His words swept over her. “To be honest, El, I’ve been somewhat that way, too.”
He nodded while a faint crooked grin grew on his face. “I sensed that, Nina. You know, whatever happened in your past is just that. It’s passed. Ahead of you is a future, but you have to participate in it.” He stopped and shook his head. “This is just ramblings of an old man, but sometimes I see things and...” He sat a moment his head hanging. “I see you and sense you have regrets and sorrows that you’re clinging to. Ask yourself if they’re worth it.”
Worth it? Though his first words rankled, she forced herself to listen, and a sense of possibility hung over her, nebulous but there.
“Please forgive me. How you live your life is none of my business. Birdie got in trouble nosing around other people’s lives, and I’m doing the same thing.”
She touched his arm and squeezed. “El, you’re not a gossip. You’re not spreading rumors. You’re talking to me like a father might. That’s something I never had.” The admission spilled ice water through her body. “You’re right. I had a bad marriage, and I have other issues that formed my judgment. Marrying again is basically not a possibility. I guess the reality makes me a little empty...and what you just said. Lonely.”
“Nothing could be so bad it stops you from falling in love again. Are you sure marriage is out of the question?”
His tender look rent her heart. “I’m sure. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about it. I know how I feel, and I think that’s how it will be.” Without warning, her gaze flashed back down the block toward Doug’s. Her pulse skipped when she spotted him outside with Kimmy.
“Then I’ll pray for you to find an answer to your problem, Nina. Do you pray?”
His question stopped her. She almost felt ashamed to answer him. “I’ve never learned to pray.”
“You don’t learn it, Nina. What are we doing right now?”
She eyed him, trying to decipher what he meant. Thoughts surged. They had talked about the flowers, her attitude toward marriage. “We’ve talked about a lot of things.”
“Yes. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” Her head spun. “Talking?”
“Yep. Prayer is just talking to God. Tell Him about your day. Ask Him for answers to your questions. Thank Him for His blessings. And then listen.”
“Listen? That’s the thing about prayer I don’t understand. God doesn’t speak. They say He’s there. You know, sort of like the wind is there. We can’t see it, but we feel it or we can see what it does.”
“Yep, you got it. You can’t see Him, but you can feel Him if you open your heart, but then that takes trust.”
“It’s hard to trust something or someone you don’t know.” She brushed a curl from her face.
“But it’s not impossible. Think about things that you trust even though you don’t know why or don’t have the details. You trust your employer will pay you. Why? Because he said he would.”
She shook her head. That was a given. Wasn’t it? Maybe not. “You trust the sun will come up in the morning. Even if it’s behind a cloud, you know it’s there.”
“But that’s nature. It’s always been that way.”
“So has God, Nina. He was there before the sun was made.”
A frown wrenched her face even though she tried to stop it.
“Do you have a Bible?”
Her back tensed. “No.”
“I have Margie’s. I think she’d like you to have it.”
“Margie?”
“My wife’s name. Marjorie. Most people called her Marge, but she was always Margie to me.” A tender sweetness spread across his face.
The look touched her. “El, I couldn’t take your wife’s Bible.”
“Why? She doesn’t need it, Nina. She’s sitting up there listening to the Lord, and He tells her all she needs to know. She’s in her glory.” He chuckled. “In her glory in Glory.” He nodded as if he’d settled on an agreement with himself.
“But it’s precious to you. A keepsake.”
“It’s more precious to me if someone’s using it.” He shifted on the seat, causing it to glide back and then forward. “Now I know you’re not a Bible reader, but if you have questions or if you’re curious, you can check the concordance and look up the exact topic you’d like to know about.”
“You mean an index?”
He pushed himself forward again but this time he rose. “You can call it that. It’s right inside. Hang on a minute.”
Before she could react, he headed toward the house on a mission. She’d never seen him move so fast. She lowered her head, sorting through all that had happened. Somehow she’d moved from flowers to faith without knowing how. Maybe that was one of those God things people talked about.
Guilt rattled up her spine. If she took his Bible, realizing she had little choice, what would make her read it? The possibility wavered over her.
“Here you go.”
She jerked, unaware El had returned.
He extended the worn-looking Bible, and not knowing how to refuse, she grasped it. Hoping to make him happy, she opened it to the back and flipped through the topics with verses listed underneath—hardship, loyalty, prayer. She turned the pages back. Faith. She eyed the long row of verses. The first she spotted was Matthew 17:22. She eyed the preview. He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth...” The example stopped her cold. What? What was the truth?
“Is something wrong, Nina?”
She drew her head upward. “No. Not at all. I was thinking, I guess.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I’m not rushing you. You have God’s Word in your hands if you have any questions, and though I don’t have all the answers, you’re always welcome to ask me anything.”
She rose, clutching the book, and gathered her wits. “Thank you, El. And I feel bad taking your—”
“It’s an honor, Nina. Margie is smiling in heaven.” His face brightened. “I know she’s smiling.”
How could she refuse his generous gift? “Thank you, El. May I kiss your cheek?”
“I’d love that, Nina.”
She leaned forward and pressed her lips on his soft cheek. “Thank you for everything. I’ll take your flower advice, and I promise... I’ll keep the book handy. I’m sure one day—”
“I’m sure you will.” His smile broadened. “I’m anxious to see those flowers, too.”
The best part for now was the flowers. She was anxious to get to a nursery. Most plants were probably on sale, she hoped, and she’d save money as well as adorn her flower beds.
Hope. That had been a rare word in her vocabulary, but El’s certainty that she would read the Bible made her grin. That was hope. And she had faith, too, but different. If she planted flowers in the fall, she had faith they would blossom in the spring or summer.
She tucked the Bible under her arm and headed down the sidewalk, aware that Doug and Kimmy were on the other side. Although her mind was as ragged as it had been when she stepped outside, a sense of peace had sneaked into her being. Though it would be short-lived,