He disapproved of the choices this little one’s mother had made, but none of that disapproval spilled over onto this new life. Settling her into the crook of his arm, he marveled at how tiny she was and yet how complete. The cares and worries of his day slipped away. A softness nestled itself around his heart. What would it be like to hold a child of his own? Would he ever know? Rachel yawned and he smiled at her.
“Ah, I was right. You just wanted someone to cuddle you. I know a thing or two about wee ones. You’re not the first babe I’ve held.”
Babies certainly weren’t new to him. He’d rocked nephews aplenty. He raised her slightly to make her more comfortable.
“My sisters think nothing of plopping a babe in my arms so they’re free to help Mamm with canning or gardening, but I know what they’re up to,” he whispered to the cute baby he held.
“They think if I’m reminded how wonderful children are I’ll start going to the Sunday night singings again and court a wife of my own. They don’t see that I’m not ready for that.”
He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready to trust his heart to someone again. If that time did come, it would only be with a woman he was certain shared his love of God and his Plain faith.
“Once burned, twice shy, as the English say,” he confided to his tiny listener.
He waited for the anger to surface but it didn’t. For the first time in over a year he was able to think about his broken engagement without bitterness. Maybe the sweet-smelling babe in his arms had brought with her a measure of God’s peace for him. To her, life was new and good and shouldn’t be tainted with the sins of the past.
He began to sing a soft lullaby in his native tongue. Rachel stared back at him intently for a few minutes, but she eventually grew discontent with his voice and the fingers she couldn’t quite get in her mouth. Her little fussing noises became a full-fledged cry.
“I guess I can’t fix what ails you after all. I reckon I’ll have to wake your mother.”
“I’m awake.” Katie’s low voice came from the bed.
He looked over to find her watching him with dark eyes as beautiful and intense as her daughter’s. How long had she been listening to him?
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