Holly ignored her question. What was going on? It would do no good to be chippy and defensive with the police though, not with something this important. She didn’t trust them, and years of prejudice didn’t vanish overnight. She forced her mind back eleven years, picturing her blonde, skinny brother, with his pointed chin, and hazel-flecked green eyes. His breath had been like white smoke in the wintry darkness outside the gym. She had still been in her kit, sweaty hair pulled back, hoodie thrown over her Lycra top. Her brother’s appearance, his pleading for money, had made her furious. ‘I told Jayden to fuck off. It was his usual form to beg for money. He would always say he was in danger, and as soon as he was bailed out, he’d get back into debt.’
‘He was an addict?’
‘For a while, yes, but he refused any help. Once, we got him into the rehab place in Panfield, but he walked out after a couple of days.’ Holly was drifting through her thoughts. They stabbed sharply, needles in her heart, and the helpless frustration she had felt then was bubbling back up in her belly. ‘Like I said, when he vanished the first time, it was almost a relief. We were worried, of course, that he might have got into worse trouble, or wound up dead. But we knew Mason and his heavies hadn’t found him, because we had the whole Balinta family on our backs wanting money to settle debts Jayden had run up when he was meant to be dealing for them. Lydia didn’t tell me at the time, but Jayden sent her an occasional text to say he was safe. And my dad, well, he gave out that he didn’t give a shit but I reckon he was glad Jayden had gone, so he didn’t embarrass him anymore. It was tough for us all after Mum died. I was thirteen when she was killed, and Jay was fifteen. It was the worst thing ever, and Jayden never got over it. I thought he’d OD or something, it was that bad for a while. He couldn’t think of anything except his next hit.’
‘And Jayden had been in a relationship with Cathryn Davies?’ DS Harlow queried.
‘Yeah. He had the twins with Cath: Ronnie and Sean. I’d hoped being a dad would have straightened Jayden out. But they were too young, and they were never going to last as a couple, even though Cath was sure they could make a go of it. She was in bits when he started ghosting her, and then when he just left without another word it nearly destroyed her. That was another reason I was glad when Jayden didn’t come back. He trashed everything, caused all this shit, left debts and stressed everyone. It was better that he wasn’t around.’
‘According to your original statement, this time when you refused to give him the cash, he then stole money from your aunt.’
Holly nodded. ‘After he met me and I said no, he tried Lydia. He went round to visit her, and managed to get on and off the Seaview without anyone spotting him. Bloody luck of the devil he always had, my dad said. Anyway, Lydia said she could only give him part of the money, but he took her card and emptied her bank account.’
‘And when did you next hear from him?’ DS Harlow took a sip of tea, making quick notes on a pad whilst Holly talked.
‘A week later. He rang me and said he was really sorry he took Lydia’s money, but he still needed an extra twelve hundred to clear the debt. Lydia always forgave him, but she told me this time he had taken everything from her savings account. She’d worked her backside off for a lifetime and he had stolen it all. And then he had the nerve to ask me for more money.’ Holly knew what was coming and she needed to be careful. The anger was still threading through her voice, even after all these years and everything that had happened since.
‘You were a boxer, weren’t you? DI Harper said you were really good.’
Holly glanced up from her tea, surprised. She supposed it just reinforced her impression that DI Harper had always been obsessed with her family. ‘Yeah, I loved it. I was modelling quite a lot by then too, because I’d won a lot of competitions. The last one was at the National Championships.’ She smiled, oddly nostalgic, wistful even. ‘My life was crazy good, and I had an agent and everything. She got me a sports magazine cover and it just went from there.’
‘It must have been tough to give all that up,’ DC Marriot said gently.
‘Yeah. When I look back, I think it started to go wrong again when Jay came back. You know, I felt like here was my brother, dragging me down again. That sounds really bad, doesn’t it? He was … he was crying down the phone. Anyway, he told me to take the extra money in cash to an address …’ She paused, keeping her face a careful mask of concentration, as if she was just trying to remember what had happened. ‘Jayden told me to meet him at the address at eleven that night with the extra money. He said it had to be cash because it needed to be untraceable.’
‘Why did you agree to give him the money when you knew he had just stolen from your aunt?’ DS Harlow’s voice was colourless, but her chin was still proper on her elbow, eyes raking Holly’s face.
Holly met her gaze. ‘He promised that if I gave him the money he would just go this time, really go right away. I asked where he’d been, what the hell he’d been doing and all that, but he just ignored the questions and went on about how this was going to save his life. He never at any point mentioned a girlfriend or any kids.’ She felt it was important to hammer this home.
‘But why did you believe him this time? You’ve just told me he was a habitual offender, and a liar.’ DC Marriot was flicking through notes on her screen. ‘Was there a particular reason, something he said that made you believe he had changed?’ She pushed back a stray wisp of hair. As she leant forward Holly could smell her perfume. It was unexpected, light and floral and didn’t seem to suit her icy persona.
‘I don’t know. I suppose I didn’t really believe him, but I had sorted my own life and just wanted him to go away again. I just assumed he was back on drugs. When we were talking, I even had ideas about making him take me to his dealer and giving them the money myself, sorting it all out … How stupid is that? I was furious, and … I don’t know what I was thinking. Probably the same as all the other times – but also what if this time it was true and he really was in danger?’ She said this carefully, remembering almost too late she needed to be cautious, not honest. It hadn’t been that at all. She had been so angry, so furious with him for invading their lives again, for taking Lydia’s money that pity had been the last thing on her mind.
‘You never thought of calling the police?’ DS Harlow asked doubtfully. She was tapping the pen against her teeth, eyes narrowing as they rested on Holly’s face. Her round cheeks were stained red in the warm kitchen, and time and lifestyle had scored harsh lines around her eyes and mouth.
‘Of course not. Look, DS Harlow …’
‘Make it Steph,’ the other woman said helpfully. She made a few more quiet notes, watching the other two women.
DC Marriot continued, ‘We know how the estate worked, and how it works now, and yes we’re on first-name terms with most of the Nicholls family. Not to mention Mason Balinta.’
Holly flashed her a sharp glance, but she smiled. ‘I’m being honest with you. We know we aren’t welcome on Seaview and never have been, but that doesn’t mean we have to let people like the Nicholls family run wild. Returning to that night – you eventually went to meet Jayden to give him the money?’
‘Yes. I was half an hour early. The bus stop was right next to the estate he was living on. It was so close, only in Panfield, that I felt like he had been laughing at us all along. Christ, we’d all looked for him, and he’d been holed up in that rabbit warren only a stone’s throw from us. I found the right block of flats, and went up to the eighth floor. The door to 101 was open, just a bit …’ She was lost in the past, walking through that door into the hell that lay beyond. Her heart sped up, and she clung to the side of the chair, hearing her own voice from miles away …
She was used to replaying these memories. But this time there was a difference. She couldn’t stop thinking about the boy. Why had nobody picked up that there