I threw back my head, looked up at heaven. Why did God just allow these people to wander around, not knowing they were dead? Wasn’t there some kind of intake system? Where were the angels? Where were the loving relatives, come to lead the newly deceased into the Light?
“But my name is Justin Braydaven,” Justin went on. “I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you that much if I hadn’t read it off my headstone.” He shook his head. “I’ve really been spaced lately.”
“You didn’t remember your name—but you can still communicate in sign language?”
Justin shrugged. “Maybe it’s like riding a bike,” he said. “You never forget how to do it, even when you’re—” he stopped, swallowed “—dead.”
I felt sorry for him, for obvious reasons. There was so much he was never going to experience. “I guess your date of death is probably on that headstone, too. Under your name.”
“I was so glad to know who I was, I forgot to look for that.”
“Justin, do you see a big light? If you do, you should go into it.”
“No big lights,” Justin said, sounding good-naturedly resigned.
Gillian began to sign again.
“She’s back to the dog,” Justin told me. “It’s a big thing to her. Maybe there’s one at the pound.”
I thought about Vince Erland, promising his stepdaughter a pet and then reneging. It would be easy to judge him for that, but the fact is, dogs and cats need a lot of things—shots, food, spaying or neutering, sometimes ongoing veterinary care. Those things aren’t cheap.
The three of us started walking down a paved, sloping drive, in the general direction of my car. I was musing, Justin and Gillian were signing.
“Hey, lady!” one of the groundskeepers called to me, loading tools into the back of a battered pickup truck. “We’re closing up for the night!”
I nodded. “On my way,” I called back.
We passed the old lady, fussing happily with her bouquet. She didn’t seem to notice us.
“She’s been in a good mood since the flowers came,” Justin informed me.
I drew up at the headstone where I’d first seen him, peered at the lettering.
He’d been dead for six years.
Where had he been all that time?
“Can I drop you off somewhere?” I asked, because I couldn’t just leave him there.
After giving the matter some serious thought, Justin came up with an address, and we all piled into the Volvo—Justin, Gillian and me. I recall a few curious glances from the groundskeepers when I opened the passenger door, flipped the seat forward so Gillian could climb in back and waited until Justin was settled up front.
I smiled and waved to the spectators.
The smile faded as I drove out of the cemetery, though.
I was busy trying to solve the great cosmic mysteries—life, death, the time-space continuum.
No Damn Fool’s Guide on that.
As it turned out, Justin lived—or had lived—in a modest, one-story rancher in one of the city’s many housing developments. I swear, every time I leave town, another one springs up. There were lights in the windows of the stucco house with the requisite red tile roof, though the shades were drawn, and an old collie lay curled up on the small concrete porch.
When we came to a stop at the curb, the dog got up and gave a halfhearted woof.
“Justin?” I said.
“Yeah?”
“This is your folks’ place, right?”
“It’s home,” he answered affably. Instead of opening the car door and getting out, he’d simply teleported himself to the sidewalk, leaning to speak to me through the open window on my side. The collie tottered slowly down the front steps. Its coat was thinning, and I saw lots of gray in it. “My mom lives here. My dad left a long time ago.”
Hope stirred. If his dad was dead, he might come looking for Justin, show him the way to the other side. He was sure taking his sweet time doing it, though.
“Your dad passed away?”
Justin shook his head. “No. He just decided he didn’t want to support a family.”
My spirits, already low, plummeted. I blinked a couple of times.
“Your mom…” I paused, swallowed, wanting to cry. Was the kid expecting a welcome-home party? “She probably won’t be able to see you, Justin.”
Justin nodded. “I know,” he said. “I just want to be where she is. See my old room and stuff. I couldn’t figure out how to get back here, that’s all.”
The dog was near now, and it made a little whimpering sound that must have been recognition, then toddled over to nuzzle the back of Justin’s hand.
“Hey,” he said. “Pepper can see me.”
“Not uncommon,” I told him, drawing on my enormous store of knowledge about the ins and outs of the afterlife. “Animals have special sensitivities.” I paused, gulped. “You’ll be okay, then?”
Justin grinned, and I had a sudden, piercing awareness of just how much his mother probably missed him. If I’d had the guts, I’d have knocked on her front door and told her straight out that her son was still around. That he still cared, still wanted to be close to her.
But I didn’t.
“What’s your name?” Justin asked after leaning down to pet the dog. “In case I need to contact you, or something?”
“Mojo Sheepshanks,” I said after briefly considering, I’m ashamed to admit, making up an alias.
“No shit?” he marveled. He stooped again, signed what was most likely a goodbye to Gillian and turned to walk away.
I sat at the curb watching as he and the dog, Pepper, headed for the house.
The front door opened, and a woman appeared on the threshold. I couldn’t make out her features, but her voice was nice.
“There you are, Pepper,” she called. “Come on inside now. Time for supper.”
She obviously didn’t see Justin, but he slipped past her, with Pepper, before she shut the door.
A lump formed in my throat.
The living-room drapes parted, and Justin’s mother looked out at me.
Strange car in the neighborhood.
Not a good thing.
I shoved the car into gear and drove away.
Gillian, meanwhile, had moved to the front seat.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not getting a dog,” I told her in a rush of words, careful to turn my face in her direction. “I live in my sister’s guesthouse. She’d have a fit.”
In that moment I was filled with a sudden and fierce yearning for my apartment. All right, I’d almost been murdered there. But it was my place, just the same. I could have a dog if I wanted. I could eat tamale pie for three days without feeling guilty—though stealing it would be trickier.
Did I mention that I never deliberately cook?
We made a detour, Gillian and I, and I zipped into a megabookstore to look for a Damn Fool’s Guide to Sign Language. Sure enough, there was one, complete with the hand alphabet and lots of illustrations. Inspired, I grabbed a second volume from the series, this one on popularity.