Elbows propped against the railing, Sammi glanced down at Toby. ‘Are you cold?’ Worried that the chilled air might irritate his bronchial tubes, her gloved hand went to the pocket of her down jacket for the hundredth time, making sure the precious inhaler was within close reach. It was one of the reasons she always reserved a cabin onboard for the two-day trip—despite the extra cost—rather than pitch a tent on the deck like other travelers often did. Especially as the summer air gave way to the frigid gusts of late fall.
‘I like being out here.’ Toby’s words were muffled by the scarf Sammi had draped across his nose and mouth in an effort to keep the air as warm as possible.
The trip to see Toby’s father was one she always dreaded. Not only because she hated to be away from her son but because the trip meant she wouldn’t have access to her clinic or a hospital during the time it took to get from one place to the other. And flying was an expense she couldn’t afford. Toby’s father was footing the bill for the trip by water as it was.
You could have asked Mark to take you.
Right. After he’d stalked from the clinic two weeks ago?
She had been wrong to bring up his father, but the words had flown from her mouth before she’d been able to stop them. She doubted many people knew what he’d gone through as a kid, and he’d never openly admitted it to anyone. Even when they’d been together, Mark had avoided talking about his dad. But she’d seen little clues here and there, and she knew in her heart of hearts her hunch was right.
But to say the words out loud…
She cringed. If things between them had been bad before her outburst, they were a hundred times worse now.
The figurative arctic freeze they’d retreated into was more palpable than the real thing—on the open deck of the ferry. If anyone was going to break that frosty silence, it would be him. Not that there was much of a chance of cracking through all those layers without some kind of major thaw. And after more than eight years of icy accumulation, Sammi didn’t see that happening.
Her thoughts went back to the X-ray and her initial horror at seeing those old breaks. Once the shock had faded, though, her brain had clicked into gear and worked through some other possibilities. He could have broken his hand in any number of ways. Like having it slammed in a door in a similar fashion to what had happened at the clinic. Only she would have expected one bone to have cracked in that case. Not four. The X-ray she’d taken had been merely a precaution.
Had he gotten them as a result of his military service? Because he hadn’t come to the clinic with any injuries since he’d returned to Dutch Harbor—and she didn’t remember seeing a cast on him during that time.
He’d never spoken of those years in the navy to anyone on the island, or word would have gotten back to her. Surely Blake knew something. They’d served in the military at the same time. But Blake seemed just as close-mouthed about that period in his life as Mark did. They’d both been pilots in Afghanistan, dangerous work, but Mark had never once bragged, even to impress any of the local girls, which shocked her. She couldn’t think of a better way to pick up women than to present yourself as a bad-boy hero who thrived on danger.
In fact, he didn’t mention his past at all, something she found a little strange, now that she thought about it. She’d talked about the stuff that had happened in her life on a regular basis, from cute childhood moments to embarrassing tales of teen stupidity. Even her father’s history of running around on her mother was common knowledge on the island, much to her mom’s keen embarrassment.
‘Will it be snowing at the zoo?’
Sammi’s mind switched back to the present, and she smiled down at her son, her heart swelling with love. ‘I hope not.’ Doubly so because Toby’s father had always seemed slightly irritated at the limitations placed on their son due to his asthma. A die-hard sports fan, Brad often hinted that Toby’s condition wouldn’t be as bad if Sammi didn’t coddle him so much.
But she didn’t. At least, she didn’t think she did. What else was she supposed to do when he was gasping and wheezing for breath? Tell him to ‘man up’ and deal with it?
It was another reason she’d always accompanied Toby on these trips, rather than just ask Brad to come to the island and pick him up. It’s not like her ex didn’t have the money to fly over for their bi-weekly visits. Neither did she begrudge Toby the time with his father. Brad was a good man, and a decent father—at least he’d never begged off having Toby come and see him—but Sammi also wanted to be somewhere close, in case something went terribly wrong. So she’d sit in a hotel room all day while Brad, along with his new wife and daughter, took Toby on their usual one-day jaunt. She’d stare at her cellphone and will it not to ring. But Toby had always been dropped off at the end of the day healthy, happy, and singularly untraumatized. He never knew his mother went to hell and back until he was delivered safely into her care once again.
At least she and Molly—who’d come back from her honeymoon a week ago—could go out and enjoy a meal. If her friend was off duty for the day. And if she could drag herself away from Blake long enough for them to get in some girl time.
‘There it is, Mom!’
Sure enough, off in the distance was a pinpoint strip of land that could only signal they were getting close to docking. ‘Do you have all your stuff?’
Toby glanced down at his wheeled backpack. ‘I think so. I’m coming back to the hotel room tonight, right? Or am I staying with Daddy?’
‘Nope. It’s you and me, popcorn and a movie.’ She tucked the tail of his scarf into his coat a little better. ‘What do you want to see?’
‘How about something scary? With zombies and stuff.’
Her brows went up. ‘Try again. This time come down a couple of ratings to something within the PG range.’
‘Awww, Mom…’
It was a familiar fight, but Sammi wasn’t irritated. She knew it was part of Toby’s search for independence, but she also knew that at six, he still needed limits. Lots of them. She could be his friend when he was an adult. Until then, she was fully prepared to be the bad guy.
‘Hmm… How about that penguin movie you love so much?’
‘We’ve seen that like six thousand times.’
‘That’s a lot. I had no idea.’ She gave him a mock roll of her eyes. ‘We can decide once you get back to the hotel, then.’
The next half-hour was spent making sure they weren’t forgetting anything on board before the ferry drew up at the docking. When Toby acted like he was going to bolt toward the exit, she took his arm. ‘Wait.’ She didn’t particularly want to be trampled on the way out. So they hung back, allowing the bulk of the passengers to disembark before making their own getaway.
Brad and his family met them in the parking area. There were so many people around that they didn’t have to worry about making small talk or about whether or not Sammi should invite them inside her hotel room. She wanted to keep things as cordial as possible, for Toby’s sake.
A small pang of envy went through her as Brad bent down and wrapped his son in a big hug. His wife also knelt to say hello, their four-year-old daughter holding tightly to her hand. Sammi wanted to dislike the woman, especially since they’d started their own family almost before the ink had been dry on the divorce papers, but she couldn’t. Maribel had never been anything but nice to her, and she seemed to really like Toby. That was all that mattered. That her son was happy and well taken care of.
Brad stood, keeping hold of Toby’s hand. ‘Do you want to do this like we usually do? We can bring him to the hotel room around eight or nine?’
Something about the way he said it made Sammi fidget. Yes, that was their normal arrangement, so it wasn’t like she could suddenly say Toby couldn’t go. She just had a funny feeling.