‘Why on earth do you feel guilty?’ Tina looked puzzled.
‘Because tomorrow it’ll be a year and a day—the last traditional day of mourning—and over those last months Tom said to me quite a few times that he didn’t want me to be alone and grieving for him. He said he wanted me to live a happy life with someone who loves me as much as he did.’
‘Now you’re putting a lump in my throat.’ Tina hugged her. ‘Though he’s right—you’re still young. In fact, at twenty-nine you’re practically a baby.’
Ruby laughed. There were all of six months between them, with Ruby being one of the youngest in their academic year and Tina one of the oldest. ‘Thirty’s not exactly old, Tina.’
‘No.’ Tina looked at her. ‘Rubes, are you saying you want to date again?’
‘I love Tom—I always will—but I think I’m ready to move on. Scattering his ashes today felt a lot like closure,’ Ruby said. ‘But is everyone going to think I’m heartless and I should wait a lot longer before even thinking about moving on?’
‘No. Some people will probably mutter about it being too soon,’ Tina said, ‘but remember that you can’t please all of the people all of the time, so don’t let that get to you. It’s none of their business. You’re the only one who can really say when you’re ready.’
‘I guess.’ Ruby bit her lip. ‘I just…’ She shook her head and sighed. ‘Sorry.’
‘As you said, Tom wanted you to be happy and he wanted you to find someone else. You have his blessing, and you don’t need anyone else’s.’
Even if I fell for his best friend?
But Ruby couldn’t quite bring herself to ask that. She’d barely admitted it to herself and she still needed time to get used to the idea.
‘You know, we’ve got a new registrar in Neurology. He’s a nice guy. Single. New to London. Maybe…’ Tina let the suggestion hang in the air.
‘Maybe,’ Ruby said.
‘Don’t make a decision now. Just think about it,’ Tina said gently. ‘In the meantime, I think we need a feel-good film and more cake.’
‘Brilliant idea. Let’s do it,’ Ruby said, and ushered her best friend into the living room.
But she found it hard to concentrate on the film, because she couldn’t stop thinking about Ellis. Ellis, with his haunted grey eyes. Ellis, who had itchy feet but had stayed in one place for the longest time since his training, specifically to be there for her.
Her husband’s best friend.
What if…?
RUBY EXAMINED MRS HARRIS GENTLY.
‘So is everything OK?’ Mrs Harris asked anxiously.
‘I’m happy with how you’re doing,’ Ruby said, ‘but we do have a tiny complication, in that your little one is quite happy being bottom-down rather than top-down. So I just want a quick chat with the doctor to talk through your options for the birth.’
Mrs Harris bit her lip. ‘So the baby’s in the wrong position?’
‘Bottom-first rather than head-first—it’s called being a breech baby,’ Ruby explained. ‘It’s a really common position in early pregnancy, but the baby usually turns by itself into the head-first position before birth. Your baby hasn’t turned yet, that’s all.’
‘Does it mean there’s something wrong with the baby?’ Mrs Harris asked.
‘No. It happens with about three in a hundred babies, and there are all kinds of reasons for it, some of them being plain baby awkwardness because they want to do things their way rather than follow their mum’s birth plan,’ Ruby reassured her. ‘I’ll just go and get Dr Webster, and then we can talk it through with him.’ She squeezed Mrs Harris’s hand. ‘Try not to worry. There are a few things we can do to persuade the baby to turn.’ She smiled, and went to find Ellis in his office.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. Ellis was wearing a charcoal grey suit, a white shirt and an understated tie rather than green Theatre scrubs, and he looked utterly gorgeous. He wouldn’t have looked out of place on the pages of a glossy magazine as a model for an upmarket perfume house.
And she needed to stop herself thinking like this. Ellis was her friend and her colleague. Asking for more was just greedy.
She tapped on the open door and leaned against the jamb. ‘Hey, Ellis. Can I borrow you for a second?’
He looked up and smiled at her, and her heart skipped another beat.
‘Sure. Problem?’ he asked.
‘Complication,’ she said. ‘I have a first-time mum who’s thirty-seven weeks. Her baby’s quite happily settled in the breech position. I know her birth plan is firmly centred round a natural birth with no intervention.’ And she also knew that a lot of doctors would take one look at Mrs Harris’s situation and immediately insist on a caesarean section. Given Ellis’s experience outside the hospital, Ruby really hoped that he’d take a different tack and give Mrs Harris a chance to have the birth she really wanted. ‘So I wondered if you’d mind coming and chatting through her options for the birth,’ she finished.
‘Of course I will. You did warn her that babies never respect their mum’s birth plans, didn’t you?’
She smiled back. ‘I always do.’
‘So what are you thinking?’
‘We’ll start with an ECV to see if we can get the baby to turn,’ Ruby said. ‘But, if it doesn’t work, I’m hoping that I can talk one of the obstetricians—’ she gave him a pointed look so he’d know she meant him ‘—into agreeing to a trial of labour for a vaginal breech delivery.’
‘I think we’ve only had a couple on the ward since I’ve been here, and I wasn’t on duty at the time,’ Ellis said. ‘Are the doctors here not supportive of vaginal breech births?’
‘Theo’s wonderful,’ Ruby said. Theo Petrakis, the director of the maternity ward at the London Victoria, believed in supporting his midwives and keeping intervention to a minimum. ‘But, as you say, it’s not that common—and I need someone who’s had a reasonable amount of experience in delivering breech babies.’
‘Which is why you’re talking to me?’
She gave him her sweetest smile. ‘Got it in one.’
‘She’s a first-time mum, so we have no guarantee that her pelvis is big enough to cope.’ Ellis looked thoughtful. ‘OK. If ECV doesn’t work then—on condition the baby’s not too big or small, the baby’s head isn’t tilted back and I’m happy that the mum’s pelvis is going to cope—I’ll support you and you can call me in, even if I’m not on duty when she goes into labour. But in return I need a favour from you.’
Ruby’s heart skipped yet another beat. What was he going to ask for?
A kiss?
She shook herself mentally. How ridiculous. She really had to stop fantasising about Ellis. This was totally inappropriate. They were at work, and she needed to keep her professionalism to the forefront. ‘Sure. What do you want?’
‘I’d like you to talk your mum into letting a couple of the junior staff observe their first ever breech birth. One midwife, one doctor.’
‘Great minds think alike. I was going