“Not anymore.”
“Do you think that because you’ve walked back into my life, all my problems will be solved?” She laughed, the sound as dry and used up as she felt.
“What I think is that two people together can do a whole lot more than one person alone.”
“Then maybe we should concentrate on coming up with a plan for dealing with Hank Zarvy. That seems like a lot better use of our time than worrying about how to change what I feel.”
“Worrying about you could never be a waste of my time.”
“Levi, it’s been fourteen years, and we’ve barely thought of each other in that time. I don’t think you need to worry about me.”
“Who said I’ve barely thought about you?”
“You didn’t try to contact me. I didn’t try to contact you. Once you left for college, we both went on with our lives. But, like I said, we have more important things to do than chat about the past or about my issues.”
Issues?
That made it sound like she had a penchant for dating the wrong guy or a spending problem or maybe even a tiny problem with alcohol.
Issues were little things.
Aaron was huge. What he’d done, what he’d stolen from her, had carved an empty spot in her soul, left her open and wounded and bleeding.
And desperate for the kind of healing she wasn’t sure she’d ever find.
“Like I said, ignoring the past doesn’t make it go away.”
“We need to come up with a plan for tomorrow. I’ve dealt with Zarvy on a couple of occasions. He’s not an easy personality.”
“Not a very subtle change of subjects, Susie.”
“I didn’t mean for it to be.”
“So, we’ll do things your way. Zarvy can be easygoing when he wants to be.”
“Generally, he doesn’t want to be.”
“True, but he wants to make sure the ceremony goes off without a hitch. I think he’ll be eager to cooperate with whatever plans we put into place. We didn’t get a chance to go over your security plans, but we can do that tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the Alamo before the meeting. Say five-thirty? We can drive over to Zarvy’s place together after Morran briefs your team.”
“I’ll take my car and follow you.”
“That would be a waste of gas. Besides, we can finalize any details on the way to Zarvy’s place.”
“I—” He was right. Of course he was. Riding together was reasonable, and Susannah had been trying for months to do reasonable things. Get up. Go to work. Refuse to give in to the temptation to structure every moment of every day around her fear. “All right. That sounds good.”
“Is this where you’re parked?” He gestured to a small parking lot in front of an old brick building.
“Yes.” She’d parked beneath a streetlight in the middle of the lot, and she crossed the pavement quickly, Levi keeping pace beside her. Light spilled down onto the car, bathing it in a pale yellow glow, and Susannah’s blood ran cold as she caught sight of something lying on its hood. A single rose. Deep red or black. She reached out, stopping short of picking it up.
A single rose.
Like the ones Aaron had left on her front porch, on her desk at work, on her bed. She shuddered, taking an unconscious step back and bumping into Levi.
“Looks like someone left you a gift.” His hands cupped her arms, holding her steady, but she barely felt his touch. Couldn’t feel anything but the terror that was taking hold.
“Looks like it.” Her voice was as brittle and dry as old bones.
“Are you going to take it?”
“No.”
“I guess there’s a reason why not.” He didn’t ask, though, and she didn’t say. Didn’t dare try to say. If she did, she might shatter into a million pieces.
He lifted the rose and held it up to the light. It was a perfect velvety blossom, the thorns removed from the stem.
Susannah swayed, her heart skipping one beat and then another, her breath coming so quick and fast she felt dizzy.
“Susannah?” Levi let the rose drop to the ground, and it lay there like a snake. She could almost imagine it coming to life, slithering close and striking.
“Take a deep breath, Susie. Now!” Levi pushed back his hat and leaned close, looking straight into her eyes, his gaze as compelling and demanding as his voice.
She couldn’t refuse him, and she drew in a deep breath and then another, oxygen flooding her brain.
Just a rose.
That was all it was.
No need to panic. No need to get upset.
“I’m okay. I’m fine,” she said more to herself than to Levi.
“You don’t look fine.”
“I just…don’t like roses.” She opened the car door, slid into the front seat, her muscles trembling as the panic eased.
“Maybe I should get my car and follow you home.”
“It’s a seven-mile drive to my place. I’ll be fine.” She shoved the key in the ignition, forcing herself to meet Levi’s eyes, to smile past the sick churning fear in her stomach.
“I see a lot more than dislike in your face. What’s really going on?”
She’d known he would ask, but she didn’t want to answer. Didn’t want to tell him more of her secrets. Didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes again.
“I already told you.”
“Susannah—”
“We both have to be up before dawn. Let’s call it a day and say good-night. Here’s my business card. If something comes up, and you can’t make it to the meeting tomorrow, just give me a call.”
His jaw tightened, but he took the card. “Nothing will come up. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“See you then.” She offered another smile, this one less shaky than the last, and shut the door.
Levi was still standing under the streetlight as she pulled out of the parking lot, his hat tilted back, his arms crossed over his chest.
The rose lay on the ground beside him, a dark line on the pavement.
A rose without a thorn.
She shivered, turning her gaze away.
She hated roses.
Hated them.
But that didn’t mean the rose was a harbinger of danger. Anyone could have left it there. A friend. A coworker. Someone who’d wanted to cheer her up. Maybe it hadn’t even been meant for her. Maybe some hapless suitor had left it on the wrong car.
Please, God, let that be the case.
Because Susannah didn’t want to go back to those months of terror, those endless weeks spent feeling as if every move she made, every word she said was being watched. She didn’t want to go back to the nightmare she’d lived.
She turned on the radio, cruising the stations until she found something upbeat and light. Anything to fill the silence and refocus her thoughts. Tomorrow would be another long day, and she needed to be ready for it.
Prayed she’d be ready for it.
She could not mess up this assignment. Could not let fear get the best of her.
The