Tom frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Um.” She opened her palms, unsure how to continue. “I guess we should know what we’re getting into, like get up to speed on each other’s lives. What’s your schedule like? Do you have a girlfriend? That sort of thing.”
The look on his face screamed “get me out of here.” She quickly continued, “I’ll start it off. I work full-time as a receptionist for a dentist nearby, and I’ll have my bachelor degree in accounting this spring. I plan on getting my master’s degree, too. I...actually, I—” She stalled, not ready to mention Florida. Hadn’t Dad always warned her not to poke the bear? She’d wait to tell Tom, when they could spend at least five minutes being civil to each other.
“Are you trying to tell me you have a boyfriend?” He barked out the words, but he didn’t seem angry. No, the way he flicked his thumb against his finger wasn’t anger. She’d seen Tom in many moods, but this wasn’t one of them. She peeked at his hands again. Could he be vulnerable?
With a quick shake of her head, she said, “No.”
“What is it, then?” He met her eyes, and she got lost in their beauty. Look away!
One thing Tom had always pressured her to do when they were married was attend church with him, but she never had. Not once. She wasn’t ready to share her Florida plans yet, but maybe Tom deserved to know about more than just her career plans and nonexistent love life. “I’m a believer now. Been attending church for two years. Macy, too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Turns out you were right. I needed a savior.” She shuddered to think what her life would be like without God. He got her through each day, filled her with peace when life got chaotic, comforted her when she doubted her actions.
He lightly clasped his hands in his lap. “Don’t we all.”
They stared at each other a moment, a ray of understanding between them. The man on her couch resembled the Tom she’d married, but he seemed more complex. Tempted her to unravel the mystery and find out who he’d become. She shook her head. Good thing she’d earned a black belt in avoiding temptation.
“While we’re putting our lives out there, I need to know something.” He cleared his throat, lowered his gaze. “Has Macy had a man in her life?”
“Just my dad.” She blinked. “No boyfriends.”
“What about, well, you know?”
“Aaron?” She waved dismissively. “No. I don’t expect you to believe this, but when you confronted me about him, it changed my life.”
“It changed mine, too.” His gruff tone filled the air. She wanted to touch him, comfort him. But she’d forfeited that right years ago.
“I saw Aaron for what he was—a lonely, insecure guy who got a kick out of pursuing an off-limits woman. And I guess I saw myself for what I was, too. I’d been playing the victim. I needed to take responsibility for my life. I don’t blame you for hating me. And I don’t expect you to ever forgive me.”
“I told you I don’t hate you. It’s been a long time. I’m over it.”
“Good.” She tried to smile, but her heart caved in. It shouldn’t hurt, hearing his dismissal, but it did. “Have you found someone new?”
“No.” He shook his head. “The single life is for me.”
She blew out a breath, relief trickling to her gut. He was single. Not that it meant anything to her—it was just better for Macy. Stephanie couldn’t handle the thought of a jealous girlfriend making Macy miserable. Although, a woman getting close to her daughter left a sour taste in her mouth, too. Complications piled up in her mind. She tossed them away. “Still working at the dealership?”
He nodded. “I own two of them.”
“Good for you.” Two dealerships. Twice the amount of work. Double the hours? She hoped not.
Silence lingered, made her fidget. What else was there to say? A lot, actually, but none of it really mattered. Except the one thing she hadn’t yet clarified. The one thing Tom was bound to fight her on.
“So, I have an idea how we can do this.” She drew her palms together, her chin resting on her fingertips.
He narrowed his eyes. “Do what?”
“Spend time together—the three of us—to make Macy feel comfortable with you.”
His lips tugged downward as if he’d bitten into a Sour Patch Kids candy. “The three of us?”
“Until she’s used to you. Then we can figure out a way to tell her you’re her dad. Work out a visitation schedule.”
She waited for his outburst, his objection. He stared at the window a moment, then met her eyes.
“Okay, but I’m not waiting forever.” He raked his hand through his hair. “How does Saturday afternoon work for you?”
* * *
Ridiculous.
He’d accepted her terms without a fight. Tom merged his truck onto the highway, cranking a Keith Urban song louder.
Who was he kidding? All the fight had left him when she’d walked out five years ago. It had happened so quickly. They’d met, gotten engaged, been married and divorced in just over a year. He’d been coasting ever since.
Not true. He’d stopped drifting when he’d started training. He pressed on the accelerator. He’d already added three miles to his hardest runs. Given up pop and junk food. This race was worth pushing himself for. It had to be.
Years of being stuck in the past, of being convinced he wasn’t enough, had taken its toll. Regrets and blame roared through his gut. The blame he’d gotten through with the help of his Bible. But the regrets?
He hadn’t been a good husband. So wrapped up in his new responsibilities of managing Dad’s car dealership, he’d worked seventy-hour weeks and ignored his bride. She was right about that. He had neglected her.
He’d loved her. And he’d blown it. Hadn’t paid attention to the signs, but in hindsight, they’d been there. She’d cooked special meals he never showed up for. Worse, he’d barely thanked her. And, on more than one occasion, he’d lost track of time reviewing reports when he was supposed to meet her at a restaurant or the movies. He’d ignored her sadness and basically acted as if marriage was all about him.
It didn’t excuse her, though. She’d lied, went behind his back and gotten close with another guy. But what had she said just now? About seeing that jerk for who he was—a lonely scuzzball? Maybe she hadn’t put it in those words, but she might as well have. He grinned for a moment, and then a slew of questions about his future assaulted him.
The exit he normally took came and went, and within minutes he found himself at the zoo gate where Claire worked. He texted her. Meet me out front? I need to talk.
He should be driving home, lacing up his shoes and hitting the pavement. Should be acting as if what happened today didn’t matter. But a feeling of caving in, of losing—what, he didn’t know—coursed through his body.
His phone dinged. I’ll be there in five minutes.
Five minutes. Too long. The taste in his mouth turned to copper.
Maybe he hadn’t caved in. And he certainly hadn’t lost anything. He’d let Stephanie have her plan because...
He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to be a dad.
“There you are.” Claire sailed through the gate and gave him a