Magic.
To start with, she’d been in control. At the first sign of stinging behind her eyes or wetness on her lashes she’d locked it down—even when Blake had got her talking about Julie. But it was impossible now, as she stared at the courageous little poppet and the man who held her in his arms.
The man Hope had fallen in love with. She was sure of it now.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as, for the first time since she was eighteen, she let her heart out of its prison. She wept for the girl she’d been, and the one she’d become. She cried for Julie and the loss of someone who’d been more than a friend. And her heart cracked as she thought of Blake. He’d seen past it all to the truth of her—something she hadn’t even been able to see in herself. And now he was there and she was here.
She heard again the words she’d said to him that last night and felt the heavy weight of regret. She hadn’t been fair, and he’d been right all along.
After she’d mopped up her eyes and washed her face, she picked up the phone in the quiet house and dialed Blake’s number.
“Hello?”
It was a woman’s voice—probably his mother, already in from Arizona.
“Hello, is Blake there?”
“I’m sorry, he’s out. Can I leave a message?”
She paused. What could she say? Tell him Hope called was too little. Anything more was too much.
“No—no message, thank you,” she said, her voice faltering as she put the receiver down.
She stared at the phone for a few minutes and then took a deep breath. Okay. So it wasn’t going to be fixed today. She could accept that. She had to accept it. Right now she needed to get ready and head downtown to the festivities, enjoy the time the family had together. Faith would be here later, and after this morning’s peacemaking session with Grace it would be good to hang out.
But when she got back she was going to call the airline and switch her ticket. She was going back to Alberta and she was going to face her feelings rather than run away. Everything after that she would take as it came.
* * *
The batteries in her camera had run out and a check of the camera bag had come up empty. Rather than stand in line at the drugstore, Hope walked the extra few blocks home to grab a new set.
She’d enjoyed the day. The variety of food had been staggering—including the chowder lunch she’d had at the Steaming Mug. The spiced cider had been piping hot, the decorations had been splendid, and the children’s activities had put a smile on her face. And yet it had all left her feeling a little down, too, because each time she saw a couple pass by holding hands she wished Blake were there to share it with her.
He’d love this sort of thing—a real sense of togetherness and holiday spirit. Hope had spoken to the few journalists in town, covering the events, and she was proud of what J.C. and Grace had accomplished. Grace was a writer and Hope took pictures. It was better late than never—maybe they could do something together about Beckett’s Run.
She shut the front door behind her and heard the porch board squeak beneath her feet. Smiling, she’d turned to go down the steps when she saw someone standing at the end of the driveway.
She looked up and everything in her body seemed to drop to her feet, then rebound to fill her whole body with joy.
He came.
Blake Nelson was here in Beckett’s Run, dressed in boots and jeans and a soft sheepskin jacket and his hat. The brown cowboy hat made him seem impossibly tall and, yes, even a touch exotic, and she swallowed, thinking he looked absolutely gorgeous.
Anything she’d thought of saying to him deserted her. All her apologies were jumbled in her head. All her proclamations seemed small and paltry next to the reality that he’d flown all the way to New England on Christmas Eve and shown up on her doorstep.
He took a step through the snow, and another, and when he was close enough for her to hear him clearly he stopped.
“I don’t want to fix you,” he said.
The air stilled between them, carrying only the faint sound of music coming from downtown and the soft plop of clumps of snow dropping off cedar branches.
“I don’t want to fix you, Hope. I love you just the way you are.”
It was like she could suddenly hear the “Hallelujah Chorus” in her head. She slowly dropped her camera bag and went down one step, then another. He took one step forward, then a second. A smile blossomed on her face and she was rewarded when he smiled back, slightly sideways as his scar pulled at his lip. It didn’t matter. She adored the roguish tilt to it.
When she reached him she stopped and tilted her face up to his. “You came.”
“I had to. I shouldn’t have let you go in the first place. It was all wrong from the moment you left. I knew I’d made a terrible mistake.”
“So you came after me?”
He put his gloved hand on her collar, squeezing the inside of her shoulder. “It was high time someone did.”
Oh, he did get it! She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. It had been so long since she’d felt she was first in someone’s life.
“It wasn’t trying to be perfect that made me put up walls,” she whispered, holding him tight. “It was wanting to feel like I mattered. No matter what I did I never felt like anyone thought I was important enough to waste time on. Never thought anyone would ever think enough of me to stay, you know? Gram was the only anchor I had.”
“Now you have me,” Blake said softly, wrapping his arms around her. “No matter what happens between us, Hope, you’ll have me. Because I know you matter. You matter to me. More than you can imagine.” He gazed into her eyes, his wide and earnest. “I didn’t say it right that night on the sleigh. I’m not sure I’ll say it right now. I know you’re scared. I know this is crazy. But I didn’t expect to feel this way. You were right. I don’t even think I knew I was doing it. I was afraid. I am afraid. Of loving someone so much and losing them.”
“So what changed?”
“You drove away and I’d lost you anyway. Lost you and missed out on all the wonderful things we might have had. I couldn’t let you go—not when I’d found what I’d been looking for all along.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I realized that you need to hang on to wonderful things in life with both hands when you have the chance. So they don’t get away.”
He gripped the sleeves of her coat in his fingers and gazed deeply into her eyes.
“With both hands.”
“Oh, Blake.”
He wasn’t sure of her. She got that now. And why should he be? She hadn’t been sure herself until this morning—until she’d been without him and seen the reminder of all she’d left behind. She stood on tiptoe, feeling utterly feminine for once, and not like the awkward beanpole who’d been too shy to take the initiative. She tilted her head and kissed him. Really kissed him—without hesitation, without reserve. He angled his head and her hand bumped his hat, knocking it to the ground, but they didn’t stop. Not until the kiss had settled from a question into a certainty. He could be in no doubt of her feelings now.
“We can make it work,” he said, holding her close. “I know we can somehow...”
“I was going to change my ticket this afternoon anyway,” Hope said, grinning. “I was going to come back after Christmas. I wasn’t sure what would come after that, but I knew that yesterday couldn’t really be goodbye.”
“You were?”
She nodded. “I had a rather interesting