They chime back, ‘You honour us, granddaughter of our great chieftain.’
‘Join me, Little Priestess,’ Grandmother calls from another room.
Her voice brims with authority, but it’s not unkind.
Nenii and Semma give me encouraging smiles as they fluff pillows. Before I slip into my Grandmother’s private quarters, Nenii whispers, ‘Come by our tent later so we can help braid your hair.’ My cheeks warm, but I’m glad of the offer. It’s long overdue and would take me forever. I shake off my doubts about them. Not everyone cares that I don’t have magic.
I pull back the curtains that separate the salon from Grandmother’s private quarters. She sits cross-legged on a mat in the middle of the floor. She isn’t wearing her bone charms, only a yellow kaftan with coloured beads across her shoulders. Light flickers from the jars of burning oil in the corners and leaves the rest of the room in shadows. Her quarters smell of cloves, cinnamon, and cardamom – the spices of her favourite tea. ‘Grandmother,’ I say, bowing to her. ‘Honoured Chieftain of Tribe Aatiri, blessed night.’
‘Welcome, Granddaughter.’ She smiles. ‘Sit.’
Grandmother clutches her hands on her lap, and when I squat on the reed floor facing her, she flips her wrists and lets the bones fly. They land between us in the same position they did all those years ago when she first tried to teach me magic. As they do every year. Her whispers fill the room as she channels the ancestors’ spirits through the bones. Several voices come across at once. My belly twinges at the clipped, guttural words that are neither Aatiri nor Tamaran. The language doesn’t sound like that of any nation near the Kingdom or the tribal lands. In the corner, one of the candles flickers and goes out.
Grandmother has never told me what the message means. Whenever I ask, she answers, ‘The time is not yet right for me to say.’
Still the question burns on my lips. What does it mean? I almost beg for an answer but bite my tongue. It isn’t fair that she’s keeping it from me. Why would she? Unless it’s something bad, or if it means that I’ll never come into my magic. The blank expression on her face gives nothing away.
‘People are upset about me entering the sacred circle,’ I start, then my words catch in my throat. She had to know they would be. Grandmother stares at me with one eyebrow arched in anticipation. She bears the angular face, prominent cheeks, and proud nose common among the Aatiri. Her look, as always, is one of slight amusement – as if she’s privy to a secret that no one else knows.
The phantom of Heka’s magic still lingers on my skin. It was the first time that magic ever came to me. It didn’t just brush by on its way to answer someone else’s call. It sparked in my soul like a vital organ I hadn’t known was missing. I want to tell Grandmother this, but I’m afraid of what it means that the magic didn’t stay.
She risked angering the other edam and the entirety of the tribal people – for what reason? I bite my lip and drop my gaze to my hands. ‘Why did you do it?’
‘People should mind their own business,’ Grandmother says, her voice sharp. When I meet her eyes again, she smiles. ‘As for your question, let me try to explain.’ She waves her hand over the bones and they arrange themselves into a neat pile. ‘Our magic presents in different ways. It’s no small thing that you can see magic and your mind resists it. I’ve long wondered if, perhaps, your magic is simply asleep. I brought you into the sacred circle in an attempt to awaken it.’
A flush of heat creeps up my neck. ‘I guess there’s only one way to see if it worked.’
‘Take the bones,’ Grandmother says. ‘Tell me what you see.’
So begin my tests.
The bones feel smooth and polished, and slippery against my hands. They don’t hum with magic or speak to me. It’s no different from Imebyé all those years ago, or any blood moon since then. I clutch the bones with my eyes closed, my pulse pounding in my ears. I will them to tell me their secrets. Please let this work.
When I can’t stand waiting any longer, I throw them.
The bones scatter in a random pattern that means nothing to me. Grandmother studies them, her eyes lingering on each bone, then lets out a soft sigh. They don’t mean anything to her either.
Why do I keep failing at this? What am I doing wrong?
She allows me no time to lament, only snaps her fingers. Nenii enters the room carrying a mortar and pestle, a knife, and piles of herbs. Once she’s gone, Grandmother says, ‘Make a blood medicine of your choice.’
That I can do. I’ve learned how to make dozens while helping my father in his shop. But without magic, all blood medicine does is give a person a stomachache. Or a hangover.
I crush herbs, adding a bit at a time to get the right consistency. The medicine calls for white nightshade smoothed into a paste and a dozen other herbs. It isn’t long before I’m lost in the work, my mind at peace for the first time at the festival. I’ve always found making blood medicine calming, even if challenging. Juices stain my fingers green and a pungent odour stings my nose by the time it’s done.
To seal the spell, I need to add my blood, but I hesitate. I don’t want to disappoint Grandmother or myself again. After this, we’ll know if last night had been worth it, if my true magic was only asleep. I nick the tip of my finger, add blood, and whisper the incantation in one breath.
It’s done.
If my measurements were off by the smallest amount, the work would be for nothing. Without magic it is for nothing. I always go through the motions because of Grandmother, but after Heka’s touch, I hope a spark of magic will finally show. This year has to be different. It’s now or never.
Grandmother’s silver locs are loose and reach her waist. Even without her adornments, she still looks every bit the chieftain that she is. She raises an eyebrow. ‘You intend to turn your hair blue?’
‘It’s very popular in Tamar.’ I smile down at the bowl. If it works, I’ll make Essnai all the hair colour she could dream of. I’ll find a thousand frivolous, fun things to do with magic. I’ll be useful in my father’s shop, and one day open a magic shop of my own.
‘Indeed.’ Grandmother gestures at the bowl, a grin dancing on her lips. ‘After you.’
We both drink and nothing happens. Aside from the atrocious taste. Another failure.
On to the next.
We spend hours going through the tests.
I fail to read minds.
I fail to manipulate water.
I fail to see into the future.
I fail to call upon the ancestors.
I fail to heal the cuts on my fingers.
I fail to detect what ails a sick woman.
We work late into the night, people coming and going for various tests. My head throbs and my stomach twists in knots as the hour of ösana approaches. Magic is at its most potent in that space of time between night and sunrise. Grandmother never loses patience and encourages me to keep trying. I wish my mother would be that way instead of voicing her constant disapproval.
‘Are there any easier tests?’ I ask the moment we are alone.
Grandmother throws the bones again. ‘Those were the easier tests, Little Priestess.’
I wince. ‘Please don’t call me that. It only makes things worse.’
She frowns but doesn’t look up. Something in the bones has her full