“I don’t think this is a good fit, darlin’,” Martha Rose said again.
“I’ll do better. I promise. I never make the same mistake twice,” Eva said.
But that wasn’t the problem. Eva always learned her lessons. But her mistakes were doozies. Such as driving the tractor, taking the turn too wide and tying up the side rake in the barbed-wire fence. Another time she’d mistakenly grabbed a bucket of rolled corn instead of oats to feed the horses. Thankfully, one of the ranch hands had caught her before she’d made the horses sick. She’d then found herself sequestered in the kitchen, but that hadn’t proved to be much better. But the biggest mistake of all, the one she’d never repeat again, was falling in love. Never would she trust another man with her deepest, darkest secret. Never would she hope that he would love her for herself and not the children she could never give him.
As if on cue, a baby’s cry permeated her muddled brain. Her heart wrenched with the sound. She instinctively wanted to run to Cody’s nursery and pick him up, but she forced herself to stay put. No sense in torturing herself.
“Please give me one more chance, Martha Rose,” Eva pleaded.
The woman placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and met her eyes. “Darlin’, you and I both know it isn’t gonna work. We might as well not pretend. With all this trouble in the town, cattle rustlings and stealing, those burnt onions and flat biscuits are the least of our worries. It’s not the end of the world. But it’s time for you to go and do something else.”
True, but it went deeper than that for Eva. Her heart still stung from being rejected by her fiancé. In this small community, most of the ranchers valued family and children above everything else. Except their land and cattle, which they wanted to pass on to their kids one day. If she couldn’t have children, what good was she? No man in the area would ever want her. And she wasn’t about to leave town. She loved Little Horn. She’d been born and raised here. The thought of leaving to try to find a husband left her feeling cold and empty inside. She had to develop a career and learn to make it on her own. There must be something she was good at.
“Why don’t you go and help Miss Mamie with the baby? She’s got her hands full with that little one, and she could sure use the help,” Martha Rose said.
Eva shook her head. “No, anything but that. Not the baby. Please, Martha Rose.”
A spear of panic pierced Eva’s chest. Lots of people in town knew that she’d been gored by a bull when she was only sixteen years old. But they didn’t know that the horrifying incident had left her barren. Unable to have children. And no one knew how badly it hurt her to be around kids...the one thing in life she wanted most and could never have. Not without adoption or taking in foster kids. She had loved and admired her father and couldn’t imagine raising her own child without a daddy. She’d have to be married first, which brought her back to the problem of finding a man in this small community who was willing to marry a woman who couldn’t give him biological children. And she couldn’t take in foster kids when she didn’t even have a home of her own.
“Land’s sake, it’s just a small baby. And babies are easy to love,” Martha Rose insisted.
That was just the problem. Eva didn’t want to love Cody. Or any child, for that matter. But Martha Rose seemed oblivious to Eva’s anguish. Turning back to the stove, the woman bustled about as she stirred a pot of gravy and checked the roast beef. Eva seemed to have been forgotten. And she figured maybe it was for the best.
As she faced the door, Cody’s piercing screams continued, filling the entire house. No wonder Miss Mamie had called in the doctor. Every evening it was the same. The baby cried and cried.
Clamping an iron will on her fears, Eva pulled off her apron, set it on the sideboard, lifted her head in determination and walked into the other room. Down the hall leading to the back bedrooms, she followed the baby’s plaintive cries. And when she reached the doorway to his nursery, she stood there feeling lost and all alone in the world.
Wearing only his diaper, Cody lay on the changing table with Tyler leaning over to inspect him. The doctor moved a stethoscope over the baby’s perfectly formed miniature chest and abdomen. Cody kicked his tiny legs, closed his eyes, scrunched up his face and howled in outrage. Yet Tyler seemed completely unruffled by all the fuss.
“There now, little guy. It’s okay. We’ll wrap you up in your blanket in just a moment.” Tyler smiled and spoke in a soothing voice.
Mamie Stillwater stood beside the doctor, her dark, flashing eyes filled with concern. At the age of seventy-eight, Mamie was the matriarch of the Stillwater family. A woman with an iron will and a delicate bone structure who had withstood the test of time. Her cottony white hair couldn’t diminish the regal beauty she’d carried throughout her life. But just now she was clasping her wrinkled hands in frustration.
“He sure is mad, Dr. Grainger. No matter what I do, I can’t get him to stop crying,” Mamie said.
Tyler cooed and spoke gently, trying to calm the angry baby. “I think he’s just colicky. See how he pulls his legs up toward his stomach? Crying at this time of the evening is normal for a baby of his age. It’ll pass soon enough. Just be patient.”
Eva listened intently, feeling lulled by the deep bass of Tyler’s voice. Since he was a pediatrician, he must know lots about kids that Eva had never even contemplated. But since Little Horn was such a small town, Eva had heard that he also treated an adult patient on occasion.
“Oh, I’d forgotten about colic,” Mamie said. “No wonder he’s upset. It’s been so long since I had a small baby to care for. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t soon find a nanny to help take care of him.”
Eva’s heart pinched hard. Watching the red, squalling baby wave his thin arms in the air brought out her compassion. She wanted to do something to help him. To soothe him. But fear kept her frozen in place. Babies were her one taboo.
“Any news yet on who the baby’s mama is?” Tyler asked as he used a lit instrument to peer into Cody’s nose and ears.
Mamie barely spared Eva a glance. “No, nothing since Ben found him on our doorstep with nothing more than a blanket to tell us his name. If only Ben hadn’t had that horrible accident right afterward. And now he’s lying in the hospital in a coma.”
Mamie spoke above the wailing of the baby. The elderly woman sounded so miserable that Eva stepped over and wrapped her arms around Mamie’s slender shoulders in a quick hug. “Don’t worry, Aunt Mamie. I’m sure Ben will come out of it soon.”
“Oh, Eva, I hope so,” Mamie said, patting her hand. “I’m so glad you’re here. You’re such a comfort to me.”
Tyler motioned toward a clean terry-cloth onesie sitting on the dresser. Eva quickly handed it to him and he smiled his thanks. She felt charmed.
“Eva, would you mind dressing Cody while I talk to the doctor for a few minutes?” Mamie asked her.
The woman didn’t wait for Eva’s consent before turning her back and continuing her dialogue. Tyler flashed another smile as he handed Eva the sleeper, then stepped over to the doorway with Mamie. The baby continued to cry.
“You think Cody will be okay, then?” Mamie asked the doctor.
“I do. Nothing to worry about. He’s a healthy little boy.”
Mamie released a deep sigh. “If only I could find a nanny for him. I’m not used to these late-night feedings. And the constant crying has gotten on my nerves. I feel plumb tuckered out with it all.”
Trying