Never meant to stay. Too big for his needs. Savannah’s head spun.
He’d never meant to stay.
Nothing he said made sense. Not to her way of thinking. Not to the promises she’d seen in his eyes, felt in his touch.
“You’ve always known you’d leave Chattanooga?”
She liked Chattanooga. The mountains. The river. The nightlife. The people. The town. She liked it. Chattanooga was home, where she wanted to be.
“I’ve never stayed in one place more than a few years and even once I’m in Nashville, if the opportunity comes along to further my career elsewhere, I’ll move.”
Her brain didn’t seem to be processing anything correctly. Perhaps it was baby brain. Perhaps it was that he’d dropped the bottom out of her world.
“This is about your career?” she asked slowly, trying to make sure she understood what he was saying.
Because she didn’t understand anything he was saying.
He was happy in Chattanooga. Why would he willingly leave? Why hadn’t she known he planned to leave some day?
“I’ve taken a teaching and research position at the university and a prestigious position at the hospital. It’s a great opportunity.”
What he said registered. Sort of. “You’re moving to Nashville?”
He nodded. “The hospital is offering a relocation package. Hopefully, I’ll find something to buy or rent within the next few weeks so I can be settled in prior to starting.”
“Hopefully,” she mumbled a little sarcastically.
He was leaving. Not once had he said a word to her about the possibility that he might leave. Not once had he mentioned that he was looking for another job. That he’d consider another job even if it was handed to him on a silver platter.
He’d made the decision without even discussing it with her. Her mother, family, and friends were here. She didn’t want to move to Nashville. Upset didn’t begin to cover it.
“I don’t want to live two hours away from the man I’m dating,” she pointed out what she thought should be obvious. “I like that I see you every morning, that we work out together, that I get to see you from time to time at work, that I get to grab dinner with you, that you get to kiss me goodnight almost every single night.” Did she sound whiny? If so, too bad. She felt whiny. And angry. How could he take a job in Nashville? “That’s not going to happen if you’re in Nashville and I’m in Chattanooga. Do you expect me to just sit around waiting for you to have time to come home or that I’m going to be commuting back and forth to Nashville between shifts?”
He regarded her for long moments, his expression guarded. “I don’t expect you to do either.”
What he was saying hit her.
A knife twisted in her heart and she instantly rejected the idea.
That couldn’t be what he meant.
Of course that was what he was saying. That he’d not even mentioned he was thinking about moving, about taking a different job, that she hadn’t warranted that tidbit of information, spoke volumes. He was breaking up with her.
“You’ve never mentioned that you planned to move.” Her words sounded lame even to herself. So what? She was reeling.
Reeling.
Maybe he meant for her to go with him. Maybe he wasn’t ending things. Maybe she’d jumped to all the wrong conclusions when he’d said he was leaving. Maybe he looked so stressed because he was worried she wouldn’t go with him.
The reality was she didn’t want to move to Nashville. She loved her job and coworkers at Chattanooga Memorial Hospital. She wanted to stay in her hometown, to be near her family, her friends, all the things that were familiar. She wanted to raise her baby near her home, where her child would grow up knowing her family and being surrounded by their love.
Her baby.
She was pregnant.
Charlie was leaving.
With obvious annoyance, he crossed his arms. “I never mentioned that I planned to stay, either.”
Ouch. Had she seen blood oozing from her chest, she wouldn’t have been surprised. His comment wounded that much.
“No,” she began, wondering how she could have been so terribly wrong about his feelings.
His eyes were narrowed, his tone almost accusing. “Nor have I ever implied that I would stay.”
He was right. He hadn’t. She’d been the one to make assumptions. Very wrong assumptions.
Her silence must have gotten to him because he paced across the room, then turned to her with a reproving look.
“Good grief, Savannah. I’ve taken a job that’s a wonderful opportunity. Be happy for me.”
Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Instead of telling him what he wanted to hear, she shook her head. “No, I’m not going to say I’m happy for you. Not when this news came about the way it did. We’ve been involved for months. You should have told me you planned to move. I deserved a warning about something so big. For that matter, we should have discussed this before you made that decision.”
His jaw worked back and forth. “I don’t have to have your permission to move or take a different job, Savannah.”
If she weren’t sitting on the sofa, she’d likely have staggered back from his verbal blow. Truly, there must be a gaping hole in her chest because her very heart had been yanked from her body. “Agreed. You don’t.”
“I never meant for you to think I’d stay in Chattanooga, or that I wanted to stay.”
She interpreted that as he’d never meant for her to assume he was going to stay, or want to stay, with her.
She’d been such a fool. She’d believed he loved her, had believed the light in his eyes when he looked at her was love, the real deal. She’d just seen what she’d wanted to see. Whatever that look had been, she’d never seen or felt it with past boyfriends. Maybe she’d mistaken phenomenal sexual chemistry with love. She wouldn’t be the first woman to have done so in the history of the world.
Devastation and anger competed for priority in her betrayed head.
She met his gaze and refused to look away, despite how much staring into his dark eyes hurt. They were ending. She’d thought everything had been so perfect and he’d been planning their end. “I think you should leave,” she began, knowing that she wasn’t going to be able to hold her grief in much longer and not wanting him to witness her emotional breakdown.
She was going to break down. Majorly.
He started to say something but, shoulders straight, chin tilted upward, she stopped him.
“That you made this decision without involving me tells me everything I need to know about our relationship, Charlie. We aren’t on the same page and apparently never were. My bad. Now that I know we don’t want the same things from our relationship, there is no relationship. I want you to leave. We’re through.”
There. She’d been the first one to say the words out loud. Sure, he’d been dancing all around the truth of it, but she’d put them out there.
Not once since she’d seen that little blue line appear had she considered that he wouldn’t be happy about the news...that he wouldn’t be there for their child.
That he wouldn’t be there, period.