“I’m hoping to finish it in June. Red, white and blue quilts always sell well in the summer.”
“Speaking of this time of year...” He looked down at Ruby. “Pretty soon you and I will be watching rodeos on Friday nights. Sounds fun, huh?”
Her eyes gleamed almost aqua as she nodded up at him. The sight touched Amy.
“I can’t wait for cotton candy and barbecues.” He rubbed his stomach. “Mmm-mmm. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. In fact, I’d better get something in my tummy before it growls and scares the neighbors. I’ll be heading over to The Beanery. Text me if you need me.”
He kissed the top of Ruby’s head. Then he nodded to Amy. “I’ll be back in an hour. You girls have fun.”
As soon as the door clicked behind him, Amy let out a sigh of relief. She couldn’t help it. The room felt more spacious, less combustible without him there. She brought her palms together and turned her attention to Ruby.
“I have a ton of markers. Why don’t we color?”
Ruby gazed intently at the door, her face white as a fresh snowfall.
“He’ll be back before you know it.” Amy tried to reassure her by gently taking her hand, but Ruby yanked it out of her grasp. Her lips trembled, grew blue around the edges. Tremors shook her shoulders. The poor thing was petrified!
Amy knelt beside her. “Ruby, what’s wrong? It’s okay. You’re safe with me.”
Her eyes were so wide, so fixed on the door. Amy clearly wasn’t getting through to her. What should she do? The way Ruby had flinched at her touch, Amy didn’t want to scare her further, but she had to divert her attention away from the door.
Why was she so upset? Nash told her he’d be back in an hour. The child knew he was going down the street to the coffee shop.
Amy stood up, raising her face to the ceiling. What now? Whatever was going through Ruby’s mind was so frightening, she couldn’t move.
“Honey, why don’t we go get a hot chocolate with your dad?”
Ruby blinked, shivering. Then she looked away from the door at Amy. Tears began to drip from her eyes to her cheeks. She didn’t say anything. Simply nodded.
Amy tried not to let her disappointment show as she helped Ruby into her hoodie. Whatever had happened to this girl in the past had clearly traumatized her. Nash had mentioned neglect and malnourishment, and Amy had brushed over those words as if they hadn’t mattered. She should have paid more attention. She’d been so caught up in her own past she hadn’t asked the necessary questions.
The psychological damage must have cut deep. Was Amy qualified for this?
She led Ruby to the staircase. “Hold my hand, okay?”
Ruby tucked her tiny hand in Amy’s. The gesture pinched her heart. If only she could help this girl. She needed more information. And that meant, as much as she didn’t want to, she’d have to find a way to meet privately with Nash.
* * *
The coffee was perfect—strong with a kick to it. Same as he liked his bulls. He grinned at his own inside joke. The Beanery was quiet. He hadn’t been in here before. Looked new, rustic. Smelled great, too. He took a drink. Leaving Ruby hadn’t been too bad. She hadn’t thrown a fit or anything. So why couldn’t he dismiss the nagging worry in his brain?
He smacked his forehead. He hadn’t stopped to ask Ruby if she wanted to stay. He’d just left.
He should have asked her. Why hadn’t he thought to ask her? His knee was bouncing triple time. Get yourself together, man.
He checked his watch. He’d been gone seven minutes. Fifty-three minutes to go. It was times like these that made him wish he was a reader. A book would help pass the time.
The door clanged open, and Ruby raced to him, her face beaming. A lead weight dropped in his gut. If they were here and it had only been seven minutes, the visit couldn’t have gone well.
He swung her onto his lap and gave her a big smile. She didn’t need to know his emotions were churning. “To what do I owe this pleasure? I thought I was picking you up in an hour.” He noted the tear stains down her cheeks and fought back a groan. “You were worried I’d be lonely, weren’t you? That’s awfully nice of you to be thinking of me.”
She rested her cheek against his chest, and he brushed her hair from her face, holding her tightly. Amy stood behind the chair across the table. He mouthed, “What happened?”
She shook her head quickly and mouthed, “Later.”
“Can I get you a hot chocolate, Ruby?” Amy asked. “With whipped cream?”
Ruby nodded. If she wasn’t so fragile, he’d remind her of her manners. But right now please and thank you were the least of his worries. If he couldn’t leave her with Amy for ten minutes, would he ever be able to leave her anywhere?
A vision came to mind of kindergarten in another year, and instead of Ruby waving happily as she walked into school with a backpack and a lunchbox, he saw her trembling, crying, unable to enter. Some of the bull riders’ wives homeschooled their little ones. Would he be forced to do the same?
Homeschooling?
Him?
The coffee threatened to come up. He didn’t think he had it in him to homeschool. Maybe he should call the therapist.
“Here you go.” Amy beamed at Ruby as she set the cup down. Nash could see the worry in her exquisite brown eyes. And he recognized her tic from all those years ago—she rubbed her index finger and thumb together whenever she was out of her element. For a second he felt sorry for her. Wanted to make it better, like old times.
Old times. The best days of his life. Even better than winning his first Professional Bull Riders World Championship at the age of twenty-three. Every minute with Amy had been like a dream.
Ruby reached for the cup and licked the whipped cream.
Amy smiled, scrunching her nose at the girl. He had to avert his gaze at all the affection in her expression. He used to be the recipient of it. The past ten years suddenly felt bleaker than he remembered them.
“I was wondering,” Amy said, tracing the rim of her mug, “would you two mind if I came over later? I’ve never seen your house.” She gave Nash a charged look, and he instantly understood. They needed to talk but not with Ruby around. And the only place they could reasonably expect privacy was in Ruby’s domain.
“Sure.” He knew she was going to back out of their arrangement, and he didn’t blame her. He suppressed a sigh. “How about seven-thirty?”
“Great.” She sipped her cocoa. “How is it, Ruby? Chocolaty enough?”
“Mmm.” She sat on his lap, happily slurping her cocoa. He had to hand it to the kid—she bounced back quickly. His spirits sank, realizing how much hope he’d put into Ruby spending time with a woman. Would take some of the pressure off him. Not to mention, he hadn’t had more than a minute to himself while Ruby was awake since the day he took custody. If she couldn’t handle being with someone as nice as Amy for short periods, what chance did he have at giving her a normal childhood?
Amy began talking about the daily coffee flavors, and they chatted about other changes in the town. Anyone who walked by would think they were having a pleasant visit. A couple of old friends catching up. And he was glad she could be civil, even if they’d never be friends.
By the time they’d all finished their drinks, he didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t begged for anything since he was a small boy, but thinking about Ruby’s future made him desperate enough to contemplate begging Amy to reconsider.
He just wished he had another choice.
*