* * *
Given the situation, Sayre knew that “letting it go” was probably a damn good idea, but she couldn’t do it. Not when Cian Hennessey was suddenly looking at her as if she were the embodiment of every primal sexual fantasy that he’d ever had. “Wait. Are you...are you saying that you want me?”
“I always want you.”
The gritty words were so sharp with emotion she almost felt cut by them, and she slowly shook her head in wonder. “But you always said I was too young for you.”
His hands tightened into fists until his knuckles turned white. “You’re no longer a child, Sayre.”
“And I wasn’t a child at eighteen,” she snapped, sick of this archaic attitude he had about her age. “If I was old enough to go to war for my pack, then I was old enough for sex, Cian. But you left me anyway.”
“That was only part of the reason I left,” he said roughly, his chest expanding with each of his hard, ragged breaths.
Narrowing her eyes at him, she kept her tone deliberately calm. “I left, too. But not right away. I lived in the Alley for nearly six months without you there, and it was nice to learn that there were some men on that mountain who didn’t think I was too young for what they wanted.”
An immediate scowl twisted his brow, his silver gaze going dark and diamond-hard. She could feel the powerful force of his anger surrounding her, blasting against her, but unlike with the others, Cian’s emotions didn’t cause her physical pain or discomfort. They simply fed her own, making her feel...charged, like a draining battery that had finally been given a potent boost. The jolt was as stunning as it was delicious, raising the fine hairs on her skin, and the fact that it felt so freaking good only made her angrier. So furious, she didn’t even flinch when he straightened to his full height and snarled, “What exactly are you saying, Sayre?”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she threw him a taunting look that she knew would rile him, her voice a soft, sultry drawl. “That really isn’t any of your business, is it?”
He advanced on her so quickly he was there before she’d even noticed he was moving, getting right up in her space until he was looming over her and she had to crane her head back just to see his face, his expression one of pure, seething fury. “Everything about you is my business, little girl. And if any male has put his hands on you, I will fucking kill him. Am I clear?”
Sayre blinked up at him in a mild state of shock, unable to believe he was actually reacting this way—as if he truly gave a crap about what she did or who she did it with. Sure, he’d acted like a jealous ass before he’d abandoned the Alley, but the guy had dropped off the grid for five years. That was half a damn decade! For all he knew, she could have run off, married some amazing man and started a family by now. He’d had no way of knowing what she was doing or who she was doing it with. His actions couldn’t have made his feelings toward their connection any clearer than if he’d looked her right in the eye and told her she meant nothing to him. Not a single goddamn thing.
Though the women he’d taken back to his cabin in front of her had certainly gotten the message across before he’d left. Nothing like watching your life mate hook up with an endless stream of females to make it clear he didn’t want you.
Pulling in a deep breath, Sayre took a few steps back to put some much-needed space between them. “What I’m clear on is that you’ll never know what I’ve done or who I’ve done it with. So this is a pointless argument, Gramps.”
His eyes widened at the name she’d used for him, and she had to bite back a satisfied smirk. Now that she’d found a chink in that titanium-plated armor of his, she was sure as hell going to exploit it. Heck, she might even look up old-man jokes online just so she could have them in reserve, ready to use when needed.
He opened his mouth, then closed it, his nostrils flaring as he pulled in a sharp breath of air. The seconds stretched out, each one heavy and weighted with possibility and tension, until he finally cursed something thick and guttural under his breath and stalked around her, making his way toward the front door with long, angry strides. Then, without so much as a backward glance, he slammed out of the cabin. She waited, wondering if she’d hear the roar of the Audi’s engine, but his shadow moved across the curtained window a few moments later, and she realized he was outside pacing. A brief spot of flame sparked as he paused to light a cigarette—the first one she’d seen him smoke all day—and then the pacing resumed.
It wasn’t anything to necessarily be proud of, but she’d have been totally fibbing if she’d said it didn’t feel good to know that she’d gotten to him. Hah! Score one for the witch! In your face, wolf boy!
But as she turned and headed back to her bedroom, she had to face the harsh reality that he’d gotten to her, as well. Her body ached a little deeper with each step that took her away from him, her heart thudding to a jarring, painful beat that sounded suspiciously like go back...go back...
And the sex-hungry wild woman living inside her was practically screeching her head off, furious that Sayre wasn’t giving her what she wanted. Unfortunately, Sayre pretty much felt the same way.
She might be a twenty-three-year-old virgin, but damn it, that wasn’t by choice. And while she might still be innocent, she embraced her sexuality. Had learned to touch herself and make it feel good. Liked reading about sex and imagining what it would feel like when she could finally give her body the freedom to enjoy it one day. After Cian had left, if there’d been a man she’d wanted, she would have gone to bed with him. But there hadn’t. So she’d taken care of herself, and hoped that one day that would change.
The last few weeks, however, had been...different, her need becoming sharper, more focused, until she’d wondered if it weren’t time she invest in some “things” to help her out. She wasn’t thrilled about walking into a sex shop, because while she might be a modern woman, it was still probably going to make her blush. Even the idea of ordering something online and having it delivered to her PO box in town made her cheeks warm. But now...now she wondered if maybe her body had started quickening in preparation for this. For his return. For the man she’d always wanted showing up out of the blue and acting all protective, as if he actually gave a crap about her.
Was she really willing to let him walk away without taking everything that she could from him before he went?
She didn’t know, but she needed to figure it out, and fast. There was no telling how long he would stick around this time. She couldn’t count on forever. And after the way he’d treated her, she no longer wanted a lifetime with him anyway.
But she needed to decide if she could go all in for nothing more than a good time. If she could use him for that mouthwatering, kick-ass body of his for as long as she dared, and then turn around and walk away before he got around to it.
Would the pleasure be worth the inevitable pain that would follow?
As she crawled onto her bed and turned out the light, Sayre could have sworn she heard a voice in her head murmur, How will you know if you never give yourself a taste?
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