And in that moment Hope realized something strange and important. She envied her youngest sister. She admired her. Grace had never been burdened by the responsibility of keeping the family together. It showed in the way she lived her life—on her terms and with no apologies. Grace, of all of them, was the most courageous.
Hope had never been that brave. And it showed.
“Hope? You still there?”
“I’m here.”
Faith’s voice was serious again. “Are you okay, really? You never call like this.”
“I just got to thinking about when we were kids and stuff. We had some good times, right? Especially at Gram’s. I was pretty put off by being told I had to go home for Christmas, but I’m sort of looking forward to it now. How about you?”
There was a pause, and then Faith sighed again. “Hope, there’s something you should know before you fly home.”
Alarm bells started ringing in Hope’s head. “What is it?”
“It’s Mom. It seems she...and Dad are both in Beckett’s Run for the holidays.”
Hope didn’t miss the pause before the word dad. It had always been really hard for Faith once she’d found out that she had a different father from her two sisters. It had been the nail in the coffin of her parents’ marriage, really. The moment that their father—Greg—had finally had enough.
“That must be tense,” she managed to say.
“Apparently not as tense as you’d think.”
Faith’s voice held an implication that was startling. Hope sat back and let that tidbit of news sink in. Their parents were actually getting along?
“I’m glad you called,” Faith continued. “This way you’ve got a heads up.”
The line was silent for a moment or two. Did Hope want to open the Pandora’s Box that was their relationship with their parents? She closed her eyes and pressed her hand to her forehead. Not tonight. It was too complicated. They’d be on the phone for hours.
“Does Grace know?”
“I don’t know.”
Another telling pause. Hope wondered what Faith thought of it all. And Grace... The three girls were so different. But they all bore the scars of their inconsistent childhood in their own way.
“Faith, listen. I just wanted to call and say...” Say what, exactly? It was going to sound stupid and emotional, and that wasn’t Hope’s style.
“Say what, Hope?”
“That I’m sorry. I gave up on the family and I shouldn’t have. I wish we’d stayed closer, you know? We’re sisters.” She thought of Blake and Brad. They wouldn’t have another chance. But Hope did.
“You tried too hard, that’s all.” Faith’s voice was warm and reassuring. “You tried to step into Mom’s shoes and we resented you for it.”
“Not you. You were never as hard to handle as Grace.”
“I just handled it differently. I quit playing peacemaker and walked away. I’m as much to blame as you, Hope.”
Hope’s lower lip trembled as the simple words of truth touched her heart. “I think it’s going to be good to see you this Christmas.”
Faith laughed. “Me, too. Goodness, I don’t know who this Blake guy is, but he must be something to bring all this about.”
A hot flush seemed to crawl up Hope’s body. Something? Oh, he was something all right. Not that she would go into details.
“He just makes me think, that’s all.”
“Right. So what’s the problem? Why not see what happens? When was the last time you were involved with someone?”
The answer to that was long and complicated. She gave her sister the short version. “I’m flying out in a few days. I hardly know him. The only alternatives are to drop everything in Sydney to be with him, or try a long-distance thing from Australia to Canada. Based on what? Ten days? Either option would be crazy.” No matter how great a kisser he was.
“You’re right. That doesn’t sound very practical. And you’re not the risk-taker in the family.”
Hope let out a breath. “See? You get it. What about you and the Earl?”
“Oh, no,” Faith replied. “You called me. We’re talking about you. Not me.”
“For now.”
“You should go. This has to be costing you a small fortune.”
Hope recognized a diversion when she heard it, but things were going too well for her to persist and risk the fragile connection they’d made. “It is, but I’m glad I called. I’ll see you in a few days, yeah?”
“You got it.”
“Bye, Faith.” She hit the end button and put the phone on the night table.
It had been right to call. Right to reconnect. And it had felt good to put into words how she’d been feeling about Blake. No matter how attracted she was becoming, no matter how much she was drawn into caring for him, anything more was a ridiculous idea doomed to disaster. Look at her parents. They’d dated briefly and jumped right into marriage and they’d all paid for that mistake. The very idea that both of them were in Beckett’s Run now, making nice, made Hope roll her eyes. Why would this time be any different than before? She hoped Faith wasn’t getting her hopes up for some big reconciliation. Hope was sure that this time would be exactly the same as all the others.
It was insane to think of anything coming of her time here with Blake. Anything serious was inconceivable in this short amount of time. And anything else was just pointless, wasn’t it?
And there was still his Christmas party to get through.
She was just going to have to toughen up and Scrooge her way through—to keep them both from being hurt in the end.
* * *
Blake turned his head at the sound of heels on the concrete of the barn floor. His first appointment wasn’t due for another half hour, and he knew that particular sound anyway. Hope’s heeled boots—the silly ones she’d worn the first day and that he’d hoped she’d wear again each day since. Totally impractical, yes. Also totally sexy.
He stepped out of the stall, stood the shovel on its end and rested his arms against the handle.
“You’re up early.”
“Just wanted to let you know I’ll be gone for the day. I don’t have a present for Gram or my sisters, and the last thing I want to be doing is shopping at the airport.”
“Nothing says love like an airport gift shop.”
She smiled. She had on that red puffy jacket again—the one that made her cheeks look extra rosy.
“Exactly. Even worse would be the shops in Beckett’s Run on Christmas Eve, after everything’s been picked over.”
Never mind that he understood exactly what she was doing. Putting distance between them. Things had been strained ever since that kiss, despite their attempts to keep it casual and pleasant. There was an atmosphere now.
But he wasn’t going to do anything to stop her. She’d brought him up short the other night, asking him what he wanted from her. He didn’t have an answer. He wanted her. He wanted to feel close to her. But beyond that she was absolutely right. She was leaving in a few days. A rough-and-ready tumble in the hay might be on his mind, but it wouldn’t help matters any—not in the long run.
And it was probably better if she was out of his hair for the day. Being so close to her, smelling her shampoo