She carried her decaf coffee over to the balcony doors. She drew back the curtains and rested her head on the glass as she gazed out at the moonlit night and let the memories flood back. Of course they were all about Lucas. She couldn’t seem to keep thoughts of him out of her head. She hadn’t expected Moose River to stir her memory quite so much.
What would he be looking at right now? Where would he be?
Probably living at Bondi Beach, running a chain of organic cafés with his gorgeous bikini-model wife, she thought. They would have three blue-eyed children and together his family would look like an advertisement for the wonders of fresh air and exercise and healthy living.
But maybe life hadn’t been so kind to him. Why should it have been? Why should he be glowing with health and happiness?
Perhaps he was working in a hotel restaurant in the Swiss Alps and had grown fat from over-indulging in cheese and chocolate. He could be overweight with a receding hairline. Would that make her feel better?
What was it she wanted to feel better about? she wondered. It didn’t matter where Lucas was or what he was doing. That was history. She’d woken up to herself in the intervening years. Woken up to real life. And he wasn’t part of that life. He was fantasy, not reality. Not her reality anyway.
Jess shook herself. She needed to get a grip. Her situation was entirely of her own choosing and she wouldn’t change it for anything, not if it meant losing Lily.
She sighed as she finished her coffee. Her father had been right. Lucas hadn’t been her Prince Charming and he wasn’t ever coming to rescue her. Wherever he had ended up, she imagined it was far from here.
Their first fortnight in Moose River went smoothly. Lily settled in well at her new school. She was thriving and Jess was thrilled. She loved the after-school ski lessons and Jess was looking forward to getting out on the slopes with her this weekend and seeing how much she’d improved in just ten days. It was amazing how quickly children picked up the basics.
She wondered about Lily’s fearless attitude. If Lily wanted something she went after it, so different from Jess’s reticence. Was that nature or nurture?
Jess had vowed to give Lily freedom—freedom to make her own friends and experience a childhood where she was free to test the boundaries without constant supervision or rules. A childhood without the constant underlying sense that things could, would and did go wrong and where everything had to be micromanaged.
Moose River was, so far, proving to be the perfect place for Lily to have a relaxed childhood and Jess was beginning to feel like she’d made a good decision. Lily had made friends quickly and her new best friend was Annabel, whose parents owned the patisserie next to their apartment building. By the second week the girls had a routine where Lily would go home with Annabel after ski school and have a hot chocolate at the bakery while they waited for Jess to finish work. Jess had been nervous about this at first but she’d reminded herself that this was a benefit of moving to a small community. She’d wanted that sense of belonging. That sense that people would look out for each other. She wanted somewhere where she and Lily would fit in.
Initially she’d felt like they were taking advantage of Annabel’s mother but Fleur was adamant that it was no bother. Annabel had two older siblings and Fleur insisted that having Lily around was making life easier for everyone as Annabel was too busy to annoy the others. Jess hated asking for favours, she preferred to feel she could manage by herself even if she knew that wasn’t always the case, but she was grateful for Fleur’s assistance.
Her new job as a clinic nurse was going just as smoothly as Lily’s transition. Her role was easy. She helped with splints, dressings, immunisations and did general health checks—cholesterol, blood pressure and the like. It was routine nursing, nothing challenging, but that suited her. It was low stress and by the end of the two weeks she was feeling confident that coming here had been the right decision for her and Lily.
Not having to work weekends or take extra shifts to cover rent or child-care costs was paying dividends. She could be home with Lily in time for dinner and spend full, uninterrupted days with her over the weekends. It was heaven. Jess adored her daughter and she’d dreamt of being able to spend quality time with her. Just the two of them. It was something she hadn’t experienced much in her own childhood and she was determined that Lily would have that quality time with her. After all, they only had each other.
She checked her watch as she tidied her clinic room and got ready to go home. Kristie was coming up for the weekend—in fact, she should already be here. She was changing the sheet on the examination bed when Donna, the practice manager, burst into the room.
‘Jess, do you think you could possibly work a little later today? We’ve had a call from the new hotel, one of their guests is almost thirty-six weeks pregnant and she’s having contractions. It might just be Braxton-Hicks but they’d like someone to take a look and all the doctors are busy. Do you think you could go?’
‘Let me make some arrangements for Lily and then I’ll get over there,’ Jess said when Donna finally paused for breath. Jess was happy to go, provided she could sort Lily out. She rang Kristie as she swapped her shoes for boots and explained the situation as she grabbed her coat and the medical bag that Donna had given to her.
Thank God Kristie was in town, she thought as she rang Fleur to tell her of the change in plans. Of course, Fleur then offered to help too but Jess didn’t want to push the friendship at this early stage. She explained that Kristie would collect Lily and take her home. She could concentrate on the emergency now. It was always a balancing act, juggling parenting responsibilities with her work, but it seemed she might have the support network here that she’d lacked anywhere else.
Jess hurried the few blocks to Main Street. The five-star, boutique Moose River Crystal Lodge, where her patient was a guest, was the new hotel on the Plaza, the one she’d noticed on the night they’d arrived. She and Lily had walked past it several times since. It was hard to miss. It wasn’t huge or ostentatious but it was in a fabulous position, and she’d heard it was beautifully appointed inside.
In the late-afternoon light, the setting sun cast a glow onto the facade of the lodge, making its marble facade shine a pale silver. On the southern side of the main entrance was an elevated outdoor seating area, which would be the perfect spot for an afternoon drink on a sunny day; you could watch the activities in the plaza from the perfect vantage point.
A wide footpath connected the lodge to the plaza and in front of the hotel stood a very placid horse who was hitched to a smart red wooden sleigh. Lily had begged to go for a ride when they had walked past earlier in the week but Jess had fibbed and told her it was for hotel guests only because she doubted she could afford the treat. She had meant to find out how much it cost, thinking maybe it could be a Christmas surprise for Lily, but she had forgotten all about it until now.
She walked past the horse and sleigh and tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that was so familiar to her as a single, working mother, struggling to make ends meet, but walking into the lobby just reinforced how much her life had changed from one of privilege to one much harder but she reminded herself it was of her own choosing.
The lobby was beautifully decorated in dark wood. Soft, caramel-hued leather couches were grouped around rich Persian rugs and enormous crystal chandeliers hung from the timber ceiling. It looked expensive and luxurious but welcoming. Although it was still four weeks until Christmas, festive red, green and silver decorations adorned the room and a wood fire warmed the restaurant where wide glass doors could open out onto the outside terrace. Jess tried not to gawk as she crossed the parquet floor. She’d seen plenty of fancy hotels but this one had a warmth and a charm about it that was rare. Maybe because it was small, but it felt more like an exclusive private ski lodge than a hotel.
She shrugged out of her coat as she approached