But she wasn’t going to keep the baby.
And she’d hold firm on that.
For her sanity.
Finally he shook his head. “That poor baby is very fortunate that you will not be her mother.”
The contempt caused Ella to bristle. “I agreed to be a surrogate—not a mother.”
“Right now you’re the only mother that baby has—you’re the legal mother.”
God.
This was never supposed to have happened. She stuck her hands under the bedcovers and rested them on the unfamiliar flatness of her belly. After so many months of having a mound, it felt so odd. Empty.
And, with the baby no longer moving inside, so dead.
Why had she ever offered to donate her eggs—and lend her womb—to create the baby her sister had so desperately wanted?
The answer was simple. She loved her sister… she couldn’t bear to see Keira suffer.
Ah, damn. The road to hell was paved with good intentions. Now look where it had landed her—in an entanglement that was anything but simple. Ella knew that if she wasn’t careful, the situation had the potential to cause her more pain… more hurt… than any she’d ever experienced before. The only way through the turbulent situation was to keep her emotional distance from the baby—not to allow herself to form that miraculous mother-baby bond that was so tenuous, yet had the strength of steel.
But there was no need to offer any explanation to the insensitive brute who towered over the hospital bed.
Rubbing her hand over her strangely flat stomach, Ella pursed her lips. “I’m well aware that I’m her legal mother.”
Mother. Just one word and her heart started to bump roughly. She couldn’t keep the baby. She couldn’t.
Carefully, deliberately she reiterated, “It was never the plan for me to remain her mother. This. Is. Not. My. Baby.”
It felt better to spell it out so firmly.
The surrogate agreement had been signed, the adoption proceedings had been started. All that needed to happen to formalize the situation had been to get through the twelve-day cooling-off period the New Zealand adoption laws provided. Once that period had passed, and the mother was still sure she wanted to give up the baby, the adoption could go ahead. But Ella had never contemplated reneging on the promise she’d made to her sister. And she’d certainly never expected Keira to be the one to back out!
“She was created for your brother and my sister—to satisfy their desire for a family. By assisting with her conception and bringing her into the world I’ve kept my part of the agreement.” Damn Keira and Dmitri. “In fact, I’ve gone way beyond what was expected of me.”
His mouth slanted down. “That is your opinion.”
“And I’m entitled to it.” Ella drew a steadying breath, felt her stomach rise under her hands, then calmness spread through her as she slowly exhaled. “You shouldn’t expect me to even consider keeping the baby. Keira and Dmitri changed their minds about becoming parents—not me.” She’d had enough of being blamed for something that wasn’t her fault. And she was furious with Keira, and Dmitri, for landing her in this predicament—probably because the man standing beside the bed had caused it with his initial resistance to the baby in the first place.
But before she could confront him with his responsibility for this mess, he was speaking again, in that staccato rattle that hurt her head. “Stop making excuses. It tells me a lot about the kind of person you are—that even in these circumstances you can abandon the baby you’ve carried for nine months… the baby you’ve just given birth to.”
What was the man’s problem? Hadn’t he listened to one word of what she’d been saying? She drew a shuddering breath. “Let’s get this straight. Regardless of the position in law, this is Keira’s baby, not mine.” Where was her sister? She’d landed Ella in this mess, now Keira had disappeared. She’d been here a few minutes ago, but now Ella couldn’t even hear her voice in the family room next door. The loneliness that seared her was as unexpected as it was alien. For once in her life, she could do with her younger sister’s moral support. But of course, that was too much to expect. “I never intended to have children.”
“Never?”
“That’s right. Never.” Under the bedcovers she clenched her hands into fists.
He shook his head and this time the look he gave her caused Ella to see red.
“And what about your precious brother?” It burst from her. “What about his part in this? He’s the baby’s biological father. Why don’t you harangue him about his responsibilities? Why pick on me?”
For the first time, his glance slid away. “This has nothing to do with my brother.”
Her anger soared at the double standard. “Of course not. He’s male. He gets to donate his seed and walk away scot-free from all responsibility. It’s the woman who carries the baby—and the blame, right?”
Yevgeny shot her a strangely savage look. “I’m not discussing this any further. I will absolve you from all blame and responsibility—I will adopt the baby.”
“She will become my responsibility,” continued Yevgeny, rather enjoying seeing cool, icy Ella looking uncharacteristically shaken. “And I do take care of my responsibilities.”
Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Yevgeny’s pleasure grew. How satisfying to discover that the always eloquent Icicle Ella, like other mere mortals, could suffer from loss of words.
“You… you live in a penthouse. Y… you’re not married…” she finally stuttered out. “A baby ought to be adopted by a couple who will care for it.”
It was a great pity she couldn’t have remained speechless for a while longer.
“I can buy a house.” Yevgeny was determined to ignore the jab about a wife. “And the baby is not an it,” he rebuked gently.
Her brown eyes were wide, dazed. “What?”
“You said the baby should go to a couple who love it—she’s not an it.”
“Oh.” A flush crept along her cheeks. “Of course she isn’t. I’m sorry.”
It was the first time he’d ever heard Ella McLeod apologize… and admit she was in the wrong. Yevgeny refused to acknowledge even to himself that he was secretly impressed. Or that it made him feel a little bit guilty about enjoying her confusion.
He studied her. To be truthful her eyes were luminous. Gold-brown with a hint of smoke. Like smoky honey. And the flush gave her pale cheeks a peachy warmth he’d never noticed before. She looked almost pretty—in an ethereal, fragile way that did not normally appeal to him.
In the spirit of reconciliation he felt compelled to add, “And I will care for her.”
“A procession of big-bosomed careworkers is not what I had in mind.”
Reconciliation was clearly not what Ella had in mind. He suppressed a knowing smirk at how quickly the fragile act had lasted and gave in to the urge to provoke her. “You have something against motherly, homely women?”
The look she gave him would’ve frozen the devil at fifty feet. “I wouldn’t describe a Playboy centerfold model as homely.”
This time he allowed himself to smile—but without humor. “I will need some help with the baby… but you may rest assured the criteria for hiring her caregivers will not be physical attributes. I will make sure that the women I employ will be