Erasmus recognised one of the skateboarders. Her name was Heather, and Erasmus had helped her get off a charge of damaging public property by obtaining CCTV footage showing that the benches she was alleged to have broken by landing her skateboard on them had already been damaged by drunks the night before. Erasmus raised his hand and gave Heather a wave. She grinned and waved back. Even from fifty yards away Erasmus could see that Heather was smoking a large spliff.
With a shake of the head Erasmus walked into Philpotts and placed his order for the king of sandwiches: cheese and salad cream. It was what his elder brother Paul used to call the dum dum sandwich because when it hit your stomach it exploded with joy. As he waited for his sandwich he wondered what Paul's advice would be regarding Miranda and Abby. He would probably have told him to just kidnap Abby and let down the tires on Miranda's car on the way out. Paul had always had a direct approach to matters. Erasmus missed his advice.
Before the sandwich was ready his mobile rang.
‘Hey Erasmus. How are you doing? I got your message.’
Erasmus felt a tingle down his spine.
‘Hello Mrs Francis.’ He paused to allow her to say, ‘I told you, it's Jenna,’ and she obliged.
‘Look, Jenna, I've got something I need to discuss with you. Can we meet today?’
‘Sure, have you got a pen?’ asked Jenna.
Erasmus fumbled about in his suit pockets and pulled out a small blue bookies’ pen.
‘Oi, love, your butty's arrived,’ said the generously sized woman in the queue behind Erasmus.
And indeed there it was on the counter, and Sharon, the bored looking sandwich technician as her name badge informed him, was holding out her hand waiting for his money.
Suddenly, there was a screech of tires from outside, followed by shouting and the sounds of a scuffle. Everyone in the shop turned and looked towards the direction of the sound. Unfortunately the door didn't open directly onto the square. It was set off at a slight angle meaning the patrons couldn't rubberneck properly and no one was prepared to give up their place in the queue to walk to the door and see what was happening outside.
‘Hey love, your sandwich!’ It was the fat woman again. She gave Erasmus a dig in the ribs.
‘Are you OK?’ said Jenna.
Sharon was shaking her head. ‘That's four pound la. Come on I haven't got all day, there are other customers.’
And then from outside came the unmistakable sound of Heather's voice. ‘Erasmus help!’
‘Yeah, I'm fine. OK, give me the address!’ Erasmus hurriedly wrote down Jenna's address on a Philpotts napkin. ‘I'll see you late this evening. Got to go.’ And he hung up.
‘Yer butty, lazy arse. I'm starving!’ The woman dug the knuckles of her right hand into Erasmus’ ribs.
Erasmus ran out the door of Philpotts.
In the middle of the square there was a police wagon and a policeman was attempting to bundle Heather into the back of the van while another threatened her friends with a TASER as they crowded round and shouted at the cops.
Heather was struggling on the floor and she kicked out and caught the policeman square on the shin. He gave a yelp of pain. Heather saw Erasmus and started shouting for him. The cop who had been kicked pulled out his baton. Erasmus could see he was bleeding from the nose where Heather's foot had connected. The cop lifted the baton as though he was about to strike Heather.
‘Stop that right now!’ shouted Erasmus at the top of his voice.
The bloodied policeman turned his head in Erasmus’ direction. He had a name badge: PC Cooper.
‘Who the fucking hell are you then you beardy streak of piss?’
Nice of the policeman to remind him that he hadn't had a shave that morning.
Heather who was still laying on the floor gave Erasmus an elaborate wink. Luckily for her none of the officers saw because as Erasmus was daily reminded of by the pain in his right knee, policemen the world over didn't like people laughing at them. Erasmus decided to go full pompous.
‘I, Officer Cooper, work on behalf of Dakins solicitors and that,’ Erasmus pointed at Heather, ‘is my client you are assaulting.’
‘Resisting arrest,’ said Officer Cooper. ‘She kicked me in da nose.’
‘I saw a policeman holding down a sixteen-year-old girl and dragging her into a van. What's the charge?’
Erasmus knew what the charges would be and, sure as eggs is eggs, Officer Cooper obliged.
‘Possession of a Class B drug namely GM Skunk and resisting arrest, of course,’ he smirked and waved a Ziploc® bag containing a roach smudged with black lipstick.
Erasmus presumed that Heather had managed to ditch her stash somewhere or had it concealed in a place that would require a female officer to search.
‘Officer Cooper, I am guessing that now the strikes are over and you are back on performance related pay per arrest that you have targeted my client, who, by the way, has a prescription for her medical marijuana use, and in the rush for hitting your daily quota have inadvertently arrested a disabled young girl, confiscated her medicine and beaten her, and all in front of her representative.’
Cooper glowered at Erasmus. ‘Show me her prescription.’
Erasmus suddenly realised that without thinking about it he had put his whole career in jeopardy. Lying to a police officer and impersonating a solicitor probably wouldn't sit well with Dan's law firm. He gave an inner curse. And all he had done was pop out for a sandwich.
‘That's sensitive personal information under the Data Protection Act, do you have a court order for such disclosure?’
PC Cooper glared at him. ‘I've got this,’ he said, swinging his baton into his fist.
The other police officer, Erasmus could see his name badge said Higgs, let go of Heather and put his hand on Cooper's shoulder. Cooper didn't take his eyes from Erasmus.
‘Easy, Coops,’ said PC Higgs.
Erasmus realised that now Cooper was also putting his career on the line and in doing so had yielded all his advantage.
‘Are you threatening an officer of the court, PC Cooper?’
There was a crackle from the radio that PC Higgs carried on his belt. He pulled it out and Erasmus caught a crackly voice mention a 187. Erasmus knew what that one meant, a homicide.
Higgs pulled Cooper aside. ‘There's another one,’ he whispered to Cooper.
Cooper pulled away and turned back to Erasmus. ‘You got lucky, we got to go so I'll leave you and your jailbait but I won't forget you.’
‘Which is funny, PC Cooper, because I think I've already forgotten about you.’
Erasmus helped Heather off the floor.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked her.
Heather was smiling as she moved towards Erasmus and tried to give him a hug. Erasmus tried to dodge the hug but Heather was nothing if not nimble and she jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck.
‘Raz, if you weren't such an old dude I tell you you'd be my man, ha ha!’
Erasmus managed to put Heather down. Her friends had started to drift off, skateboarding to friendlier pastures.
‘Look Heather, you've got to take care. I can recognise an evil streak and that cop has one a mile wide. With the end of the strike they are looking for busts and with your record next time you get convicted you are going down.’
Heather's smile dropped. Maybe he was