God always gives us a choice. However, we cannot remember the choices we made at 16, at 21, at 35 years yet, many of those choices are influencing our lives. We spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that we miss the right opportunity. When you finally get something good, enjoy it. Do not go looking for something perfect and miss out on what is real. Hence, there is no perfect people. We all make mistakes but you need to remember and celebrate what you have done right. Everything may not be where you want them to be in life… But, even in the small successes, give God the highest praise. For, “…the joy of the Lord is your strength.”(Nehemiah 8:10)
So, choosing a life partner should not be done without first praying fervently and seeking God’s will in the matter. Anytime you take someone with you that God has not authorized, it tampers with your destiny. Never look for someone who will take care of you. Instead look for someone who will care for you. Infatuation is when you find
someone who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize that they are not and it does not matter. Do not fall in love with someone who only says the right things, fall in love with someone who does the right things.
To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what she or he has already achieved, but at what she or he aspires to. Not everyone knows how to be everything you need them to be. Forgive their inability. Consider their heart and do not hide yours either, just learn to show it and share it respectfully. The more you hide your heart feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow. Sometimes you can be too busy searching in the distance, to notice that what you are really looking for, is right next to you. “If you search for good, you will find favour; but if you search for evil, it will find you!” (Proverbs 11:27)
Choose a partner that uses the word “when” not “if” when describing their future. Beyond your desire for intimacy also look for sincerity but, it is not easy find sincerity. It is important to know that sincerity does not and cannot substitute the truth for it is an openness of heart that can be found in very few people, what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win confidence of others. Do not do it or say it, unless you believe it from your heart. A heart that is worn on the sleeve is evident to others.
Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. Promise only what you can deliver. Then, deliver more than you promised. Let the truth be the light that you see by, open your heart to honesty and close the door to illusion. Be careful, everything genuine can be faked. In human emotions, only the heart can tell the difference. Words that do not come from the heart can deceive you. Do not be fooled by its common place appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts.
Do not be fooled by the face they wear, for it is a mask. Pretending is their second nature. They give you impression that they are secure beneath, lays a real confusion. Pretending can fool men but, it cannot fool God. Nature cannot be fooled. Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” (Proverbs 12:22)
Being with someone who wants to hear all about your day and let you know everything is going to be okay when you are sad it is the best thing. However, most people are giving love in many different forms to others so they may be appreciated and loved by others. That is a common agenda for one that has not yet found love within themselves. But, love has no agendas, reasons nor attachments. When you love in any form only because it is your truest feeling from within, you will be one with love, not needing to receive it from others externally, so that the love you give is free, and therefore allowing you to be free.
Hence, the greatest gift you can give someone is space to be his or herself, without the threat of you leaving them if they are not the way you want them to be. You should be willing to love people where they are. People should not have to change to feel your love. Love is supposed to be unconditional. If people have to earn your love, then you do not really love. Love without strings attached. Just as God loved you while in your mess “…I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
One thing you can do better than anyone else, is be yourself. Do you live on the reflections of yourself in the eyes of others or do you dare to be yourself. When you have to start compromising yourself or your morals for the people around you, it is probably time to change your friends. The most important person in your life is the one that builds your faith. People may have an impact on your life but only God can change your life. Make sure that the person you have fallen for should never take the role of your God. No one is that important but Jesus Christ. “Jesus however came near and said to them, “All power in Heaven and over the earth has been given to me.” (Matthew 28:18)
If you cannot see yourself as worthy, loveable, or someone who has something to offer the world then neither will anyone else. But, when you raise your standard and treat yourself as the beautiful soul you are, the outside world responds. Imagine growing up believing you were a slave. Just to find out you were royalty all along. You will be amazed that all the qualities you long to experience or see in others already exist within you. Remember the old saying that, “If you spot it, you got it.” So, do not permit any form of slavery in your life anymore. You are a child of the Most High King! You are His treasured possession. (Deuteronomy 7:6)
You will never find what you are looking for in love, if you do not love yourself. As you know the beauty of love emanates from within so, look inside yourself, look into your heart if you wish to find love. If it is not easy to find love in yourself, it is not possible to find it elsewhere. What is on the inside, may not reflect on the outside. But, the reason why you are so easy to spot in a crowd is because those who are beautiful inside are publicly glowing.
However, if you go looking for true love you would not find it because love is never lost, only we are lost. It is not something you seek out, it seeks you. It can grow and bloom even in frozen soil and the harshest conditions. It exists everywhere, all the time, a flower for all the seasons. It blooms when the conditions are just right, you cannot force the flower to open, nor a heart. For the man of love does not subscribe to the power of evil, he sees a lack of love as the root of all problems. He may not solve all your problems but, he would not let you face them alone. “…Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the Sin of the world.” (John 1:29)
Love it is not half baked, it is an action word. If you do not love yourself in a healthy way, you will never be able to love others in the way that you should. Hence, a person that has trouble celebrating others has trouble in celebrating themselves. If you do not ever get excited about what God has done for you, you would not ever get excited enough to tell someone else for celebration. For some people will never celebrate where God is taking you because they are stuck on where you have been.
When you are able to genuinely wish someone well, have no jealousy in your heart towards them and want the best for them, you are truly blessed. And, knowing that you are blessed means you are able to stay happy in any circumstance. So, learn to celebrate others accomplishments, it will build you up as a person, instead of envying them and putting yourself down. Hence, love has a way of growing and multiplying. As we make a living by what we get and make a life by what we give. It seems the more I love, the more I have to give. So, give it all. Love life as long as you live. Offer a helping hand when you are able. Appreciate all the things God has given you. Smile and embrace life. Then, your own celebration is coming soon. “Be happy with those who are happy, and…!” (Romans 12:15)
What does love looks like? Well, it has got hands to help, feet to hasten to, eyes to see misery, and ears to hear sorrows of the other partner. It does not only consist of gazing at each other but, in looking together in the same direction. It knows the difference between hurting and harming. So, it is important not to confuse control, with loving and caring for each other. Control is not love. Never tolerate a relationship where you are not allowed to think for yourself. Do not allow others to make your life about them.
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