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How I fought with the phone
In a cell phone there is as if some sort of drunken man is sitting as a lord, who does not know Russian and speaks, or rather writes in Chinese. That’s for sure! So, today I wanted to talk to a friend of mine about painful problems. I want to write to her that I am sitting in prose and mail ru. I regularly enter text into the typing window in my phone, gently poking my finger over the letters. Has entered, like everything is correct, checked. Sent. The phone says in a blue square from me: “Rustam otin, male prose, miilya…”
I haven’t read that the smartphone has issued and I’m sitting so smart and smart, until I got confusion from my friend: “What other male prose and Who is Rustam Otin in general? Have you met long ago?”
After reading the message, I quietly fall into horror and slowly slide off my chair… But I myself do not know who Rustam Otin is! I look again at the message and check: suddenly she was mistaken. Not. all right. It turns out I wrote to her, or rather, my phone! What will people think of me now? That I sit all day in male prose with some Rustam Otin?! Reading in men’s magazines! I don’t know him myself! And I don’t look at men’s magazines at all, but I go around them for kilometers! I make excuses, I write that this is a mistake, that this is a telephone… He doesn’t believe.. He giggles… Okay, somehow we’ll digest… I’m trying to change the conversation topic about shopping.
I am writing to her that I will have to send money through Russia. I make sure that there are no incidents. I wrote everything exactly. I poke on the send key. Telephone:
The sixth miiilya Russian yuyuyuyu!!!
Am I so glad I ran six miles?
Yes, I, to be honest, have not been running in the morning for a long time… I even felt ashamed..
Telephone:
– All… glitch-glitch-glitch!!
Like I am swimming somewhere with the same Rustam at sea.
For the last glitch, I was ready to kill this phone at all! But…
Having passed on its last “glue-glue-glue”, the cunning phone lit up with a caustic dark red light, they say it wants to eat, charging is at zero and stalled!
I AM:
– During! Otherwise I would have thrown it in the trash!
But the phone knows I won’t throw it away. I gave 80,000 in blood for him! They will kill me at home, devour me with giblets, they say begged, ached for a whole year “buy” and “buy”, and now in the trash?! This is such money!
An acquaintance from our whole conversation with her understood that I had just problems and even big ones… I suspect what she was thinking…
And what is the phone? Lies calmly and does not blow in the mustache! I’m already afraid to approach him! No matter how my relatives read SMS… or rather the phone!
How Alik sold his apartment
We have been selling our apartment for three or four years and cannot sell it in any way. At the beginning, our apartment was an ordinary Soviet three-ruble note in a house. built during the heyday of the Soviet Union. There was nothing ordinary about her. The announcement of the sale of the apartment hung in the most visible place – on the window overlooking a busy highway. This area of;;the city is the most respectable, the most “fashionable” and then it seemed to us that it would not be difficult to sell an apartment. But as it turned out, this is not at all the case… People just came and went without saying a word… There was a kind of emptiness, hopelessness and despair in their eyes, and some even disgust, that very contemptuous “Fu!”
Tired of everything, Alik, grabbing another leaving customer by the floor of his jacket, shouted in his hearts:
– Tell me something?! What’s wrong with this apartment? Why don’t you want to take it?
The outgoing, yet another successful buyer reluctantly turned around and saw all the despair and pain of Alik, who almost had tears running from his eyes, yawning. scratching his head gave out:
– Oh well! So I will tell you. I do this purely out of good intentions and only because I know your parents well.
Alik became alert and became quiet. He wiped his snot and tears and began to listen to his teacher like a first grader. A failed buyer, this brute with a big belly and legs hanging on his knees, on the contrary, unlike Alik, who even became shorter and looked at him with all his eyes, suddenly acquired an important look, straightened up and even grew at once a whole meter, towering over Alik is like a lamppost.
_ Firstly.. – he began, bending his fingers, – you did not make major repairs
– Well, I whitewashed cleanly and painted the floors … – Alik justified himself, not listening to him to the end.
– Yes, your plaster is falling!! – shouted the buyer, who did not like that he was interrupted. “Your plumbing is old! The pipes are leaking!”
_-So the house was built in the 60s of the last century, back in the days of Khrushchev! What can I do?!
_ And I don’t care what and how! The apartment should be as good as new, as on the glossy cover, he pointed to the magazine, which he always carried with him in his pocket. There is a beautiful picture of a recently built high-rise building in a completely different, neighboring city.
_ Well, this is Almaty! And this is our Chu! There are no such houses here!
– But the prices are the same as in Almaty! And if so, then the repair should be the same!
– So the prices, they are the same everywhere, in Almaty, in Chu, only in Taraz a little cheaper.
– Have you ever thought why we have such expensive apartments in Chu?
– Probably, they found oil … – Alik got out.
– Here it is, oil … – He shoved the magazine back into his pocket and was about to leave.
– Although, in Almaty it is a little more expensive … – Alik breathed, but no one heard him. He stood alone in his apartment and, as evil, missed his next buyer again.
“Why am I just going to sell my three-ruble note?” He wondered more and more often. “They rightly say: “A stupid head doesn’t give rest to his feet.” he sits in a cozy armchair in his shady apple orchard and sips hot coffee with milk and crunches fried chicken.
– Listen, Ishimbaev! Are you dreaming again? And who is she? Beautiful? – Stuck his friend Kasym with questions, showing up to him early the next day.
– Uh-huh