What was it about women that made it so easy for them to connect with one another and be able to read each other’s minds? And why hadn’t he grasped the true depth of Megan’s heart sooner, without Tess’s help?
“Gerard, there are barely eight hundred people living here,” Megan said. “You bring Texas here and it won’t be Jolly Mill anymore.”
“This is strictly a fact-gathering trip. I arrived this morning and wanted to see you first.”
“You drove all night.”
He nodded.
“Looks like it.”
“Thanks.”
Something around her eyes seemed to relax. “You’re seriously considering this because of what I said about Jolly Mill?”
“Have you ever known me to lie?”
She held his gaze, and a glint of the gold seemed to lighten. “Not to me because you knew I’d make you suffer if I caught you at it.”
He felt his own tension settle, and he grinned at her.
“I have, however, known you to keep things from Tess,” she reminded him, “when you thought you were protecting her, and there have been times when you tended to take a more paternal attitude toward me.”
“You’re reminding me I’m bossy?”
“Well, yeah, there’s that.” Her voice was heavy with sarcasm, but the corners of her lips turned up.
The two-week fight that had hovered between them over the miles had ended, just like that. Now to keep it from returning. “I couldn’t let you deal with this alone,” he said. “It’s too big for one person to handle.”
“You seem to be handling it.”
“I didn’t take the brunt of it. You did. And I’m not handling it alone the way you are. Tess and Sean and the whole staff know what happened. Sean and I have had some long talks about it. Who can you talk to about it?”
She looked away.
“That’s what I thought,” he said. “Nobody. You shouldn’t be alone with the memories.”
“I want to be alone.”
“No, you don’t.”
She scowled. “You don’t listen very well.”
“Sometimes I have to listen to the tone of your voice instead of your words. I have to read your expression.”
Megan rolled her eyes. “Gerard, I don’t need to be rescued.”
“Yeah. You do. And what about your patients? You’re treating again, but you told me you feared for the well-being of your patients at the mission because you weren’t sleeping.” He reached forward and touched her cheek before she could stop him. She looked so drawn. Her skin was cold. He wanted to warm it. “You’re still not getting much sleep.”
“What part about my request for time didn’t you understand?”
“Time to do what? Go back to the same kind of job you were doing?”
She met his gaze. “It’s not the same kind of job at all. Everyone has a home and food to eat, and I don’t have to cut babies out of their dead mothers. There’s no comparison.”
He heard the angst in her voice and he wanted to reach out and hold her in his arms and heal all her pain. Tess accused him of trying to play God, but she was wrong. “You need time from the memories, Megan, but you’re not getting it, obviously. Therefore you need someone—”
“And that would be you, of course.”
“Exactly.”
“What would you be able to do for me?”
“Listen. Help. Support.”
She shook her head. “If I talk about it, the nightmares will just get worse.”
“Have they gotten any easier since you arrived here?”
She turned away, and the soft sound of her footsteps echoed across the wooden porch.
“I’ll take that as a no. You wouldn’t take my calls.” He followed her. “Did you even read those messages Kirstie passed along? I know she gave them to you because she told me she did. In fact, she even called me back one time and apologized for you.”
Megan bowed her head, and the long, ginger-colored strands of her hair glowed in the early-morning sunlight.
“That’s what I thought,” he said.
“Please, I’m not ready for this. I can’t—”
“You’re going to have to work through it because your mind isn’t letting it go.”
She turned, and her expression slowly hardened as her stare became a glare. “How I handle my emotional baggage is my own business.”
Okay, he had that coming. Note for next time: a guy didn’t just barge in on a woman before sunrise and expect a warm welcome. Why did he push so hard? Because he was right. At least this time. He knew from talking to Kirstie that Megan was struggling.
“How did you find me?” she asked.
“You left your address book behind in your apartment. Your landlord found it. You weren’t answering your cell so I called every one of your friends until I reached one who didn’t sound surprised when I asked about you.”
She leaned against a support post beside the steps and crossed her arms. “And you felt you had a right to page through my personal property?”
“Sure did. I was worried about you when you didn’t even call Tess.”
“And Kirstie was willing to trust a complete stranger?” Megan asked.
“Not until I chatted with her for a while.”
“Charmed her, you mean.”
He grinned. “I simply convinced her I was trust worthy. You’d paved the way, of course, but she’s also a good judge of character.”
“She wasn’t always.”
“You’re talking about her husband, the weakling who abandoned her after the diagnosis.”
Megan’s eyes widened. “She really did trust you.”
He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a trustworthy man.”
Megan shoved away from the support post and gazed through the trees toward the barn Gerard had spotted earlier. There was the sadness again, not only in her eyes, but in every inch of her body, the way her shoulders slumped, the way her mouth turned down, the way she drew into herself as if trying to zip herself into a body bag.
“She told me about her blackouts,” Gerard said.
“The doctor who diagnosed her called it sundowner’s syndrome. How many times did you two talk?”
“Twice. I refuse to call it sundowner’s until someone can prove she has chronic Alzheimer’s or dementia.”
“You had extended conversations, no doubt.”
He nodded. “Not counting dozens of emails.”
“You didn’t tell her why I left the mission, did you?”
“I didn’t tell her about Joni. I did give her some explanation as to why you left.”