“Your folks?”
Rebecca smiled. Her parents would love to know that Ben was back in town.
“They’re great.” This time she didn’t have to force the grin. “Very busy, enjoying their retirement, so I’m running this place on my own most of the time.”
She looked over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of commotion in the kitchen. When she turned back to Ben she noticed he was watching, taking everything in. He’d known her parents’ Italian restaurant just as well as she had when they were teenagers. They’d both worked waiting tables over their last summer break, before he’d had the opportunity of a lifetime and left for Argentina.
“Anyway, how about you? What brings you back?”
Ben jammed both hands into his jeans pockets, eyes down before he looked up and met her stare. She knew something was wrong. Why was he even back here?
“Has something happened to your grandfather?” Rebecca heard the falter in her own voice.
“He’s not doing great, even though he’d hate me telling you that.” He squared his shoulders and pushed his feet out wider. “It was time to come home anyway. I’ve done my time overseas, for now.”
“Really? It’s not like you were getting too old to play.” She ran her eyes over his superfit frame. He was all muscle, all athlete. It wasn’t like polo players had a use-by date, so long as they were still performing, and she’d never expected him to give up his career voluntarily. Not for anything.
That made him laugh. “I’m not too old, and I’m fit as hell, so don’t go feeling sorry for me.” His voice was dry. “I just decided I’d been away for long enough, and Gus needs the help. Argentina was fun, but I missed the old fella.”
Oh. She tried to digest his words. It sent a cold streak down her spine. “So you’re back for good?”
“Yeah, for the time being, anyway,” he said. “If you’d been better at emailing me back, I might have given you a heads-up.”
Ouch again. “Ben, I just got busy and there was so much happening. I’m sorry.” She knew it sounded like a cop-out, and it was. But he hadn’t emailed for a long time, so it wasn’t all her fault.
He looked up, gave her a long, hard stare before training his eyes past her head.
“So tell me, how long have you been back? What are your plans?” she asked.
“I’m just playing it by ear. I’ll see how it goes, how much I can do around the farm.”
Rebecca tried not to react, digested the information as if it meant nothing to her. Polo had always been his life, his dream to play as a career, and now he’d just given it up like that? As if it wasn’t the single most important thing to him after years of being desperate to make it happen?
“So that’s it. You’re just not going to play anymore?” she asked.
A shrug of his shoulders told her he was uncertain. Ben always pushed them up, then hunched them when he was uncomfortable.
“Things change, Bec. You know how it is.”
Yeah, she did. Only she was pretty certain that he hadn’t just had a change of heart—something else had to be going on. If he was doing it for Gus, she completely understood, but she smelled a rat.
“Anyway, I’ve only just arrived back in. I’m still going to be training horses, I’m just taking time out from playing.” He smiled. “I’m heading for Geelong in the morning.”
Rebecca turned and walked back toward the counter, trying to ignore the rising heat in her cheeks. Her pulse had started hammering hard at her temple. Geelong. The place where his grandfather’s horse training establishment was. The place she’d spent every school vacation and weekend, hanging out with Ben and dreaming about their future. Only she hadn’t realized how much of a man’s sport polo was—she’d ended up bravely waving Ben off while she stayed behind. It had been tough for him to make it, and even tougher for her to try to make a career out of it. But they’d only been friends, it wasn’t as if he’d left his girlfriend behind.
“My granddad turned eighty last week, and I know the cancer’s probably worse than he’s letting on. I’m heading there to learn everything I can and slowly take the reins from him. Excuse the pun.”
“He must be so happy to have you back,” Rebecca said, refusing to think about what-ifs just because Ben was back in town and standing before her. It wouldn’t have mattered if he’d stayed or not, they’d both wanted different things, and their one night together had been the result of too much to drink. He hadn’t owed her anything. She took a deep breath. “You’re going to love being home.”
He smiled, but his eyes told a different story. He was annoyed with her, and she didn’t know what to say to him except sorry for not staying in touch. But she hadn’t been able to keep emailing him and not mention what was going on in her life, which meant that losing contact with him had been the only option. She’d always sworn that if he came back she’d tell him, but the guys he played polo with had become his family, he’d always said he loved what he did and wouldn’t give it up for anything.
“It was what we always talked about, huh? The two of us playing polo overseas then coming back to run a horse stud together.”
“Yeah,” she said softly, not wanting to go back in time because thinking about the past only hurt. “Yeah, it was.”
“But, anyway, tell me about you? I heard a terrible rumor yesterday that you have a daughter.” He chuckled. “Is it true?”
Rebecca placed one hand on the stainless steel counter, trying to stop the quiver as it ran up and down her body. Her daughter. How much did he know? She’d wanted to be the one to tell him.
“Yeah, I’m a mom now,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady and her breathing even. “To Lexie.”
“Lexie,” he repeated the name, the word on his lips sending another wave of worry down her back. “And who’s the lucky man?”
“Man?” she asked.
“Your husband?”
Gulp. Husband. Hmm. “I, ah, well, there is no lucky someone. It’s just me and Lexie.”
“You mean some bastard left you, after you’d had his child? That why you didn’t stay in touch with me? Because you knew I’d hunt him down?”
She did not like where this was going. Mmm, what did she say. Yes, Ben, and that bastard was you? That’s exactly why I stopped returning your emails. But she didn’t think of him like that, because she’d made the decision to keep Lexie a secret, to protect both of them, but mainly to make sure she wasn’t the one responsible for clipping his wings.
“Let’s just say I was better off bringing her up on my own, at least for the time being,” Rebecca said, being careful with her words. “My folks have been great and she’s a happy little girl, so it’s all worked out okay.”
The look on Ben’s face told her he was unconvinced. “And your dad didn’t try to do something about it? Or your brother, for that matter?”
Rebecca needed to change the subject. Fast. She needed time to think about how she was going to tell Ben, how she was going to break it to him. “They weren’t thrilled about the whole thing, but sometimes life throws a curve ball and you just have to deal with it.”
He opened his mouth, looked grumpy as hell and about to say something else about her solo parenting situation so she quickly interrupted him.
“Do you want something to eat?” she asked. “We can still rustle up