“There’s a huge difference between being the live-in girlfriend and being the wife and mother of your children.”
“A marriage license is just a piece of paper, Kendra. Other than having it and my last name, nothing would’ve changed.”
She tipped her chin, determined to keep her emotions in check. “It isn’t a meaningless piece of paper. It’s a lifelong commitment. That means something to me.”
Nate snorted. “If it means so much to you, why’d you turn it down when I offered it?”
“I couldn’t be one of those football wives who doesn’t have a life of her own and pretends not to know what happens on the road.”
His expression morphed from anger to hurt again. “So it was about that girl who let herself into my room in Cleveland. I told you, I didn’t know her, and nothing happened between us. When I discovered her in my room, I called security and they sent her ass packing. End of story. I called you right away and told you about it. I wasn’t trying to hide anything.”
“The sports channels picked up the story. I would’ve heard about it.”
Nate ran a hand through his close-cropped curls and heaved a sigh. “So that’s what you think of me? That the minute I’m out of sight I can’t keep it in my pants? News flash, Kendra, if I’d wanted to be with someone else, I would’ve been. Football groupies have been throwing themselves at me since high school. I didn’t want them. I wanted you. I loved you. You obviously didn’t feel the same.”
“That isn’t true.” The accusation hit her like a bullet to the chest, piercing her heart and severing arteries. Nate was the only man she’d ever loved. She loved him still, but their time was past, and it was all her fault. “I’m a realist. You’re only human. A man can only take so much temptation.”
“If you felt that way, you should’ve come to me. We could’ve worked things out.”
“How, Nate? You weren’t going to leave the team, and I’d never ask you to give up your dream.” She hadn’t meant to stress the word.
Nate shifted in his seat, lowering his gaze. He hadn’t missed the implication. She’d supported his dream, but he hadn’t supported hers. He took another sip of his beer. “I never gave you any reason to doubt me.”
“It was my issue, not yours. I fully own that.”
“Just to be clear, you blew up our relationship, our family, because you thought I might eventually cheat on you?”
“It isn’t as simple as that.” She poked at the flounder she no longer had an appetite for. “My fears are very real, and I have them for good reason. That’s my problem, not yours.”
Nate laughed bitterly. “It sure as hell felt like my problem when you turned down my proposal in a roomful of our family and friends.”
She cringed, remembering the moment he dropped to one knee and presented her with a beautiful, custom diamond engagement ring. The memory of that moment was as vivid now as it was then. Euphoric joy immediately followed by debilitating fear and a panic attack that stole her breath.
Chest heaving and the room spinning, she had only one clear thought—she couldn’t marry Nate.
Until that moment, she’d anticipated the day he’d propose and dreamed of an intimate wedding ceremony on the beach. Then Nate asked her to marry him and the room went black.
Visions of ruthless groupies who’d do anything to get with a ballplayer filled her head. Her own father hadn’t been faithful to her mother. How could she expect Nate to do so with so much temptation?
She’d broken it off, packed her things and made the long drive back to Pleasure Cove. Weeks later, she discovered she was pregnant with Kai.
“You didn’t deserve that. I should’ve told you how I’d been feeling, but—”
“You didn’t trust me enough to have an honest discussion then. Give me one reason I should trust you now.” The ache reflected in his dark eyes penetrated her skin more than the bone-chilling air outside had.
Kendra choked back the thickness in her throat. “Because I’m the same girl who cheered you on at every game from peewee to the pros. The one who wouldn’t let you give up on your dream when you weren’t drafted.”
Nate’s expression softened, but he didn’t respond.
Encouraged, Kendra continued. “We were so young then, Nate. I handled my feelings poorly. But I’ve never been anything but supportive of your career, and I’ve proven that I’m willing to go to bat for you. Who was it that convinced those arena football teams to give you a shot? Who sent your arena highlight clips to pro teams until the Marauders invited you to try out?”
“You.” He rubbed his chin. “I owe my entire career to you.”
“Our relationship may have ended, but my support of your career hasn’t. No consultant will fight for your career harder than I will. Deep down, I think you know that.”
Nate kneaded the back of his neck. “Okay, fine.”
“Really?”
“Just until we secure my new contract.”
Her buzz was quickly doused—like a too-short candlewick. The muscles of her face strained to maintain her smile. “Of course.”
“We’ll make it a six-month contract. You’ll be well paid and Marcus will give you references, contacts...anything you need to rebrand your business. All right?”
“It’s a generous offer, thank you. I accept.”
* * *
“All right then.” Nate inhaled Kendra’s sweet scent: a gentle breeze wafting through a summer garden bursting with jasmine and gardenias. He pretended not to notice the disappointment on her face. It tugged at his heart and made him want to promise her the world just to see a genuine smile light those brown eyes. “I’ll call Marcus tonight and have him draw up the contract.”
“Great, I’ll have my lawyer review it and we can go from there.”
“How is your brother doing?” Nate sipped his beer, amused by how formally Kendra referred to her brother, Dashon, a contract law attorney.
Kendra shrugged. “He’s still Dash. Being himself and doing his own thing.”
“New York must be treating him well. I hear he rarely returns to Pleasure Cove.” Nate carved into his prime rib covered with a creamy mushroom and lobster sauce—one of Nadine’s specialties.
Kendra’s mouth twisted. He’d obviously touched a nerve. He wouldn’t pry further. They didn’t need to be best friends. Just have a personable working relationship. “He comes home about as often as Quincy.”
Touché. His globe-trotting younger brother was quickly making a name for himself as a photographer. His shadow rarely darkened the Johnston family’s doorstep.
Nate contemplated the quiet look of concern that furrowed Kendra’s brows. “Did I say something wrong?”
She stopped pushing the food around her plate and put down her fork. “No, but there’s something we need to address, so I’m just going to say it.”
He put down his utensils and sat back warily. “I’m listening.”
“What happened between us in Memphis—”
“Which time?” Nate couldn’t help the smirk that tightened his mouth when he remembered how an argument between them had descended into hot, angry sex on two different occasions.
“Both.” Kendra clearly wasn’t amused. Nor did she seem to have the same fond memories of