NATE stretched his leg out and practiced some of the exercises he was supposed to be doing, in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure in his head. It didn’t work. Instead, he ended up with a throbbing leg and his head pounded harder than before.
He needed to find something else to do, something to focus on, but right now it was too easy to sit under the tree in the shade and think. And the fact he could see Sarah in the distance wasn’t motivating him to move, either.
He could see her talking to his sister Jess’s husband. Johnny was clearly gifted with horses; he could tell that from watching him for only a few minutes. Sarah was leaning against the rail of the corral, one hand on the head of her dog, the other keeping her balanced. He was waiting to see her mount the young horse, to see if she was still as talented in the saddle as she’d been when they were younger. Back then, she’d been easily as good as any of the boys.
“Nate.” A gruff voice commanded his attention.
He turned and looked up to see his brother standing behind him, fingers rammed through the loops of his jeans.
“Holt,” he replied.
His brother stared off into the distance. It was obvious that he’d been caught out looking at Sarah.
“We see more of Sarah these days than we did for a long while,” Holt told him.
Nate tried to act disinterested, but the reality was that he was anything but disinterested. Seeing Sarah again had made something within him, something he hadn’t felt in a long time, stir to life again. No matter how hard he was trying to force it back down.
“She having her horse broken in here?” Nate asked. He knew from the letters Jess had sent him that her new husband was something of a horse whisperer, but he’d never had the chance to get to know him.
Holt dropped to his haunches, plucking at a blade of grass and avoiding eye contact. Suited Nate fine. The last thing he wanted was to be interrogated again.
“Johnny’s giving her a hand. It’s nice to see her smiling again.”
Nate raised an eyebrow in question, met his brother’s gaze when he looked up.
“You don’t know about her and Todd, do you?” Holt asked.
Nate shook his head, slowly. “What do I need to know about her and Todd?” He hated the guy, even though he couldn’t blame him. Sarah had married one of his best friends, and he’d never forgiven either of them.
“Look, Nate,” Holt began, standing up again and fidgeting like the last thing he wanted was to have a conversation about Sarah and her husband. “Todd’s out of the picture, that’s all I’m saying. I thought you’d want to know, but if you want details, then I think you should ask Sarah. It’s her story to tell.”
Nate couldn’t help the frown that took over his mouth. “So you’re fine with telling me her marriage is over but you’re not going to tell me what happened and why?”
Holt sighed. It wasn’t something he remembered his brother doing often. “Nate, there’s no reason to go jumping down my throat. I just don’t think it’s my place to tell you, okay?”
He swallowed what felt like a rock. Tried to channel his focus into the dull thud in his leg, anything other than ripping into his brother again.
“I’m sorry.” Nate choked out the apology, knowing he’d been a jerk.
Holt held up his hands. “Yeah, I’m sorry, too. I just thought that if there was any unfinished business between you—”
“There’s not,” Nate interrupted, hearing the sharpness of his own tone.
He watched the expression change on his brother’s face and hated that they were acting like strangers. Or maybe Holt wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, but he sure was. They’d been as close as brothers could be once, had spent day after day together, been inseparable. Like his buddies in the army, Holt had always been there for him no matter what, and vice versa.
But now Nate had changed so much he didn’t know if he’d ever be that brother to any of his siblings. Not ever again.
Holt walked backward, but he’d turned before Nate could apologize again, and he didn’t even know where to begin, anyway.
So Sarah and Todd were over. He looked down and watched her, realizing it was she who was on the horse’s back now. Elegant as ever, sitting straight and comfortable in the saddle, at ease with what she was doing.
He didn’t need to know that Sarah wasn’t spoken for any longer. He didn’t need to watch her, or talk to her, or anything her now that he was back home. He had his family to deal with, twin siblings that he hadn’t even met yet and a bunch of memories that kept him from slumber night after night after night.
Yet his legs were throbbing not from the pain right now, but from a desperate need to cross the field and seek out Sarah.
Just like he had as a lovesick teenager twelve years ago when he’d first seen her taking a riding lesson in the same corral she was in now.
Sarah nudged the young mare on. It was her first solo ride on Maddie, but she was responding beautifully, even leading the other horse beside them.
She gulped, trying not to think too hard about what she was doing. The last thing she needed was for Maddie to feel her nervousness and think it had something to do with their ride.
He was still there. The young man she’d known to never stand still for more than a moment, not able to stay in the same place because there was always something to do, was sitting where she’d left him, leaning against the tree like he had no purpose.
Sarah didn’t bother calling out to him, because even though his head was down she knew he’d have heard her. Instead, she walked the horses straight over to him, never taking her eyes from his lone figure.
She’d been wallowing in her own self-pity, thinking she’d been hard done by. Seeing Nate and the change in him told her what she’d been through was nothing in comparison.
“Let’s go, cowboy,” Sarah ordered once she reached him, in a voice far more confident than she felt inside.
Nate’s gaze made her smile wobble. It was as if a storm had brewed within him and was searching to exit through his eyes—eyes that had once been soft and loving now tumultuous and dangerous.
“You want me to ride?”
She held out the reins to the horse. It was one of Johnny’s own, and he’d promised she’d be nice and quiet. Sarah had no idea how long it had been since Nate had ridden.
“It’ll do us both good,” she assured him.
Nate shook his head, before pulling his hat back over his short crop of hair, stretching and standing. “In case you haven’t noticed,” he said in a voice laced with ice, “I’m not exactly capable these days.”
Sarah forced herself to look into his eyes, to not be scared off by his behavior. If he was trying to push her away, to make her scurry back to where she’d come from, then he was doing a darn good job. Except for the fact he was forgetting how determined she had to be with the kids in her classroom. Bullying and bad behavior didn’t get her pupils anywhere, and just because he was a wounded soldier didn’t mean he was going to get any special treatment.
“So you limp? I can see that for myself without you pointing it out, but I wouldn’t have thought you’d let it stop you.” Sarah’s hands were shaking but she wasn’t backing down. This was Nate, for goodness’ sake!
“Sarah …”
“No, Nate, no,” she insisted. “You can ride without stirrups, whatever, but I think it’ll do you good.”
He squinted up at her, his face showing