winter light through thick glass, glinting off the displays of bright white flowers on every sill. The chairs the hotel staff had laid out in neat rows were now filled with the rich and famous, and at the end of the long aisle stood the celebrant, flanked by Riley, the groom, and Noah. The best man. The only man for her.
And the one man she was certain she could never have.
Eloise concentrated on her breathing as she made her way steadily down the long aisle, ignoring the whispers and muffled laughs around her. Then she heard the gasps and ‘ah’s as she reached the halfway point and knew that Melissa had made her entrance too. Nobody cared about Noah Cross’s fling any more. Melissa was the main attraction—just as she should be, and just as she’d wanted.
Eloise was more than happy to give up this spotlight to her.
As she approached the celebrant, Noah turned at last and she focused on not losing control as she saw his face. He didn’t look like his life had just been ripped apart—probably because it hadn’t.
Was it really all just an act for him? All that they’d shared, could it really have only been a means to an end? She didn’t want to believe it, but maybe she should. He was an actor. He was everything she’d always suspected he would be. Even all he’d shared about Sally—maybe it was just a sob story designed to get her into bed.
Except she’d already been in bed.
And except that it had felt real.
Eloise might not be very well acquainted with love, but now she’d felt its effects, a small part of her couldn’t give up the hope that maybe he felt it too.
Noah looked right at her and Eloise dropped her gaze. She couldn’t let him see how badly he’d hurt her. Despite everything, she still had her pride.
But then something made her glance up again to study his face, just for a moment—and she knew.
Noah Cross was a brilliant actor. But even he couldn’t out-act love.
The only problem was, love didn’t make a blind bit of difference if he wouldn’t let himself feel it. He probably didn’t even know himself.
Which meant that Eloise was no better off than she’d been when he’d left her bereft that morning. In fact, she might be worse.
Because now she knew that both of them were going to lose what might have been the most important thing in their lives.
* * *
The ceremony was excruciating. Not just watching Melissa and Riley pledge undying love, when everyone in the room knew it probably wouldn’t last five years. In fact, when he’d arrived there had been someone at the back of the room giving odds.
Noah hadn’t placed a bet. He didn’t bet on love these days.
No, the worst part had been the way Eloise wouldn’t meet his eyes—except for the one brief moment when she’d frowned at him, as if seeing something she didn’t expect. He’d wanted to ask her what she thought she’d seen, what depth she thought he’d sunk to now. But the room was full of eyes and, besides, even if they hadn’t been in the middle of a wedding, he’d given up that right when he’d walked out on her that morning.
‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...’ The celebrant droned on, using the movie script version of the wedding ceremony that Noah suspected they’d paid extra for. This wasn’t a marriage, wasn’t a declaration of love. It was the ultimate act—a chance for Melissa and Riley to show the rest of the world what they didn’t have, not realising how much more some couples did have. True love. A connection that couldn’t be broken by failing box office receipts. A partner they could rely on. Someone to grow old and grey with, not plan plastic surgery with.
Someone who saw into their soul, and loved them anyway.
He bit the inside of his cheek to force himself to stop thinking about it, as he handed the rings over to Riley. What did it matter to him how shallow this whole day was? It wasn’t as if he was searching for anything deeper. He wasn’t even willing to get as far as a third date, let alone the altar. He had no moral high ground here.
Suddenly, the room erupted into applause and Noah realised he’d missed the ‘I do’s and everything that went with them. Moments later, they were all parading back out of the ballroom, ready to have photographs taken to immortalise this very special day in print and online, while the rest of the guests got to eat canapés.
He wanted to go and stand by Eloise, to tell her jokes until she looked less...absent. She looked as if she’d mentally checked out of the whole day already. Not that he could blame her. He’d heard enough of the talk that morning—and, as expected, it was all about her. No one expected anything else from him, he supposed.
No, even if she didn’t just slap him the moment he got close, he couldn’t do anything to make this day any harder for her. It just felt wrong, watching her try to fade into the background, to disappear at the celebrity wedding of the year. She belonged in the spotlight, whatever she believed. She was so vibrant, so bright, so real. That was what the world should be looking at, not the superficial and the showy.
The world should be looking at Eloise the way he was. As if she was the most important person on the planet. She deserved no less.
He wanted the world to see what real love looked like. Not fake Hollywood romance like Melissa and Riley’s. Not him and whichever woman he took out that night. Real love—the sort that had shone out of Eloise like a holy truth that morning, when she’d told him she loved him.
The world should see that. And they should see it returned. They should see the truth of his feelings—the way his soul felt lighter when she smiled at him, the way his life lit up when she was beside him, the way he could tell her anything, could admit anything and still be loved...
The way he loved her.
He loved her.
His skin felt tight, his blood too hot, as if the words might explode out of him at any moment, right there in the middle of the wedding photos.
He was so crazily in love with Eloise Miller it might have actually driven him mad. And the thought of leaving without her ever knowing that...
He knew he should. She deserved better—someone with less scar tissue, fewer war wounds from love. And, whatever he felt, he didn’t know if he could do it. Didn’t know if he could take that risk and give everything, fall that deep and risk drowning in love.
But suddenly he knew he had to try.
* * *
In all