From somewhere, she dredged up a smile, not sure why this miraculous homecoming wasn’t going at all the way she’d always imagined it would, back when she’d refused to give up hope that they’d find Tucker alive.
“You and Sean have a son,” he said, his voice wooden and bleak.
“No, not Sean and I. We have a son,” she corrected. “You and I. Tucker, this is Eli, your boy. He’s three months old as of last week.” Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for his reaction. “Though I suspected before you left, I learned I truly was pregnant right after you left for Mexico. Right before you…died.”
Clearly in shock, Tucker only stared, his chiseled features emotionless.
“The CEO’s secret baby,” Sean joked. Neither Lucy nor Tucker responded.
Oblivious to it all, Eli cooed again, turning his sweet little mouth into her neck, blindly searching for sustenance. Immediately, her breasts tingled as her milk came in. She’d have to let him nurse soon. But first, he needed to meet his father.
Still Tucker didn’t move, standing frozen near the entrance to the room, looking huge and awkward and completely out of place. Her heart melted a little bit more.
“It’s okay,” she said, reassuring both the man and the child. “Come meet him. He won’t bite.”
As Tucker stepped forward, she lowered their baby from her shoulder, holding him in the crook of her arm.
Still silent, Tucker shot her a questioning look before peering into his son’s small, round face. Eli gurgled, wide-eyed and grinning. His bright blue eyes, reflected back in Tucker’s, fixated for a moment on his father’s craggy face. Then he wrinkled his mouth again, and she knew he was on the verge of screaming in that ear-piercing way babies have. He was hungry, after all.
A second later, he began to cry. Shifting him in her arms, she rocked him slowly, murmuring wordless endearments and crooning soothing sounds.
Immediately, Tucker took a step backward, his expression closed and unreadable again. But not before she saw the flash of pain.
“Hey E, it’s all right.” Sean appeared in the doorway behind Tucker. Eli broke off midcry at the sound of Sean’s cheery voice. His chubby face smoothed out and he cooed, happy again. He really did like Sean. After all, until now Sean had been like a father figure to him. The only one he’d known in his short time on earth.
“Let me see him,” Sean said, flashing an easy smile at Tucker before reaching to take Eli from Lucy.
As Sean took the baby and began rocking him, Tucker’s expression shut down even further, becoming a frozen mask.
“He knows Sean, that’s all,” she said softly. “You’ve got to give him time to get to know you, too.”
Tucker made a sound, a cross between a grunt and a curse, which could have meant anything. Exhaling, Lucy stifled the urge to comfort him. Clearly, he felt Sean had robbed him of not only her, but his family. A family he hadn’t even known he had.
Oblivious to the undercurrent swirling in the room, or pretending to be, Sean looked from one to the other, smiling as he cradled the baby expertly in the crook of his arm. “I think we’ve all got some catching up to do,” he said. “Eli’s an amazing kid. You must be so proud. Welcome home, buddy.”
Gaze still shuttered, Tucker nodded. “Thanks.” He studied Eli for a moment more before his eyes found Lucy. The starkness of the pain she saw there felt like a knife twisting in her heart.
Her own gut twisted. True, she and Sean were engaged. But even before his so-called death, Tucker had been well aware she’d wanted the entire white picket fence and family thing. He’d told her right before he left for Mexico that he wasn’t sure he could provide that. Now, more than a year later, he’d returned from the dead to learn another man had stepped up to the plate.
So she’d gotten engaged to his best friend. She had a child to think about now. At least Sean had been willing to provide for and, more important, love another man’s baby.
She opened her mouth to say exactly that, but Tucker beat her to it.
“We need to talk,” he said, his low voice simmering with anger and pain.
At the harsh tone, Eli whimpered and turned his face searchingly in her general direction before letting out a lusty cry, then another.
“He’s hungry,” she said, as her feeding-time breast-tingling intensified, making her pray she didn’t leak. “I’d better nurse him.”
Sean transferred the baby effortlessly to her. When she finished getting him settled, she turned her back to the two men and unfastened her blouse and nursing bra. As soon as Eli latched on to her nipple, she grabbed a baby blanket from the crib and covered herself and Eli. She turned back to face the two men, only to find Tucker watching, his expression shuttered.
Once again, she ached to go to him, pull him into an embrace like she used to, as she’d dreamed of doing for so many agonizing, painful nights after learning of his death—but she couldn’t. She belonged to another man now. She’d given her word.
As if he sensed her inner turmoil, Sean came up behind her. He put his arm around her shoulders and drew her and Eli close. Staking his claim. Tucker watched with narrowed eyes, but made no protest. Had she really expected him to? He had no right.
In the past year, she’d welcomed Sean’s comfort too many times to count. Hell, she’d needed it. There’d been days when she honestly thought she couldn’t go on. Sean had always been there for her. He’d been a good friend, though she’d known he wanted to be more. He’d persisted and finally, after the one-year anniversary of Tucker’s death had passed, she’d given in.
If she couldn’t have Tucker, Sean made a solid choice. Like her, he valued hearth, home and family.
Looking up to find both men watching her, she sighed. For an instant, she compared them. One tall and lean and dark, the other compact, with dirty-blond hair.
She should be happy. Scratch that, she should be ecstatic. Tucker was here, he was alive and she wished she could celebrate his return without a single reservation. Only she couldn’t. She glanced at Sean, saw only love warming his gaze, and kept herself still. She’d be fine. They’d all be fine.
She told herself she was not torn. True, everything had changed. Everything. Tucker was alive, and they had a child together. Of course, that would mean some sort of a relationship had to continue between them, for Eli’s sake. Nothing more. Tucker had to understand that. She’d accepted Sean’s proposal. He was a good man and she didn’t want to hurt him.
Eyeing the man she’d once thought she loved more than life itself, she relaxed into another man’s embrace and tried to reconcile her conflicted emotions. She’d loved Tucker once, but now she loved Sean, too. Her love for him might be less fiery, less passionate, but as a mother she trusted that the slow, steady warmth would endure for years, rather than flaming out of control in an unguarded moment.
Her choice had been solid, and not made impulsively. Sean would make a good husband, a fantastic father for Eli, who already appeared to love him.
Eli finished nursing and fell back asleep. Moving him to her shoulder, she refastened her bra and shirt before removing the blanket. Gently patting his back, she burped him. When she finished, she moved away, toward the crib.
“I’ll be right back,” she said softly. “Don’t talk about anything important without me.” She was only half kidding.
Moving swiftly, she placed Eli back in his crib and got him settled before she turned to face the two men waiting, still standing silently. The atmosphere felt charged with tension. Uncomfortable.
“He should sleep a little longer,” she said, trying to start a conversation.
Still,