ADULTS
Emma Jane Unsworth
The Borough Press
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2020
Copyright © Emma Jane Unsworth 2020
Cover photograph © DEEPOL / PlainPicture
Cover design by Ellie Game © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2020
‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ © Paul Simon
Emma Jane Unsworth asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780008334598
Ebook Edition © JANUARY 2020 ISBN: 9780008334611
Version: 2019-11-27
To my mum, Lorraine.
Sail on, silvergirl
Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue: Soho Square
A Few Months Earlier: Hello, World!
Art Said
I Walk
They Say
In the Wings
They Say
I Post
They Say
A Womb of One’s Own
Therapy Session #1 (Dramatic Monologue)
Like of Duty
Picture the Scene
I Said
The Patatas Bravas
Kelly had Said
Sober Sexts
Ablutions
My Bathroom Said
Tipping Point
My Mother Said
I Was Eighteen
Art Said
Someone Says
A Really Bad Sign
Mia Says
I Walk
Knockknock
One-Liners
I Say
The Outrage
Baby Elephant
Art Said
My Mother Says
How I Met Kelly
Art Said
Art Said
What Lasts?
Bad Stand-Up
Ghostess with the Mostest
I Woke Up Like This
The Mind Creates the Abyss
I Adored
Art Said
You
Terms of Endearment
If
Art’s Mother Said
Full Desperate
Miserable Pho
Breathing for One
Popular Problems
On the Bus
Tabs
Granma Said
All My Circus, All My Monkeys
Burnout
Therapy Session #2
App Idea
Look No Hands
Hi Hi Hi
Back at Home
Exhibits A and B
Good Famous People
My Mother
Still
Life
We’d Gone
‘Funny’
Outgrown
Art Said
Bodies of Work
Kelly Said
Fake News
Google Me
Social Caterpillar
Really Tho
Deals with Strangers
News Item
Nicolette Says
Half an Hour Later
Ass Fizz
That Night
It Happened to Happen