When he stepped into his room, he left the door open. Ten minutes later, he was lying in bed, staring at the darkened ceiling. Another thirty minutes passed before sleep crept close enough to brush against consciousness. His thoughts slowed, growing more and more random.
A terror-filled wail split the silence. He stumbled from bed, heart in his throat. It took almost landing on his face to realize one foot was still tangled in the sheets. No matter how many times it happened, he’d never get used to Liam’s middle-of-the-night screams. He’d hoped the intensity and frequency would lessen with time, but so far, they hadn’t.
A second shriek set his teeth on edge. Then sobs followed, wails of sorrow rather than fear. He burst into Liam’s room, flipping the switch as he passed. Stark white light obliterated every shadow.
He skidded to a stop. Liam’s bed was empty. Jasmine had already scooped him up and sat in the wooden rocking chair. She held him tightly, his head resting against her chest. Her face was tilted downward as she whispered soothing words into his hair.
She glanced up, meeting Colton’s gaze. Her eyes seemed to hold a lingering wildness of their own. Before he could analyze what he was seeing, she returned her attention to the sobbing boy in her lap.
Liam took a shuddering breath, then lifted one arm to partially circle her waist.
Colton clenched his fists. Jasmine shouldn’t be the one comforting him. Mandy should. The boy needed his mother.
An inner voice told him he was being irrational. On some level he agreed. But he was powerless against the emotions bombarding him.
“I’ll take him.” His tone was stiff and cold.
Jasmine looked up again, her brows drawn together. When she tried to move Liam, his hand tightened around the fabric of her silk pajamas.
Colton reached for him. “Come here, buddy. Daddy’s here.”
Liam finally released his hold. When Colton took him, Liam’s arms went around his neck. He eased himself down onto Jasmine’s bed, since she was still occupying the rocking chair. Already, guilt was pricking him.
“I appreciate what you did for him.” It probably hadn’t been easy. Jasmine didn’t seem like the gentle, motherly type.
“I didn’t mind.”
He owed her an apology, as well as an explanation. Sorry I snapped at you. I was angry that you were here instead of my dead wife.
Okay, maybe not.
“I’m sorry he woke you up.” That was an apology. Sort of.
“I was already awake.”
He wasn’t surprised. When he’d checked on them, she hadn’t looked to be in a sound sleep. At least not a relaxed one.
She looked away. “Nightmares are the pits, especially for kids.”
Her words seemed to be more than an opinion. Her tone held a been there, done that sentiment.
He nodded. “They’re pretty regular, have been ever since... For the past six months.”
“Since your wife’s death.”
“Yeah.” He shook his head. “It was sudden. Brain aneurysm. We had no time to prepare.” Not that it would have done any good. No amount of preparation would lessen the blow of saying goodbye to one’s soul mate.
“I’m sorry.” Her eyes held the same sympathy he’d seen when they’d first arrived at the Murphy house. Not just sympathy. Empathy. Like she’d walked in his shoes. Or some that fit in a far too similar way.
“Thanks.” He forced a smile, but only one side of his mouth cooperated. “I’ve tried to keep things as normal for Liam as possible.” Normalcy when one’s entire world had shifted wasn’t easy to accomplish.
Actually, normal was gone. Trying to recapture the life they used to have was pointless. Instead, he was settling in to a new life, defining a new normal, while still holding on to the few constants. Though it was often the last thing he felt like doing, he’d continued with church, trips to the park and other activities Liam enjoyed, even during their stay in Montana.
Tomorrow would be the first Friday in December, the night of the Murphy Christmas Art Walk. The event had been one of his and Mandy’s traditions and what kicked off the decorating they’d done at the Murphy house, even when they’d lived in Atlanta.
“Tomorrow night...” He started the thought aloud before he could change his mind. He wasn’t kidding himself. Holidays were going to be pure torture. Getting through them would require every ounce of strength he possessed. “I’m taking Liam to the Christmas Art Walk. We’ll need you to come along.”
No way was he taking his son out without Jasmine’s protection. Since arriving in Murphy, he’d felt safe, except for the incident two nights ago when Brutus had caught someone prowling around. Since nothing had happened since, it was probably just kids passing through.
Jasmine shrugged. “Sure. What’s the Christmas Art Walk?”
“We stroll around downtown Murphy, where they have art, food, live music and, of course, the lighting of the tree in the square. We’ll go out for supper first, my treat.”
She gave a sharp nod. “Will do.”
He rose and moved to his son’s bed. As he and Jasmine had talked, Liam’s arms had slowly slid from around his neck. He positioned the boy in his bed and tucked the stuffed rabbit into the crook of one elbow. Liam’s other thumb slipped into his mouth.
Colton straightened and tilted his head toward his son. “His nightmares, they usually only happen once in any given night.”
“No problem, even if it’s more.”
He left the room and headed toward his own. Tomorrow night, he’d be tackling the first of their Christmas traditions.
Same time, same event, same location. There’d even be three of them, like before. But instead of Mandy, Jasmine would be with them.
It just wasn’t right.
But they weren’t a family unit, not the three of them. They were a father and son with their bodyguard. He wasn’t even trying to pretend there was anything more.
It still somehow felt all wrong.
Jasmine stood in Hiwassee Valley rec center’s playground, straight-legged jeans disappearing into the tops of her boots and her jacket hiding both her weapon and her Kevlar vest. Liam sat in one of the swings, fists clutching the chains as she pushed him. He was dressed the same as she was, minus the vest and in tennis shoes instead of boots. Heavier coats waited for them in the car. When the sun went down, they’d need them. Right now, the temperature was pleasant.
Colton had called an hour ago with a change of plans. They were still doing supper and the Christmas Art Walk, but he wouldn’t make it home first. So he’d asked her to meet him at five at the Cherokee County Courthouse downtown. Since she was running early, the park offered a fun detour. Maybe it would not only distract Liam for a short time but also wear him out enough to sleep well tonight.
“Would you like to try out the slide?” Though Liam didn’t respond, she brought him to a slow stop and lifted him from the swing.
Colton had apologized for him disturbing her sleep. In actuality, he hadn’t. She’d awoken from a nightmare herself shortly before he’d started screaming. When she’d scooped him up, she’d still been shaking from her own private terrors.
Then