Rona gave a short smile, ‘I look at you youngsters, all flourishing in life, starting out and I still feel young inside, but I know I’m not … my knees remind me of that every morning when I climb out of bed. What I’m trying to say is, my life is trundling along so fast. One minute you are here and the next you are gone.’
‘Mum, don’t talk like this,’ said Felicity, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.
‘It’s true … one minute I’m a little girl pinching my mother’s baking whilst she wasn’t looking and now, she’s gone. In a blink of an eye everything changes.’ Rona took a breath. ‘I do know you’ll want to set up home with Fergus and Esme.’ She took her daughter’s hand and squeezed it gently. ‘I don’t want you to worry about me.’ Her voice faltered and a tiny tear slid down her cheek. ‘Don’t put your life on hold for me. You deserve your happiness … your happy ever after, and it’ll make me happy to see you happy, but there’s just one thing I ask.’
Felicity swallowed down the lump in her throat, she’d never heard her mum talk this way before. ‘This place, Bonnie’s teashop, keep it alive for Mum, me and you.’
‘Always, Mum … always. I’ll never let you down.’
Rona pulled her daughter in for a hug. ‘I don’t say it often enough, but I love you.’
Felicity nodded, ‘I love you too.’
The 5 a.m. alarm sounded, and Isla woke feeling exhausted. It only felt like she’d closed her eyes five minutes ago. As usual, Drew was lying next to her in a deep sleep which she was extremely jealous of. As she shook him lightly, he began to stir. ‘Drew, it’s time to get up, the alarm went off.’
‘Already,’ he murmured, half-asleep, before gingerly pulling back the covers and slowly swinging his legs to the floor. Isla shivered as a blast of cool air hit her, she quickly pulled the duvet back up around her neck.
Drew reluctantly wandered down the stairs and Isla turned over as she heard the kitchen light switch on, followed by the sound of running water. Her head felt fuzzy, the wine hadn’t helped last night but she’d barely slept in between Angus waking up and worrying about Drew’s mood.
At 2 a.m. she’d found herself drinking a mug of tea in the kitchen while staring at Drew’s phone charging on the side. Jessica’s comment was firmly on her mind. What if Drew did have a gambling problem? What if there was something wrong with his health and he was too scared to tell her? Or could he even be having an affair? Isla couldn’t settle with all these thoughts whirling around in her mind.
Part of her was itching to check his phone, but the other part of her knew it was dishonest. But before she could stop herself, she reached over, unplugged the phone and stood at the bottom stairs and listened.
Silence.
Thankfully, she hadn’t disturbed anyone by coming downstairs.
She rolled the phone over and over in her hands. Drew’s screensaver was a photo of them all, a picture taken at the hospital when Angus was born. Isla took a deep breath and pressed the home button. She was relieved when the phone didn’t have a passcode, which she thought was a good sign. Surely if Drew had anything to hide, he would ensure his phone was locked at all times. Firstly, she scrolled through his messages, but they were just the usual texts from suppliers, and the usual banter about footie from Fergus and Rory. There was no-one in his contact list that she didn’t know and his photo albums were jam-packed with pictures of her and the boys, and she took a moment to appreciate the wonderful family they had. It made Drew’s moods even more worrying.
‘Apps … what apps does he have?’ said Isla, quickly scrolling. Her hands were sweating and her heart was thumping, but again there was nothing unusual and certainly no gambling apps.
‘What are you doing, Isla?’ she mumbled to herself.
She hadn’t got a clue what she was hoping to find but she certainly hadn’t found anything incriminating on Drew’s phone. And now she just felt bad for even looking. Riddled with guilt for thinking the worst, she plugged the phone back into the charger and took herself back off to bed.
A couple of hours after Drew had left Isla decided to make herself a strong coffee before waking Finn up for school. Thankfully Angus was still fast asleep in his cot.
She sat with her hands cupped around the mug, feeling disappointed in herself, and exhaled heavily.
‘Now that’s a sigh and a half.’
Isla looked up to see Martha ambling into the kitchen. ‘Headache tablets, I need headache tablets … you’d think I would have got the hang of this drinking lark at my age,’ she gave a small chuckle and pulled out the chair next to Isla.
‘Water?’ Isla asked as she stood up.
Martha managed a nod and gratefully accepted the glass and tablets from Isla as she swallowed down the pills.
‘Did you sleep well?’ asked Martha, picking up the paper that Isla had left on the table.
Isla hugged her mug of coffee and after a second noticed the drops of water on the table. She was crying.
‘What is it, dear? It can’t be that bad.’ Martha squeezed her hand, ‘What’s this all about?’
Isla tried to blink away her tears, but it was no use, her emotions bubbled to the surface and came spilling out. ‘Gran … I’ve done something terrible.’
Martha straightened herself up, her eyes widened.
‘Terrible … what sort of terrible?’
Isla told her gran about checking Drew’s phone, and about how awful she felt.
‘Don’t beat yourself up over it. His change in behaviour has caused you to question him. You’re just reacting to how he’s treating you. First things first, let’s get Finn ready for school. I’ll stay here with Angus and make us breakfast, you need to eat to keep your strength up, and then we’ll have a chat about what’s going on or what you think is going on.’
Isla broke eye contact and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. ‘Thanks, Gran.’
Martha tilted her head, ‘Sometimes things happen for a reason and come to try us … but one thing I’ve learnt in my life so far, there’s no point wasting energy on worrying. You need to ask Drew outright what’s bothering him. Otherwise it will eat away at you both. Maybe he’s just exhausted, and we can’t be happy-go-lucky all the time, can we?’
Isla attempted to hitch a smile on her face, even though she was still feeling awful. ‘You are a wise old woman …’
‘I’ve had a lot of practice,’ said Martha, giving Isla’s hand a quick squeeze.
An hour later Finn was ready for school and kissed his great-grandma on the cheek before slipping on his coat.
‘Remember your promise,’ he said, attempting to wink at Martha, but he didn’t quite get it right and over-exaggerated a blink instead.
She tapped her nose and winked back. ‘I won’t forget.’
‘What’s going on here?’ asked Isla, feeling a little out the loop as she ushered Finn towards the front door.
‘Great-Gran has promised me one of those sticky buns from Bonnie’s teashop after school,’ he said with a huge grin.
‘That sounds like a very nice treat.’ Isla cupped her hand around Finn’s as they began to walk down the path towards school. She could see Drew and Fergus shepherding the cows towards the bottom field.
‘Do