Max broke away from Mei. And to Erin’s astonishment, he headed straight for Lucas.
Her gaze bounced from Lucas’s sister to the boy, who’d wrapped both arms around Lucas’s knees and was clinging to him like a burr on a wool sock.
Lucas looked so uncomfortable with the attention that Erin had to stifle a smile.
“So, who does this little cowboy belong to?” She directed the question at Mei but it was Lucas who answered.
“He belongs to me.”
Chapter Three
Lucas saw the flash of hurt in Erin’s eyes before she could disguise it.
“I see,” she murmured.
Lucas doubted that. How could she? Even he wasn’t sure how he’d ended up with custody of someone else’s child.
He could almost guess what she was thinking. He was the guy who avoided family obligations like a disease. Sure, he’d been willing to marry Erin, but Lucas had come to realize that the proposal had been offered out of selfishness. He’d claimed he didn’t want to lose her, but what he hadn’t wanted to lose was the sense of peace she had brought to his life.
Which made him that guy.
The guy who had no business taking on the responsibility of a wife. Or a child.
“Oh, before I forget, here’s the Realtor’s number.” Mei fished a business card out of her coat pocket and handed it to him. “I ran into Bev yesterday afternoon and mentioned that you’re anxious to find something.”
Anxious to move out of his childhood home, Lucas thought. The last few days hadn’t been easy. Mei had done her best to ease the tension between him and their mother, but Lisette made no attempt to hide her disappointment in him. Something Lucas should have been used to by now.
Not only did his mother barely interact with Max, she’d refused to care for him when Lucas went out on a call. Mei babysat when she was available, but Lucas knew he couldn’t count on her generosity much longer. When his sister wasn’t substitute teaching at the high school, she was spending time with Jack McCord, the local search-and-rescue worker who had crossed state lines to bring him and Max to safety.
Lucas still couldn’t wrap his mind around that relationship. Mei and Jack, Charley Clayton’s stepson, had been at odds in high school but now they claimed to be in love. There seemed to be a lot of that going around, now that he thought about it.
So he wasn’t going to think about it.
“Thanks, Mei. I’ll try to give her a call after Max goes to bed tonight.”
Max frowned. “Don’t wanna go to bed.”
“You have to learn to spell things,” Mei whispered to Lucas.
“Spell things?”
“You know. B-e-d.” Mei closed one eye in a saucy wink and blew Max a kiss before breezing out the door. “Bye, partner. Bye, Erin.”
“Bye.” Erin’s smile, when aimed at his sister, was relaxed and genuine.
Lucas couldn’t help but feel a little envious.
There’d been a time when they were completely at ease in each other’s company. Now, she could barely look at him.
“I’ll drop a check off tomorrow.” Erin’s gaze drifted to Max again.
“No hurry—” Lucas found himself talking to her back. He took Max by the hand and followed Erin out of the barn. “I’ll swing by in a few days to check on Diamond. Is there someone around here during the day?”
“I’m usually at the café.” Erin veered toward the shoveled pathway leading to the house.
“I know that, but the owners won’t mind if I stop by, right?”
She whirled around and sent a spray of snow over the tops of his boots. “What do you mean, the owners?”
Now it was his turn to be confused. “The people who board Diamond for you.”
“I don’t board her here. I live here.”
Frowning, Lucas peered at the two-story eyesore with the dingy white clapboard siding, crooked shutters and a wraparound porch that sagged like an unbuckled belt around its middle. The small outbuildings and barn were in a similar state of disrepair.
“What happened to your house in town?”
Erin looked away. “I sold it after Mom died.”
Lucas felt his stomach turn inside out. Erin’s mother had battled diabetes for years, but no one had bothered to mention that she’d passed away. When had it happened? And why had Erin stayed in Clayton?
She’d been as anxious as he was to leave their hometown, her goal to become a large animal vet. Lucas’s goal had been to break every household rule his parents established.
Did Erin realize she had been instrumental in his choice of a career? Every retired, broken-down ranch horse within a twenty-five mile radius of Clayton had received her loving attention and he’d been right there beside her, currycomb in hand.
His willingness to work with the animals had caught the attention of the local vet on the ranch he’d worked in Georgia.
“You have a way with these critters, Clayton,” the doc had said. “Ever think of making a living at it?”
Until that moment, Lucas hadn’t. But he’d taken the words to heart—and didn’t mention that his “way with critters” had been encouraged by a slender girl with big brown eyes and a luminous smile.
He pulled his thoughts back in line. Looking back had the power to make a man stumble.
“I’m sorry.” The words sounded inadequate but they were the best Lucas could do.
“So am I,” Erin said softly.
“So you bought a…” Lucas searched for the right word. One that wouldn’t offend her. “A…house…out here.”
A shadow of a smile touched Erin’s lips. She’d read his mind. Again. “I’m planning to fix up the place a little at a time and add a few more stalls so I can rescue more horses like Diamond. I think the place has potential.”
Lucas didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was wrong. The same way she’d been wrong about him.
“I can help. I gottsa hammer,” Max announced.
“Really?” Erin reached out and tapped a finger against the tip of his wind-kissed button nose. “You’ll have to show it to me sometime.”
Max looked troubled and Lucas knew what was coming next.
Sure enough, tears welled up in the hazel eyes. “Hammer’s at home.”
And home, no matter how rough it had been, was a place that existed only in Max’s memory now.
A familiar feeling of helplessness once again threatened to swamp Lucas, reminding him that he was in way over his head. He didn’t know what to do about the fresh pain in Max’s eyes…or the shadows that still lingered in Erin’s from the loss of her mother.
Maybe because he’d never figured out how to deal with his own grief.
Losing his father in the car accident that had also claimed the life of his uncle, George Jr., had changed him. Outwardly, no one could see the damage. On the inside, it was a different story. Like tempered glass, Lucas absorbed the impact of the blow but hadn’t been able to stop the tiny cracks from spreading below the surface. Sometimes he felt as if they’d changed the very structure of his soul.