But this was his mother, alive and fierce. He’d never entirely believed she was guilty. Never forgiven himself for not doing more to defend her when he’d had the chance.
‘Forgive me, Mother. I’m happy to see you, thrilled. I never thought … I mean … I thought you were …’ He couldn’t finish the sentence. There was a chance he was dreaming and if that was the case he didn’t want it to end.
Nidra gestured to the looming trees. ‘This is a kind of death. A slow and terrible kind.’ She gave him a bitter smile. ‘I intend to outrun it.’
‘But how did you survive? Where have you been living?’ He looked down at the smoking torch. ‘How did you become one of Sagan’s tributes? I don’t understand.’
‘I’ve spent lifetimes studying the Wild. I’m not afraid of it like my brother is. A hunter is more than weapons and armour. That knowledge saved me. And I have allies still, ones that serve from the shadows. We have been preparing, they and I. One will come to you soon. Treat her requests as if they were mine.’
‘I will, of course I will, but I need to know, where have you been?’
‘Sorn. The Wild has had its way with it and nobody else dares to go there. It’s a ghost town, and I’m its ghost.’
‘And now you’re in Sagan?’
‘No. I stole the torch so that I could signal you. I knew none of the other hunters would be able to fly this deep.’
With the Sky-legs he was so much taller than her that he had to lean down to bring his face close to hers. Her fingers touched his cheek, smearing the fresh tears there and he finally leaned into her touch, the grief and sadness he had kept bottled up these years melting away.
‘I’ve been lost without you.’
‘I know. And now you’re found again.’
Her stoicism made his guilt worse. How could she be so strong when she had lost so much? ‘I should have been there at the end. I’m so sorry.’
‘There was nothing you could have done. I’m glad you didn’t have to see. Your uncle made the whole thing a public show. My humiliation a spectacle for his amusement.’ Her face hardened at the thought of it. ‘They hacked at my reputation with their lies, the Story-singers making me into a monster in the minds of my people, and then the Bringers came and cut the bonds between my soul and my Godpiece. It was an agony I have no words for. It left me without dignity, an animal.’ She shook her head, firm. ‘No, that is not how I wanted to be remembered by my son.’
‘I still should have gone to the trial. I know Gada did.’
‘Yes. But Gada is not you. If you had been there, you would have done something beautiful and foolish. It was right that Gada was there then, just as it’s right that you’re here now. I need you, Vasin, I need you more now than I did then.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘It’s simple, do you want me to die, finally and forever?’
‘No! No. Not when I’ve just found you again. I’d do anything to make things the way they were, you know that.’
She removed her hand from his face. ‘Good. Because I am going to need you to do things for me, things you may not like.’
Vasin frowned. Living too long in the Wild was known to bring on madness. ‘But there is nothing to do. The Sapphire High Lord has given his judgement. And even if he overturned it, he’s already destroyed your Godpiece. Your soul is without anchor … It’s too late.’
Her features hardened. ‘There are other Godpieces among the Sapphire that would suffice.’
He was aware of her eyes on him as he thought through what this would mean. It would be like becoming Deathless for the first time again. Her soul would need to be attuned to a new Godpiece by the Bringers of Endless Order. Though what she said was true about there being other Godpieces within the house, they were already allocated. To give one to his mother would mean destroying another member of the family, wiping out every member of their line. Rather than follow that to its unpleasant conclusion he decided to focus on a different issue. ‘But only the High Lord can take or give Godpieces.’
‘Then you will have to find a way to persuade the High Lord … or replace him with another more sympathetic to our cause. There are those that will support us. It will take a long time to achieve but things have already begun, this very night plans are in motion. I will provide the Godpiece and you will mobilize the house to see that it is used to restore me.’
‘I wouldn’t know how. Since your exile, I have not been myself. I turned my back on the court. I … left those things to Gada.’
She took a deep breath and Vasin shrank from her barely contained anger. When she spoke however, her voice was calm. ‘Then you will go back to court and you will see who remembers the name of Nidra Sapphire with fondness.’ She slipped a pack from her back and began unfastening the top.
‘There was a time, before you were born, when I was considered the best choice for High Lord. However, the machinations of my brother and his pet, Lord Rochant, put paid to that. Your uncle was not always head of this house, nor will he reign forever, that I promise you.’
She opened the bag and held it out for him.
Vasin peered inside to see what looked like a human arm rendered in shell, with antennae sprouting from the knuckles. ‘What’s that?’
‘A trophy. You’ll take it back with you, as part of your glorious return to court.’
His eyes widened as he realized what it was. ‘Wait, you killed the Scuttling Corpsema—’
She hurriedly put a finger to his lips, cutting him off. ‘Not killed. Maimed.’ She looked over her shoulder suddenly as if expecting to see something. Vasin tensed and did the same but there was only darkness between the trees. ‘It’s still out there, somewhere. We would be wise not to use its full name.’
‘But how?’
‘Later. You must go before questions are raised. Take my gift, take the glory. Use it well. Come to me when you have news and I’ll tell you all about the Corpseman and what I’ve been up to in the last few years.’
‘I will. I won’t fail you again.’
‘I know you won’t.’ She pulled up her hood and made to step back into the shadows, but Vasin could not bear the thought of her leaving, and dragged her into an embrace, lifting her till her toes skimmed the top of the long grass. ‘I love you.’
‘And I you, my sweet one. Remember that when you are in the world above the Wild and I am but a memory.’
She had to force herself out of his arms, and only when she was gone from sight did he turn back towards home. He would find a way to make this right, or he would die, a true and final death, in the attempt. Vasin swore to himself that if it came to that, he would not go alone.
It was as Pari feared. The majority of the castle’s guard had taken up posts outside the Rebirthing Chamber, protecting the two doorways into the room. Traditionally, one was used by the Bringers of Endless Order as they escorted the vessel in, one was for the High Lord, if he or she wished to attend. There was a third way into the room but this was used only as an exit should the ritual fail.
Pari had never witnessed a ritual go wrong but she had heard rumours of bodies inhabited by infernal