But even his dreams hadn’t done the reality of her justice.
Sayre at eighteen had been beautiful. But Sayre at twenty-three was enough to make him want to sell his goddamn soul for the chance to touch her. She was that incredible. So earthy and warm and sensual that it’d taken every ounce of his strength to claw on to his control when he’d approached her, instead of taking her down to the ground and claiming every inch of her lush little body for his own.
Only the certainty that she’d hate him in the end had enabled him to fight that fierce, possessive pull. That...and the fact that he had no business touching her when he could never give her the things she deserved. Christ, he couldn’t even give her next month, much less promises of love and a family and forever.
Careful to stay hidden, he made his way back up the mountain on foot and studied her cabin from the shelter of the woods. The place was small but pretty, surrounded by a large, colorful garden that was obviously well tended. But the location couldn’t have been more remote if she’d moved to the wilds of Alaska, and it twisted his insides to think of her being stuck out here all alone. It was the last thing in the world he would have expected for the girl who’d always greeted everyone with a smile and a hug; she’d always been an effortless little social butterfly who people couldn’t help but want to be around.
Though there were a lot of Lycans who went away to attend university among the human population, he knew that Sayre had planned on going to a local school for a degree in environmental studies. He hadn’t understood why she was so determined to stay with the pack while she continued her education, but now he thought that maybe he did. If her powers had been increasing to the point that she was having trouble dealing with them, she might have worried over what would happen if she were too far away from her family. He hated that she’d carried that kind of burden back then; girls in their teens didn’t need to be worrying about such serious issues. But Sayre had fought in the war right along with the rest of her family, and it’d been apparent even then that her powers were...different. She’d already been capable of firing powerful bursts of light from her hands, and had taken down the enemy with a skill that had completely shocked him—though young, she’d shown no mercy to those who would have harmed her loved ones.
And now this. Instead of finishing her studies and starting to find her way in the world, she was living like a recluse in the goddamn mountains, all alone. No family. No friends. He felt to blame, even though he hadn’t been there. But wasn’t it better for her to be alone than to be with someone like him?
Not wanting to think about the answer to that question, he glanced at the thick, military-grade watch on his wrist, surprised she hadn’t come down to check that he’d followed her orders and left. Did she actually believe he would just turn and walk away when her life was in danger?
Only you never actually got around to telling her that part, did you? his beast muttered, making him scowl. He didn’t need the animal telling him what he already knew. Yeah, he should have explained the seriousness of the situation to her right from the start, but he’d had his reasons for holding back.
At first, he’d simply been too dumbstruck by how she’d changed, and he couldn’t blame himself for that. He’d all but been knocked back on his ass by the sight of her. But then he’d told her there wasn’t time to explain, which was bullshit. He could have made the time, but the fact was that he simply hadn’t been ready to spill the whole sordid story. Telling her meant giving her one more reason to hate him, and she already had enough of those.
But no matter how angry she was, or how much the situation sucked, he wasn’t leaving this mountain without her. He might have turned his back on her before, but only because he’d thought it was the best way to keep her safe.
Only...the danger had found her anyway, hadn’t it? Which meant that for all his running, he was still stuck in the same destructive loop, and there didn’t seem to be any way out of it. Not until Aedan no longer hung over his life like a malevolent shadow, ready to wreak pain, terror and death on anything that he wanted for himself.
The minutes moved by in a slow crawl, the air hot and sticky with humidity, though he barely noticed, his attention completely fixated on Sayre as the witch went about her daily routine. Every now and again, he would pick up the muted sounds of her voice as she talked to herself, the low words edged with anger and frustration. He’d definitely pissed her off by coming there, which meant that she was still angry about the way he’d left and hadn’t gotten over it. That she hadn’t forgotten him. And as wrong as it was, he liked that she’d been thinking about him all these years. That he’d made a big enough impact on her life to be remembered.
You’re her life mate, dimwit, his wolf grunted. Not like she can just forget that little tidbit.
“Piss off,” he muttered, knowing damn well that the beast was right.
Are we going to just stand out here all day? the animal persisted. Because we belong over there with her. We belong inside her.
He choked back a curse, the need searing through his veins making him sweat even more than the heat. He’d never so much as kissed Sayre, and yet, he strongly suspected that sex with her would be unlike anything he’d ever known. Just the fantasy of it overshadowed every woman he’d ever been with, and there’d been so many. Too many. Faces and bodies and names that he wouldn’t have been able to recall to save his life—which only made him that much more of a bastard.
The wind finally picked up, but he was far enough away that he didn’t need to worry she would scent him on the air. Though Lycan blood pumped through her veins, she was unable to take the shape of a wolf, which meant she didn’t have the same heightened abilities as the rest of them. Instead, the women in her bloodline were known as witches, or healers. They were each powerful in their own right, but he’d never felt the charge of energy surrounding a Lycan-born witch like he had with Sayre. She was truly in a class of her own, and he couldn’t help but wonder how those powers would mature as she grew older.
He seriously doubted that she needed the gun. Though he’d once been able to force his way through her power, when they’d been in the heat of battle and he’d been hell-bent on protecting her, she was stronger now. If she’d wanted, he was sure she could have blasted him with enough energy to put him out of commission for the rest of the day—and Christ, that was sexy. Everything about the woman was...intoxicating. He’d always thought she was beautiful in an ethereal, fey kind of way, and had been intensely attracted to her. But now...Jesus. There honestly weren’t words to describe the way she affected him. Her curly hair had to be a good seven inches longer, reaching the middle of her back, the color a deeper red that was shot through with streaks of gold, no doubt from all the time she spent outdoors. Her once thin, coltish body was now deliciously curved, her breasts and ass a little fuller, giving her slender figure a more lush, womanly look. He couldn’t help but imagine what this new shape of hers would feel like spread out beneath him, all that sweet, creamy flesh his for the taking.
But his attraction to Sayre Murphy had always been about more than her looks, and that hadn’t changed. If anything, the force of her will held an even deeper draw for him now, her fiery spirit when combined with her tender nature creating an alluring package that would entice any man, but especially the one chosen by fate as her perfect match. Everything about her was designed to please him, and a gruff, troubled burst of laughter softly fell from his lips as he scrubbed a hand over his face, knowing he was in some seriously deep shit. Even if she weren’t the sexiest thing he’d ever set eyes on, he’d have wanted her. The fact that her innate sensuality was even more prevalent now, her mouth and scent and the husky sound of her voice calling to him on every primitive level, well...that was just overkill. A play of the universe to make the coming days as excruciatingly painful as possible. Hell, at this rate, he was pretty sure he’d feel like he’d gone ten rounds in a medieval torture chamber by the time this nightmare was over. And he’d no doubt bear the scars to prove it, on his skin as well as his blackened heart.
Keep her alive and keep my hands to myself. That needed to be his new mantra—but